Submitted by [deleted] t3_10mn4y4 in LifeProTips
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Submitted by [deleted] t3_10mn4y4 in LifeProTips
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Yeah some bullies are psychopaths and capable of doing much worse should they be given a reason.
I know plenty of bullies who would quickly throw a punch if you stood up to them. They've gotta protect that tough guy reputation, and they will.
“That’s my purse! I don’t know you!”
I've noticed if the person who stands up to them is a little bigger they play it off and avoid that person But almost allways rush to the ez victim to pick on. Most bullied are actually sissies on the inside, proven fact. But when I worked at State Prison I see some bullies who were not sissies and can beat three who are also as big but not as bad . But everyone knows most bullies secretly wear pink panties.
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Take your shirt off and scream "NO! Im not a goddamn furry and I don't want to join your Sonic fan club!" What are they gonna do? If they hit you it'll look like they were pissed you didn't join. If they try to tell people about this it'll seem like they were asking you to join.
Be legitimately unhinged and they'll leave you alone. I've avoided bar fights by saying "If you hit me I'll cry and tell mom." They look so confused and then walk away.
I know a dude who avoided a mugging by singing a song to the would-be mugger. Got confused, looked for hidden cameras, and the dude ran away when the mugger’s head was turned.
While this works to a degree, this sacrifices your own reputation more than it impacts the bully(ies). You're basically choosing a solo school life until the end of high school. Speaking from experience
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School? Wtf
People don't really call these kinds of people "bullies" outside of school, they're just called assholes.
So people get mugged at school?
Yeah, that happens.
Yikes, mugged at gunpoint in school?
Have you seen the US relationship between schools and guns?
Yes... You know, some schools in the US require you to be searched and go through detectors and such on the way in.
Nah, most people on the Internet are not from America but more civilised countries
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Depends on the bully and situation but usually just ignoring them and walking away. Most of the time if you don't acknowledge them they get mad but don't get the satisfaction they are looking for.
That will then cause them to escalate. The only way to stop bullies is to humiliate them. If your bully is a guy, always go for the balls no matter what. Life ain't fair so you fight dirty and always go for the cheap shots. ALWAYS
Granted this was in highschool where bullying is generally different than with adults but there was a bully who loved to throw food at our lunch table because he thought it was funny. Telling him to stop did nothing so we just ignored him, it didn't stop but it didn't get worse, just a few French fries or the occasional chicken nugget. Well one day my friend had enough, threw something back, told the bully to fuck off and quit acting like a child. The bully then proceeded to beat the shit out of him before getting pulled away.
Sure my friend could've just come out swinging and then got expelled with no repercussions to the bully otherwise. Maybe my friend could've really come at him hard and really put the fear into him, but if you put someone in the hospital you're getting charged and ruining your life for nothing. Maybe my friend strikes first and settles it for the day but with this billy you can bet he would've just jumped my friend in the parking lot later. The only way to avoid a fight was to just ignore him.
When you're so scared of a bully that you think "settling it for a day" just means you're gonna get jumped in the parking lot ... You lost that fight before it even started.
Have some courage man.
Even a mouse will jump at a cat if they are pushed into a corner.
It's better to walk home with a broken nose but being able to look at yourself in the mirror without hating yourself, then looking each day into the mirror and just hate yourself and your life.
Learn how to fight. Find a buddy whos interested in training. Learn kickboxing and jujitsu by watching techniques on youtube and then practicing with your buddy. A small amount of training can make you much better than someone with no experience.
There isn't a straight up solution. It's case by case.
Like sure, my high school bullies stopped after my brother found out their names and made sure they suffered consequences until they got the message (massively appreciate his intervention)
But I've seen other bullies be stood up to and it escalated massively from going back for more rounds, coming back with friends, there's been kids knifed on their way home from school.
It isnt ideal but yeah if your bully is the type you describe in your post, go for it, stand up and make them back down. But not every bully is like that . Some might want you to fight back, some might really mess you up
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Punch back. As someone who grew up as a small kid with ADHD, I learned that lesson pretty quickly. Bullies like easy targets. If you show them that messing with you comes at a cost, they'll move on to someone else. Do it as many times as it takes, although it usually ends after the first time. The alternative is not standing up for yourself and allowing them to torment you forever.
Since you’re saying a bully I’ll assume school either middle or high school. You tell a teacher. That’s the solution. Schools have a 0 tolerance policy for that. And if by some odd means that teacher doesn’t care tell a different one, heck go to the principal if nobody listens. I promise you teachers will address this and stop it if you let them know.
So i see you went to a home school.
Teachers don't do shit, and the zero tolerance policy means that you get in trouble too for being a victim.
You only think they don’t do anything because you never spoke up. Tell them, tell the principal. Schools do not need the law suit from a kid being bullied. I assure you they’ll step in.
Edit: On the chance you’re getting bullied and you spoke up without help, go to your principal and say you’re being bullied and you don’t feel safe. Make sure you emphasize you don’t feel safe. Maybe you have a crap teacher and if so I’m sorry. But the principal should know not to play games with a kid feeling unsafe. It’s hard, trust me I was picked on and it was at a time teachers legit didn’t care. But you gotta be your own advocate. Alternatively tell your parents and let them complain to the school.
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No joke this is a one way trip to getting your ass beaten even harder depending on the person
I'm not saying don't stand up to them, but find other means to deter them since it won't always work that you standing up to them will stop them from bullying you.
You fighting them back hurts their ego, so they're going to retaliate to regain their lost ego. So always be ready for a counterattack from them.
Yes, so the real advice should be: become the psycho yourself and make that bully disappear and when people ask you where your bully is, then you say that he probably wasn't satisfied with the way he bullied you
/s
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This only works if you win the fight…
And bullies aren’t dumb. They typically are stronger than those who they pick on.
I got bullied in school and fighting them, and getting my ass beat worked. They left me alone afterwards. Worst was a broken orbital. I learned I could take a lot more than I thought. Your mileage may vary.
This completely contradicts your post title.
ALWAYS stand up to bullies.
Avoiding a fight is almost always a good idea.
Which is it?
“Only a Sith deals in absolutes” - Jedi
Go absolutely ape shit mad on them if you're gonna go that route. And win for honor.
I’d always under any circumstance avoid violence. It’s only a last recourse if your life is threatened.
...and then you get expelled for fighting because muh zero tolerannce
Yeah I'll never understand that part
Self-defense but you're the one who's losing more by fighting back even though you've made it well aware that you're being bullied by an individual/s
There's a mindset among people in charge that nothing is ever a problem until someone is complaining. So if someone complains, their response might not be "fix the problem." It might be "get the person to stop complaining." If you teach people that they'll be punished if they complain, you'll see complaints drop drastically.
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It's because they don't give a flying fuck about actually solving problems and only care about their optics. "Look I suspend everyone for fighting no matter what, I hate violence! Keep me as principal and I will continue to make sure there is never any violence again!" they say as bullets go flying because that one weird kid that's picked on isn't able to just cold cock the person bullying them.
It's the exact same mentality of conservatives with drugs or liberals with guns, where if we just make it illegal, then the problem is magically solved.
Yeah, I got suckered punched twice in the face by a wrestler who I guess thought I was a nerd or something- kinda was. Anyway he clocks me twice in the face and broke my nose. I'm gushing blood so I ran to the bathroom- kid was huge, I was stunned, not fighting back sorry champ. I get out of the bathroom and go to the nurse for ice. Nurse takes me to principle and this kid is saying I made a racist joke and that's why he hit me. I couldn't even honestly deny it because it was racism and the school was convinced I said something because he brought up how offended he was. This motherfucker gets 2 days out of school suspension and I get 1 week in school suspension- for getting punched in the face? Okie dokie.
Wow, to me that explains why you currently have more school shootings this year than days elapsed.
I saw it happen a ton in high school. Bullies victimized people constantly and the victim was the only one who ever seemed to get punished. When my kid gets to that age, if I find out he's gotten suspended for fighting back against a bully I will happily take a week off of work and bring him on a father-son vacation. The administration is only ever interested in covering its own ass; bullying is something they can typically sweep under the rug and victims shouldn't be punished for defending themselves.
I gut punched a bully in the highschool locker room after he pants my buddy and got his underwear with it. It was during kick ball. My buddy was the pitcher. It was girls vs boys... He was facing all the girls and it was the last straw for me. Gym teacher let me off and told him that was fair punishment. I got him good too
Then you do what a kid back in the day at my school did and beat up the principal.
Lmao what kinda school was that, but ngl I thought about it aswell in high school
Even worse. You don’t fight back and take the beating and still get expelled for fighting.
Bad advice. There's no one solution fits all for dealing with bullies anyway.
Good advice to get the shit kicked out of you too
…or fired.
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And their point is that you're making assumptions that are far from always true.
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There is no quick LPT solution. There are times to stand up for yourself and times to back down.
Not necessarily. Some want the exact opposite. Some just like mindless fighting.
In many situations, this is awful advice
This is a bad life pro type. Highly circumstantial and can lead to lot of trouble
This is a shitty LPT that is going to get a lot of people beaten up or something. My bully recently got me fired. Yes, some of them are lazy, but sometimes it doesn't take a lot of effort for them to fuck you over.
This is not universal and you had best be prepared for a fight if you follow this LPT.
This can easily backfire
I stood up to a bully much stronger than me. Almost lost an eye.
He got suspended though, during exams week. Lost a semester, and was beaten silly by his abusive father.
This is actually a dangerous tip and using a superlative like “always” is a fools game. Many people die each year because they “stood up” to an unhinged person or tried to de escalate a situation and got shot.
Every time I've ever stood up to a bully they disappeared from my life after that.
Revenge is seeing them years later in a shit job and no future ( because they spent life bullying people and not bettering themselves).
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Not exactly. Sometimes you must first attack while hiding
This is terrible advice. Most if the time bullies are looking for a reaction. If you give it to them they will keep coming back for more and escalating further and further if you try to ignore it.
What bullies are looking for is fear, embarrassment, shame, impotent rage, and the like. If you give it to them in any form they will never stop.
If you're capable of fighting them and winning, sure, that's a solution. If you're half their size and they can easily destroy you any attempt to fight back is just going to make them laugh and beat you up every day.
The first trick is to never rise to their bait. The second is to show confidence and lack of fear. If you project the idea that you don't want to fight but you're not going to back down from one, either, they will not target you and will usually pick on someone else.
i was bullied young
teachers didn't help
i ended up taking a tree branch to his head one time when he came at me again
teachers didn't see it
he didn't mess with me again
i saw he was working wendy's about 10 years ago
life's great.
Sure, if you're living in a PG movie.
In reality they're bullies because they like conflict. It empowers them. If you try and stand up to them it threatens that empowerment... and in my own anecdotal experience, they will fight to protect that empowerment. And that's starting from a position where their morale is high and yours is low... dangerous fight for you.
I wasn't safe until puberty finished and I was figuratively twice their size, reliably kicking their asses in said fights.
This is great advice if the bully you're dealing with is not a psychopath, a narcissist, a sociopath, or totally unhinged. Problem is that you sometimes only find out the hard way.
I know what you mean. Some idiot got aggressive and tried to intimidate me at the grocery store two weeks ago. He was a bit taller but definitely much more muscular. I knocked him out and laid him out cold as I walked away. I had a lot of witness and they all saw how cool and calm I was until he wouldn't leave me alone. We were waiting in a long line to pay. It started with him following me through the store because I supposedly got in his way and he didn't like the tone of "Excuse me" to grab something in front of him. He felt it was done with attitude. I saw him at the same grocery store yesterday and he couldn't look at me. He actually sped up and pretended to not see me despite making eye contact. 😂. I gave him two warnings and asked him to leave me alone. The third time he got in my face and I had to do a hard reset to reboot! He seems pretty humble now.
Exact same applies at work when a superior is being disrespectful or talking down to you or someone else. Stand up to them. Don’t accept that shit. Ever.
Just make sure that when you decide to stand up to a bully:
Opposing or exposing the bully could quickly backfire in bad ways, therefore when possible - ensure your own safety during and after the process.
Many bullies will in fact clobber you when you try to put up a fight. If you're gonna go for them, make sure you can win.
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i actually don’t agree at all
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People acting like this equals getting beat up. From my experience it doesn't at all, but people should understand the difference between escalation and standing up for yourself. Some people think they should escalate to show the bully what's up, that's a great way to force them into having to fight you.
Instead, I have always just been like "I am not fucking around, I will beat your ass, do something if you want it" simple as that I wouldn't go any further, simply state that I am willing and put the ball in the bullies court. It's worked for me many times. They typically follow it up with "whatever man". I have had it work on guys twice my size.
Another thing to keep in mind is gauging if this is a crazy people or someone trying to look cool. If they are crazy, then tell them to fuck off and walk away. If they are clearly trying to apply pressure to you to look cool in front of other people, odds are they aren't fully prepared to fight.
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Most bullies want a reaction. The best thing to do is ignore them and act like what they're saying isn't bothering you.
This is very poor advice. It’s the kind of thing people want to believe, but it’s rarely true.
Bully: taking out a knife and killing you
Sorry OP but this is horrible LPT. Plenty of bullies are looking for an excuse to hit you. Never loop people like this into one group.
The actual solution for a bully (I’m assuming school) is telling a teacher. Schools do not F around with bullying since all the events of the 90s. Nobody laughs it off. Nobody does the boys will be boys or just laugh it off stuff anymore. They will address it, especially if you make it clear you are being bullied and it is not ok. If somehow the teacher doesn’t care (which would shock me) take it right to the principal. I assure you some school staff member will step in.
And before anyone says “Then you’re a rat and you’ll be picked on.” No. Then you’re safe because if anyone does pick on you again tell an adult and they will end it. I have taught at all sorts of schools and when it came to bullying of any sort, the second staff found out it ended. Staff meetings brought it up and informed all staff to be aware and intervene. Bullies were talked to and informed everyone was aware. And it never happened again, or if it did the bully was immediately suspended and parents talked to, and then it definitely never happened again.
Is today's life pro tip how to more easily get stabbed during your day?
Mostly in jest but as blanket advice this is TERRIBLE
I'm old now (45), but when I was in high school in the mid 90s we went to high school at grade 8. We had a bully that would wait for us daily and if we didnt give him all money it wouldn't end well. One time a friend stood up to that bully and ended up in intensive care, so please take this life tip with a grain of salt because not all bullies are the same
Not always true, but I had a wrench that day.
Better pro tip is know when you're about to punch above your weight class sometimes turning the other cheek is better than spending a night in a hospital due to a bar room brawl
This is not a universal truth. A lot of bullies are looking for a reaction. And the person that throws a fit or is obviously deeply bothered or whatever becomes their favorite target.
Couldn’t agree more.
Yeah the people in my city that put up a fight against thieves got shivved, so maybe not.
Everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
Unless they are on meth, pcp, or bath salts. Then stay the fuck away.
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Remember this for the workplace. Coworkers, bosses who learned bullying as children continue to use that because it works. Checking them is important to avoiding their toxic.
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Translation: Bully the bullies. Got it....
Do you mean bullies like in the workplace or in high school? Cause some of the high schools near me had bullies that were in literal gangs and I was not gonna get stabbed trying to get back a stolen $10 bill 😬
My grandma's advice on dealing with bullying was always "hit them so hard they'll remember not to mess with you again". Glad I didn't take it seriously.
But if you ever do, catch them alone and catch them off guard. With no people to witness whatever happens they are much more likely to give up.
This is more of a Life Threatening Tip
Add to that that they are cowards. You don't see them bullying anyone stronger, they pray on the weak.
Bullying doesn't magically stop at a certain age, it continues throughout their lives to some extent. It might be contained to their families or jobs. It doesn't stop until they are confronted by a bigger bully than themselves and even that is no guarantee that they will quit.
One time I stood up to a bully. He proceeded to punch me two times in the face and almost broke my nose.
This is bad advice
I know a guy who got his teeth obliterated by doing this and had to get facial reconstruction.
True LpTs in the comments
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Back where I'm from it's called getting a lickin' ..I was on the west coast not long ago and some big dummy started talking shit so I warned him. I told him meet me behind the wood shed I was gonna lick his ass good. After I saw the other people looking at me strange I realized how I sounded. I went ahead and just shot him in his leg and left . I never tried to talk like a cowboy after that. If someone ever says something like ' Bo I'm gonna lick you' or 'give you a licken' then your about to get Beat up and stomped a 'mud hole in you. I saw a few cowboy fights in Wichita Falls Texas at Cowboy County bar and line dance place, it's like Gillys from move Urban cowboy . Anyway don't fuck with a Cowboy because when you get outside to fight they are tough mother fuckers. They are really good people who don't look for trouble but like to get drunk and have fun just like everyone else. They are real men and nothing like the punk bitches who attack from behind and gang stomp old people or anyone they think they can victimize. 2 weeks ago A group of about 10 smashed a senior man in his head from behind then 5 kicked and punched him hard in his head and only stopped after blood came from his ears and broke ribs. 2 got caught and said they did it because wanted his bike, which they did get. The senior was a very nice person and collected cans and plastic for a long time and finally bought his hard earned bike a few weeks earlier and those heartless pussies hurt him and got the bike.
4 of us got tired of giant bully Tommy . So Roland made a plan and we tricked ,trapped and tied Tommy with a long rope and hung him over the edge of the hill which was scary high and steep..if anyone knows the Santa Fe R.R. in Barstow that is the place where we made Tommy think he was about to be killed. After we scared the soul out of him for over a hour and he was broken and crying like the little girl he really was, we let him live. He changed after that day. Years later us 4 were glad we let him live because he became a good person and a close friend like a brother to us. A totally different one from riverside drive in Barstow thought he could own my sister and treat her however he wanted. Somehow he got kidnapped and roasted out in the Desert. But thats all I'll say about that.
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Works every time. As long as you do it right and your parents did their job and actually taught you how to throw a punch.
I recently made a protocol mistake at a cathedral in Madrid. A few other folks agreed with me that it was not clear and we’re surprised too. It was a tour guide that took it on his own authority to yell across a room to correct me. I immediately in a regular tone and voice apologized and told him I was not aware of the rule in that room ( started taking a picture in a room with no photos) and no signs saying no photos. He immediately in a very loud voice told me I was wrong, and I knew I violated the rule on purpose. The dozen or so folks in his tour were visibility shaken as everyone in the room stopped and looked on at the commotion. I was not having ANY of that BS. I then raised my voice across the room and loudly sad, you are wrong and I don’t appreciate your accusation. He again said I knew the rule again said you did on purpose. I returned with an equally loud voice and said “ what tour company are you employed by”? He did not answer the question , but replied again that I knew the rules. I then replied wrong again buddy. By this point I’m pretty damned bent. I was going to have the last word. I then very clearly and loudly said “ rude and unprofessional”. He realized he screwed with someone who would not back down. I walked out of the room right past him and his tour group. It was totally awkward and uncomfortable. That guy assumed because I was a tourist he could “teach me a lesson”. I assumed that if I quietly apologized for my minor error he would accept and go about his business. We were both wrong. I have no doubt he received some pretty poor ratings and minimal tips. He made a room full of people feel a awkward and bad. I’ll try owning up to mistakes I make, but humiliate me and I’ll send it back over and over again. This happened last week. It’s been my only negative “ encounter” since I’ve been touring.
Great Great Great advice..
Edit: i see a lot of comments interpreting this as physical. It doesn't have to be physical, it can be mental too.
I faced 3 bullies in first grade. They had me cornered at the pencil sharpener. I literally ran over them knocking all 3 down like dominos. Never had a single issue after that even though I was always one of the smallest guys in my class.
Learn to defend yourself, and then defend others who can't.
If you do have to beat someone, do it with respect. help them up, make them put there hands up, whatever it is. Kicking them while there down will make them think you got lucky and retaliate. If they know you won, and will win every time, they won't try it again, and they'll think twice the next time they think about picking on someone. Senselessly beating someone is no better than being a bully, no matter how much you think they deserve it.
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Good LPT that's lost on this generation.
Also, learn to fight and/or get stronger to defend yourself. This was what was taught to us when we were kids.
At one point in time this was the path to go, but it seems not anymore. It's a bizarre world.
Open carry... people don't bully people carrying firearms
CubyChris t1_j6409qz wrote
Bullies are not identical, and neither are thieves. The only thing for certain about a bully, is that they're consistently an asshole to at least one person.
Sure, there's definitely a lot that have never faced consequences, and will give up if you fight back.
Problem is, there's a looot that are practically sociopathic. I've both seen and been victim to threats and attempts on my life, over the smallest verbal comeback.
Stereotyping dangerous people is dangerous dude.