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SonOfTed t1_j28l84n wrote

Be an active listener. Ask questions, find a topic they are interested in, then listen intently, paraphrase them, and ask more questions in a genuine attempt to understand them, understand why they care about the topic, and to gain a better understanding of the topic yourself. Resist the urge to make the conversation about yourself or share your own examples/stories. If they're not an entirely self-centered person they will naturally show an interest in you in response to you acting this way.

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Composer-Right t1_j296ahk wrote

+1 to this. Expanding a bit... Something that helps become a more active listener is to use your imagination to create a "scene" from the story that others are sharing with you. This will keep your brain more focused on the story while also create opportunities for legitimate follow up (by trying to fill details on the scene you are creating).

A second trick is to stop a natural impulse to reply with YOUR Own story and, instead, ask a few questions to get more details.

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