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sacklunch t1_ixb0riz wrote

Just ordered a third 55 gallon drum of lube for this very reason.

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herbythechef t1_ixco5kc wrote

I like to jump into the barrel, get out and shake myself off before a good session

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blue_blurpie t1_ixb32n6 wrote

Just getting my dad this Atomic Prostate Blaster 5000 for Christmas…

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motsanciens t1_ixawhoq wrote

Specifically, I mean if you have nosy family members or children who usually want to know what's in any package that arrives.

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soggy_gargoyle t1_ixbviul wrote

Ahh, I see. Well you must have some well-behaved family members. Unfortunately in my house such an enigmatic explanation might actually arouse greater curiosity and have the unintended consequence of heightening my kids' scrutiny of what I do with Christmas packages because they have the habit of snooping in our stuff. The number one adverse outcome would be having yet another hiding spot being compromised.

Current standard operating procedure dictates that any inquiry made by a non-adult occupant of our house in regard to the contents of a shipped package which happens to contains sensitive materials be fielded with one of two carefully considered responses: "books" or "cleaning suppies". I can assure you it is 100 percent effective in this house. I predict a zero percent chance of there ever being posed a single follow-up question.

The moment my kids think there's something to look for in the bowels of our house is the moment I lose one of a dwindling number of spots I can stash things like lube or contraband.

The stakes are high. I'd like to continue to smoke weed privately every once in awhile after my kids are asleep. It gives me something to do on a few or many of the 350-some nights of the year when im not having lube-assisted semi-annual sex with my wife.

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soggy_gargoyle t1_ixatgsd wrote

Secrets of Christmas, you say? And bulk lube? My my. Do tell. Admittedlly very unfamiliar with this technique but quite willing to learn.

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Flowofinfo t1_ixaznr0 wrote

Do you think anyone really cares?

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Snagmesomeweaves t1_ixbqhbl wrote

My wife and I bought a 55 gallon drum of lube and it was a great investment

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Flair_Helper t1_ixkvu4y wrote

Hello motsanciens, thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason:

Your post is not a life pro tip. Advice is any guidance or recommendation concerning prudent future action. An aphorism is a short clever saying that is intended to express a general truth or a concise statement of a principle.Try r/YouShouldKnow.

If you would like to appeal this decision please feel free to contact the moderators here. Do not repost without explicit permission from the moderators. Make sure you read the rules before submitting. Thank you!

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keepthetips t1_ixaslnc wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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XANDERtheSHEEPDOG t1_ixaweqf wrote

Hmmm. I've never had to hide my "adult" purchases. My husband gets very happy whenever I come home with a bag from fascinations.... food for thought though, I may have to ensure some "christmas secrets" 😉 end up under the tree.

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whiskeybeesus t1_ixazfcp wrote

Do you think those workers care... no. No they don't get a rabbit and a double ended dildo at 8 am on a Tuesday.

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