autotelica OP t1_ixzvefl wrote
Reply to comment by PurpleSwitch in LPT: Instead of telling a self-conscious person that no one is ever negatively judging them, agree with them that people probably are thinking mean things about them. But tell them those people are jerks. Jerks aren't worth worrying over. by autotelica
This is really insightful.
Like I can get why people think they are just trying to help by saying stuff like "Of course you will get your dream job" or "Of course you'll find your Mr./Ms. Right". But that's just going to make the worrier feel like it really will be the worst thing in the world if they don't get their desired outcome. What they need to hear is a reminder that the worst case scenario isn't as bad as they think it is for reasons X, Y, or Z.
It's the difference between toxic positivity and optimism.
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