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When that happens to me I just assume they were a serial killer and instincts saved me yet again

I mean, why can't you just "not feel it"?

Because I'm not the most internally/mentally stable and consistent individual and there are certain factors that affect my reasoning and behavior. I guess.

For example, my attachment style is quite clearly avoidant. That means that I deeply crave intimacy, but at the same time distance myself from people when they get too close, like in romantic relationships. I find it very hard to commit, often fixate on the negatives (no matter how miniscule) and so on, if that makes sense.

Basically, I can't fully rely on my "gut feelings" about people because some of my defense mechanisms masquerade as gut feelings.

but for this relationship it has either ended because you should have ended it or because you shouldn't have.

Either way means that you should not be the one to undo this.

The first because it is the wrong move and the second because your malfunction is not repaired enough to be a fair partner to the person that you ran from.

Why would it not be up to me to undo my wrong move, if it was a wrong move?

It is entitled and unfair because, as you admit, you are not emotionally mature enough for the relationship (If that is the case).

One last thing- I think of these things like crossing the Rubicon. Once a breakup occurs, things will always be different.

Sure, but most things can be worked through. Breakups, divorces, infidelity, you name it.

But thank you anyway, I think I understand how you mean.

The statistics are not in favor of your opinion on partner relationship repair. Most people do not ultimately work it out and repair it. They may try but it just repeats and often times the drama is amplified eventually

Most people aren't in relationships that are worth repairing anyway, it seems.

I read your other comments and I share some of your qualities like avoidant attachment for one.

Even though I sometimes ignore this, I do truly believe it: if the relationship was meant to be, then you wouldn't have had any doubts.

I've been in relationships where I had no doubts at the beginning. It happens. Those are the good ones. One of mine lasted 9 years.

Then I've dated people where I had doubts but really wanted to make it work, and it never ends well.

You're likely to feel some questioning or regret whenever breaking up with someone over some vague doubts because it's not something obvious like being cheated on. It's tricky but important to realize the doubts will probably never go away and you'll end up wasting a lot of time.