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huh_phd t1_iydlxhf wrote

Reply to comment by LinPixiedragon in LPT: If you're going to a therapist you trust, plan what to talk with them by GaraBlacktail

>A therapist has learned to do exactly that

Exactly what? Listen and affirm?

>but they're the one teaching me how to do this

Not to be rude, but couldn't you also learn this stuff, online for free without exposing yourself?

The objectivity is nice, but they just dig and dig - even if there's no substance. Example: a therapist GRILLED me about my tattoos, for almost half a session (out of network and cost me $275) and refused to accept that I got them because I like art?

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LinPixiedragon t1_iydsm4u wrote

That's a fair point you raise, but no. You can't learn this type of stuff yourself. You need a second person to be a sounding board.

Because you need to be able to voice out the stuff in your head in order to process it. A good therapist should then be able to coach you. That bit, the coaching part, that's what is essential. You could do something similar with a friend, or a lover, or a random person you plucked from the street, but you won't know if that person will be able to ask the right questions to steer you in a direction that helps you. It could even be detrimental for your mental health if it's the wrong questions.

Sadly, the same goes when your therapist is not a good fit for you. And it sounds like the therapist you mentioned was that for you. It's unfortunate someone has to get an appointment to get on a waiting list, then book an appointment, have several sessions before you realize this person doesn't work for you. And you have to go through the whole circus again. But that's an issue of healthcare, not therapy in itself.

Also, I would've personally told that therapist to stop being so creepily obsessed with my tattoos. I'd be there with a specific goal in mind, not listen to their Freudian excuses for being a creep.

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huh_phd t1_iyee0q7 wrote

>You can't learn this type of stuff yourself. You need a second person to be a sounding board.

Why?

>creepily obsessed with my tattoos

Oh I did. I asked him if he wanted to see the one on my ass too. He probably tried to profile me as an inmate (guy worked at the prison too). I politely reminded him that I am also a doctor, and told him to fuck himself not so politely.

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