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keepthetips t1_ixlzs8v wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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PrisonerV t1_ixm1zmn wrote

And that's why the anti-vaxx cousins are not welcome in our house. And (praise baby Jesus) neither are their hell-spawn children.

Ironically, both their vaccinated mothers (who snubbed us last year for it) are coming to dinner because their precious babies never learned how to cook a decent meal apparently.

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gardener-of-weeden t1_ixm4a37 wrote

Be With and Call those you are truly thankful for today, and call the rest of them tomorrow

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Baxterado t1_ixm4en4 wrote

Replying to PrisonerV (#649,171)

Lol. This is so relatable.

I was hoping for an uneventful time until there was a mass shooting an hour away at a gay club just before my homophobic Trumper mom arrived.

It's been a tough week.

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oNOCo t1_ixm5m97 wrote

Already have something scheduled with my mom

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PalmerDixon t1_ixm8r4e wrote

They'll say "you never visit us" anyway, so just embrace the freebie.

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SirCSquared OP t1_ixmdrau wrote

Replying to PalmerDixon (#650,029)

I’m 36, over several years of unpacking and evaluating and forgiving and disappointment I just realized these are not people with the emotional toolkit to meet me even 1/6th, let alone half, the way.

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DivvySUCKS t1_ixmhw23 wrote

Crazy SIL was here for 24 hours and I was "occupied" and out of the house or asleep for all but 1 of those hours. Score!

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psb-introspective t1_ixmrnyl wrote

Ive seen this post about 10 times in different variations today.

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DAecir t1_ixn5phg wrote

We usually avoid Thanksgiving by enjoying it with Disney characters at Disneyland, but it is harder to do now that we moved out of California. And so much more complicated now that park reservations are required. Before, we only needed to make dinner reservations.

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TwireonEnix t1_ixn72r0 wrote

Better use the term 'blood relatives' if they're toxic.

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Troll-Tollbooth t1_ixn9vzi wrote

Replying to PrisonerV (#652,995)

What is it like in your fantasy world where the vaccine is still a relevant topic. Everyone has at least natural immunity now, and the vaccine does not prevent transmission. You are in a cult that makes you deny reality.

−6

Low-Nefariousness634 t1_ixna63s wrote

My 2 year old is sick and ruining my holiday. Is Moe’s open?

−2

gbchrome t1_ixnbftv wrote

Too late, already committed :p.

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Substantial-Rip-4070 t1_ixncngg wrote

Been doing this since freshman year of college. I've only been once since I made that decision (because my mom begged me), and I don't plan on going back 😁

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Giggingurl t1_ixnejba wrote

My hubby and dog all I need!

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DishsoapOnASponge t1_ixnexm8 wrote

Yep. Spending the day playing video games and sharing some turkey with my cats.

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MagAqua t1_ixngkk5 wrote

You’re clearly projecting so happy thanksgiving OP ☺️

−7

Autumnlove92 t1_ixnh7i9 wrote

As someone who doesn't have family, I never understood my friends bitching about their Thanksgiving but then saying they HAVE to go because they gotta "make nice" to the family. In my opinion, if you're relationship with said family is you pretending to be nice, it's not a very good relationship

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lniuunbu t1_ixnhtau wrote

sometimes I feel like these r written by people who are trying their best to believe what they're posting about so they seek others approval on social media like this

−5

BrookeBaranoff t1_ixnjq44 wrote

I like to send affirmations to family and friends but I don’t celebrate Turkey day because I know history fact from history fluff so this year I sent this article with something for those who like holidays and something for those who don’t and everyone in between and said “you pick!” https://theeverygirl.com/holiday-affirmations/

−4

johnperkins21 t1_ixnjsb5 wrote

If they're detrimental to your mental health, they're not "loved ones".

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SirCSquared OP t1_ixnk162 wrote

Replying to lniuunbu (#655,023)

Well, it’s an anonymous form of media. I don’t care about clout, but there’s quite a few people who struggle to separate themselves from relationships that don’t serve them anymore.

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Zipzorpzap t1_ixnogyw wrote

It’s also ok to not care about this holiday and treat it like a basic ass Thursday.

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Nacho_7258 t1_ixnpz1d wrote

Unfortunately I gotta spend the entire day of my mom saying every sentence as a complaint all day and my step dad trying to be goofy and funny which just makes her more mad. The holidays, great time.

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notenoughroomtofitmy t1_ixnruve wrote

The one thing I thank on thanksgiving is having a decent family. I had to grow up a lot before realizing that it isn’t the norm. My family isn’t perfect but I’m happy I have them, they’re good peeps. I hope everyone with bad families manages to break the cycle and raise a healthy family of their own, best wishes to you!!

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spellz666 t1_ixnu8fp wrote

I'm reading this while I'm currently sitting in a car with my sleeping 6th month old because the asshats inside are screaming/generally doing not safe things so I can't be in there. Happy Thanksgiving 🤷‍♀️

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happy-cig t1_ixnvt5x wrote

But I have to spend it with the in laws...

To keep my mental for the rest of the year.

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Gastonthebeast t1_ixnwuk8 wrote

Replying to johnperkins21 (#655,238)

I love my siblings, and hanging out with a small group of them is the best. What IS detrimental to my mental health is when there's twenty people around the table and I can't get up to use the bathroom without either crawling under the table, or trying to scooch past my disabled grandpa.

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mommadragon72 t1_ixnx0e7 wrote

Find people you love that are good for you. Visit them!!

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mommadragon72 t1_ixnxq46 wrote

Replying to nezukotanjiro150 (#656,165)

We have family that is local. We don't spend holidays with them bc it's not ok. They are hateful to my LGBT kids ( actually offered to pay for conversion therapy in fact). We don't see them, not ok for our mental health plus you don't get to be ugly to my kids ( yes I am a momma bear). Family is who you make it. We collect " family" that had no blood relation to us and those folks are welcome at our feast

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comegetit9876 t1_ixo39b9 wrote

Well said! I skipped thanksgiving this year and am glad I did

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Wmn0220 t1_ixo6mnt wrote

Read this just as I had accepted that I'm going to have to do this every year. Thank you.

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Spaghett-about-it t1_ixocphp wrote

I love my family more than anything but feel so isolated around them for no reason and I hate it. They’re amazing towards me and Idk what my issue is

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Graceless_Lady t1_ixoe2vu wrote

I'm so glad I had a legitimate excuse of a stomach bug. I didn't need it, but it made it less of a thing.

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Srsly_dang t1_ixoht1g wrote

If they're detrimental to your mental health are they actually "loved ones?"

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Lyons1013 t1_ixop8tw wrote

Replying to Pretend_Activity_211 (#654,980)

I avoided my family this year. They traveled across the country to visit their son who recently moved to the area. I've lived here 25 years,and my brother never even said he wanted to see where I lived. Now he's been here twice in 12 months to check on his kid. He still doesn't care about what I do in my life,just what his kids doing. I'm avoiding that nonsense until their kid moves back home.

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Infinite6700 t1_ixoq2vr wrote

If you don’t fuck with the situation don’t go that simple don’t be a fraud that’s some weak ass no back bone shit if you go and bitch about it there after coward shit or speak your mind in presence not a infinity diagnosis educate yourself much??🫢

−2

slanginplastic t1_ixortvh wrote

So many people need to take this to heart. I cut a lot of my family out of “special” days and they actually became special with MY family. ❤️

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gwaydms t1_ixos1e8 wrote

Replying to notenoughroomtofitmy (#656,005)

Seconding this. The family I was born into was very dysfunctional, but the family I married into, and the family we raised, is very close and loving. Our grown children live in different parts of the US, but we make time to spend together. And we traveled 1700 miles to spend Thanksgiving with our family. We're retired, so we have more time to travel.

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el-aficionado t1_ixovhre wrote

I am so thankful today for my wife’s family. Ever since we met and started dating they’ve treated me as one of their own and made me feel so loved. My own family never gave her the same courtesy and it’s really driven a wedge between us.

1

filthyymusubii t1_ixp1tvr wrote

I opted out being with in-laws today. Already saw them multiples times this week, hosting a dinner party one night, one stayed with us a couple days, and I almost went off on one two nights ago, so I knew I had to distance myself in order to stay respectful. Definitely enjoyed “me time” today to relax from that and go on a long walk at the beach. I feel fully rested to enjoy the long weekend!

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sirlongbottom441 t1_ixpk8u0 wrote

Damn this is too funny...my wife just went to her parents who are very rude/aggressive/toxic people for a quick turkey diner...didn't last an hour she came back crying cause her parents where being really rude and verbally aggressive/insulting...I've been telling here to stop seeing them for years cause how bad they are to her sometimes, but it's still family to her..just don't understand why they give her so much shit

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sirlongbottom441 t1_ixpkikc wrote

Replying to gwaydms (#660,352)

Same..my wife's is the rude aggressive ones mine are the loving caring ones...she just got in a bad argument with them tonight and finally said she's "done trying" well see how long it sticks..

but she always says how much she loves my mom and how she's treated her better than her own and made her feel like family..always says how grateful she is for my mom..and it's really made me appreciate my parent a lot more..

hope everyone has a good holiday out there! Life sucks sometimes but we should at least try to be decent to each other, especially if your family

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Gankgasm t1_ixploli wrote

Replying to johnperkins21 (#655,238)

Sometimes you do have genuine love for the people that aren’t always healthy for you. Some of my loved ones stress me out to an unhealthy level, which means no holidays together, but I have an amazing long distance relatonship with them and we always support each other.

Your comment seems a little bit more geared towards the idea that if someone is causing you pain then you need to question if you actually love that person or not which is valid but a bit different than your initial comment.

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TechnetiumAE t1_ixpr86u wrote

One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories is house sitting for my buddies family while getting all the pot I could smoke, what ever food i wanted and the Star Wars Battlefront Beta was going on.

I still remember going 42 and 3 on that beta during that weekend and it's one of my happiest moments alone. Jabba the cat and I had a killer weekend

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chaltinez t1_ixpwgn1 wrote

you’re right. imagine if your loved ones always were never content, and every time you hung out with them they always want something. sucks to think that you will always have to take care of them for whatever reason. fuck the holidays.

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Harlequins-Joker t1_ixpxaz4 wrote

Sitting here all teary after cancelling our Christmas trip with our 15mo & 4mo to see my parents/my side of the family interstate… I feel like after three decades of bs I finally just snapped and don’t want to put up with the toxicity/bullying… they’ve made my life hell and are the cause of a lot of my trauma… I refuse to subject my children to seeing it/becoming potential victims of it… just feeling a bit sad though still

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TheAdoredMishap t1_ixpxdy8 wrote

I hate family gatherings. I just want to be left alone.

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FiveHoleFrenzy t1_ixq3r76 wrote

Best PLT ever! Don’t just apply this to holidays… apply this to your whole life… I stopped succumbing to seeing them out of a sense of obligation or guilt years ago, and those have been the happiest years of my life!

1

sardonic_balls t1_ixsgv9e wrote

Replying to ForceOfAHorse (#669,139)

Are you able to not interact with your significant others' family at all, ever, if you so choose? With zero negative impact or feedback from your spouse?

Point is, you will have to deal with your married partner's family... in some way or another, whether you like it or not, for as long as you're married to that person.

You may not have to sleep with them, but there you go.

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ForceOfAHorse t1_ixtw8fh wrote

Replying to sardonic_balls (#675,764)

Yes, I am able to choose whether I like to go to a family gathering with her folks or not. It's not even that her family is crazy or something. It's mostly fine, but sometimes I just don't want to spend time with people who are boring just for the sake of sitting together for few hours. And she supports my choice to not go, because that's what loving partner do.

We do things we both like together. We do things only one of us want separately. Frankly, talking about marriage in terms of "sacrifices to keep he peace" is something I'll never do. What's the point of being married to somebody if you then live like that? What kind of partner would deliberately put their significant one through a miserable experience?

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