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This is incredibly obnoxious.

I’d block your number and purposely ignore you in real life if you ever texted me to tell me when my friend’s or family member’s birthday is.

>The older you get, the more YOU have to advertise it’s YOUR birthday.

But why should I remind people its my birthday?

My close friends and family dont need to be reminded its my birthday because they know, just like how I know when theirs' are.

Or, as you grow up, quit caring who tells you happy birthday or not.

Wow, that’s a pretty overwhelming response to someone who’s trying to be kind.

I realize that some days/weeks/years I just got too much happening to keep up with birthdays enough to even remember a text, even the people I care about the most. And other times, I’m locked and loaded with a gift ready for the mail a month or two out. So, if I do or don’t get my own birthday acknowledged by any particular person, I keep things in perspective. I’d never want someone to presume I don’t care, if my brain is too stuck in a blender at any given point. So I extend that understanding to others.

Definitely do this though, you'd be doing your friends a favor.

🙄

If you were my partner/ friend and you did that to me... Can't say I'd be best pleased - it's embarrassing and cringey too. On a personal level for myself my birthday is no longer my birthday as my dad's memorial Day falls 11 days before my birthday and my mum's memorial Day IS the same day as my birthday, so yeh

Well my friends aren’t insecure weirdos. We manage to celebrate birthdays just fine without SO/spouses running interference.

I forget my own birthday. I live every day trying to be the best i can and have as much fun while doing so. Whats different about that day?

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I stopped caring about birthdays at like 15-16. How do grown ass people care about it. Its just a day like any other

I bake several cakes for my birthday and ask a few friends beforehand if they have time for coffee and cake in the afternoon. I am happy if people call, but I don’t mind if they don’t, as long as a couple of people show up to share my cake.

It's just a heads up people get busy and forget sometimes

Don't most people that care about stuff like this have some sort of social media reminder?

Honestly I hate when people tell me to wish someone a happy birthday. But that may just be because my mom loved to control my life, even with just that.

Narcissism…

I don't care that much about my birthday, but I also learned that people who actually care about me will probably say or do something. Reminding them could help, tho, because although some people care, they might forget.

I don't even care about my own birthday

Exactly, or obviously realize the people you have to remind simply don’t care.

I gave up my birthday when my son decided to enter this world on my 21st birthday.

Your wife needs to grow the fuck up and quit worrying about trivial shit. Be an adult and don’t worry about who wishes her happy birthday.

What’s even worse is the adults in their 20s and 30s claiming it’s their ‘birthday month.’ Yeah, you and approximately 1/12 of the entire world’s population.

Seems like most people are anti this but I enjoy the tactic. I’m good friends with all my wife’s girlfriends and mine it’s the day after. Thank you for the idea :)

It’s cringey as fuck. Also reeks of desperation.

It's the same thing people use Facebook for nowadays

I hate that sooo much! "Don't forget to wish your Dad Happy Birthday!" as if I haven't known when his birthday is for the last 20 years. 😪

1. I don’t care a ton who wishes me a happy birthday
2. If someone is only wishing me a happy birthday because my wife reminded them, that wouldn’t be meaningful
3. If all of my friends, family, acquaintances are reminded each year, I will never know which ones actually cared enough about me to remember

I get how it can be a kind thing to do, but as someone who values more genuine relationships, I would not be a fan.

Except it’s a spouse calling and telling people to wish her a happy birthday. If they have a shit, then they’d remember it. I’d be absolutely embarrassed if I found out my wife did this. We’re adults now… we should act like it.

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Yeah. I fundamentally don't understand adults who make a big deal about their own birthdays.

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Little can make you cringe like a 40 year old advertising their birthday week

Based on most comments in this thread…

Real LPT: people don’t care about their own birthday. Everyday is special day if you carpe diem.

Well intended, but very manipulative and denigrating too imo. I would be really angry if I’d found out my partner did this behind my back.

no, a good deal of the population were raised pre social media so don't live on those platforms and likely have notifications turned off for those things

I'm older than social media...

Samesies, wasn't meaning you specifically, but most of my network have notifications turned off for all socials with at least 30% having fully deleted their FB pages.

Why the hell are people on here so negative about birthdays lmao. I like when people wish me HBD, and I enjoy telling others HBD on theirs. I put reminders in my phone so I never forget. I think life should be celebrated.

I ALWAYS have to remind my brother of our parents birthdays because he's so forgetful.

This dude is just bitter as all hell

OP is overstepping and that is confirmed by them saying that the people they text shouldn’t bring that up.

Grrrrr were adults we need to fucking act like it if I found out my wife cared about me enough to try to make my day better I'm be embarrassed. Go back to Frisbee golf and weed atleast you look happy there

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He’s not forgetful, he just doesn’t care.

(Him having a TBI or other medical condition that effects memory would be the exception)

.... What's the other thing?

I think it’s sweet that you do this for your wife.

I also thing lots of people care less about their birthdays as they age or want to avoid and fuss about it all together. I’m in my 40s and I only have a few friends who genuinely still care about their birthdays but it’s more about wanting attention than anything else.

I agree with you, really don't want too much attention on my bday, for the most part I'm in the "it's just another day" group. But my girlfriend, and some other friends of mine still love to have people wish them a happy one, doesn't have anything to do with growing up I'd say.

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Pretty sure a good amount of ppl don't even like their birthday because (might differ based on culture) you're expected to throw a party, bring cake or smth to work, maybe even invite all your closest family and/or friends to dinner and pay for it etc. So yeah I don't really like my birthday.

As someone with ADHD I forget to message people even if I know their birthdays, so reminders are always nice

Yep. My bestie has ADHD and always forgets, but I know he cares, so I just drop a hint. lol

once your burning the candles at both ends trying to survive day in day out, whether someone acknowledges your bday is right down the bottom of the important list I'm afraid.

I don’t have to do shit op

Oof. I’ve never had to be the one buying my own cake for me office birthday or birthday with friends. Same thing with footing the bill for birthday dinner as well. Usually my friends are wanting to treat me or get me drinks. If I’m inviting everyone over then ya I’m probably footing the bill, or someone usually offers to bring sides or grab some pizzas for the party.

FINALLY A GOOD LPT

Yes, and frankly, you are responsible for planning your birthday, or at the very least outsourcing and directing it.

"I turn 30 soon! I want to be surprised!" Is ambiguous and puts ALL the pressure on your SO or friends.

"I turn 30 soon! Hey, let's get 10 of us together and go to Oktoberfest to celebrate, it's about the same time as my birthday, and I think we can get everything together in 8 months. Passports for everyone first!" <-- This is a good fucking birthday preamble.

Yes. I text all our adult children and remind them of my spouse's birthday. It's so cute to see how happy the calls and greetings make him.

Tbh we don’t make that big of a deal about birthdays anymore (early - mid 30s). It’s really not a special day lol. And the idea of getting upset over people not remembering it is weird to me

We will maybe have a nice dinner and buy something we’ve been wanting

This is weird no matter how I look at it.

I loathe those reminder texts. Don't be like those people. Birthdays are only a big deal to literal children.

I'm from a big family, and I text my younger brothers in the morning on birthdays for our other siblings, brother in laws, and nieces and nephews.

Some people care a lot and are just bad with dates. It's nice to hear from them even if they needed a reminder.

I was born on Xmas Eve so people who I don't hear from very often remember my birthday and wish me well. It's honestly really nice because the day can often feel really overshadowed by the holiday.

This is one of the main reasons I deactivated my Facebook lol, I DON’T care about this stuff so I always hated the awkward birthday posts from people I haven’t seen in years and will likely never see in person again. Even when I hid my birthday from being public, I’d still have some family who knew and would post on my wall anyways, which then remind others and lead to these obligatory posts.

Eh, some people are really bad with dates. Maybe it shows he doesn’t care about birthdays, but to assume that means he doesn’t care about his parents at all would be an insane reach when we have so little context about these people…

I make a point call my parents on MY (46F) birthday. I know they want to talk to me on my actual birthday, but if put it on them, they may forget and then be mildly upset. I have made it my tradition, and informed my three children of this expectation. They all (18F, 17M, 13M) have a phone alarm to at least message me on "their day".

I invite you to start caring about your birthday and celebrate it more . . . Remember that it’s always better to have another birthday than NOT have another birthday. So celebrate each one.

Yeah man, you don't know my family. Enjoy being bitter and pessimistic.

That seems like super annoying..

And if they dont show, you get loads more cake. Sounds like a win win.

But it doesn't sound like your wife told anyone that it was ber birthday. You did all the advertising for her.

I'm trying really hard to let my birthday just pass by unnoticed. I'd be happy if I could just be left alone and have a day without anyone mentioning it.

Birthdays were fun as a kid because they often had some priviledge or life event tied to them. As an adult that doesn't happen anymore and I don't get any sort of emotional charge from people making a fuss over me. Most years I have to be reminded I have a birthday coming up.

I'm in my 30s and at least half of my friend group likes to have a birthday party for themselves. It's not some narcissitic thing that half of the commentors here think it is though.

Loving yourself is as important as loving others, if you have ever felt inclined to throw a loved one a birthday party, why shouldn't you throw one for yourself? I just see it as one day a year where you can be surrounded by some of your loved ones on your own terms and remind yourself that you are loved and create some lasting memories.

Almost everyone in my friend group loves when anyone else has a birthday party and we all take pleasure in making our friends birthdays memorable and meaningful.

I agree 100%.

My mother-in-law reminds both me and my husband every time a family member's birthday comes-up. We have it as a repeat event on our shared calendar so we already know about it and guess what...if we forget to tell them "happy birthday" then we forget. It's not a big deal.

But the fact that it seems so important that she feels the need to give us a personal reminder for it makes it feel like an obligation at that point. As a result, a bunch of the family members get weird about "happy birthdays". Meanwhile for both my husband and I we really don't care about getting all of those messages. When anyone says something like "I'm so sorry I'm late in telling you happy birthday!" we always tell them that it doesn't matter and that it's perfectly fine.

In this day and age you can and should plug the birthdays of anyone you care about into your phone's calendar.

I added all family birthdays and anniversaries to my Google calendar a couple years ago. Only had to add once set to repeat annually. Definitely feels good to be reminded and have a reason to reach out to old friends yearly.

Yesssssss. I get reminders from family to tell someone happy birthday when I was already going to, lol. I never say "I know" so that I don't sound rude but it's every single time. It feels like it was my idea originally but after "needing" a reminder, it ends up feeling like I'm doing it because someone told me to.

Disagree. This depends on the person. I stopped caring about my birthday since I was 17. Maybe earlier. Only at 17 did I realize that all I cared for then was how many people greeted me on Social Media or SMS. Didn't matter who. Stopped celebrating after 17 lol

Nah if someone wants to remember something they will.

Every person I’ve ever met who “can’t remember” birthdays, anniversaries, etc has been a selfish jackhole.

Yeah man, not my fault you offered up a shitty example of your brother. Enjoy!

Yea, just google narcissism and birthdays and you'll find that there's a significant pattern.

Birthdays go from being an opportunity to spend time with your friends and family to making every little bit of the day about you and it being PERFECT. It also seems like narcissists tend to use their birthdays to get away with even worse selfish behavior than normal because it's their "special day".

Isn't it rude to call people and tell them to wish someone a happy birthday ? To me it is.

Furthermore, if I can't bother to remember someone's birthday, it means that they don't mean much to me. Are they truly such good friends if they can't remember your birthday ?

And yes, I remember ALL birthday dates of the people that I care about. It's not hard to remember when they mean a lot to you.

Or just get over it and realize that you’re an adult and nobody cares and it doesn’t matter

I put important birthdays in my calendar so I never forget

I cant remember the last time I heard it.

“Don’t forget about me.”

you sound annoying

Lol I get this feeling a lot too, or even when someone wishes a person on the group chat before I've done it personally, then it just feels like I'm doing it because they did it

Some people care and that’s ok.

Man, I actually checked your comment history. You might be the most negative person I've come into contact with. Yikes, bye.

As usual, the real Pro Tips are in the comments. This is the correct answer.

Honestly, fuck birthdays. I attend my SO’s and really close family. I dread my birthdays and never congratulate unless someone is in my presence and it’s out of curtesy.

Yeah I think that’s what most folks do now, that’s how a majority of my friends and family manage birthdays, through reminders on Facebook. That said, I think it’s a vapid, empty gesture and if someone knows me enough to know when my birthday is then they’ll know it without FB informing them, which is why I removed my birthday from my profile.

I take the remains to work the next day so that I don’t eat too much within too short a time. My colleagues are fast to finish it all, no matter how much I bring.

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I’d be mortified if my husband texted friends and family to “remind” them it’s my birthday. A coworker did it once to a random group of other coworkers and I was pissed. I was turning 40-something, not 4 and it made me feel infantilized.

That sounds like a lot of work.

For my last birthday I went to a pub with my gf, we ate dinner, drank a pint and went home. It was the best, coziest, easiest to plan birthday ever.

When I get a new calendar I transfer everything over from the old one, this helps and gets better each year. Yeah I also use Google calendar lol but I find the manual one in my kitchen is what I look at for personal reminders

For a month beforehand

The older I get, the more annoyed at birthdays I am. Sure, throw a party, that’s great. But don’t expect a day off, or to get out of a major commitment just because it’s your significant other’s birthday, or any other perks. Birthdays are for kids. I’d like to slide through mine unnoticed.

For real. Who the fuck cares let alone is putting this on a life pro tip. Cmon

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