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spydersens t1_jcltmqh wrote

Reply to comment by DueAdhesiveness1229 in LPT Request: How to deal with loneliness? by Cevoz

That's a bit on the strong side and isolationism for many has its very definite drawbacks. As gregarious beings it's ok for many to feel a need for community.

If one of those friends feels close enough to express these feelings too, do so. Tell them that you enjoy their company and that you'd appreciate them calling you some time. Some people aren't inclined to call and that's just it.

You have to maybe also broaden your circle by finding other board game aficionados or by engaging in other group activities. I often felt as you did, while being the one who himself called to know what was up without really ever organizing anything. But I was always part of a bunch of group activities that led to other activities and being invited to parties and even Xmas. Lots of those people I don't see anymore and it's ok.

You have to realize that people are bustling a lot more than they were in their little villages 500 years ago. Find a place or thing you like and you will find more like minded people.

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DueAdhesiveness1229 t1_jcm50b2 wrote

Your derangements are beyond my area of interest and I do rather let whoever falls for the trap of neurotypical mindframes end up suffering its obvious dangers on their own after rejecting my advice. Feel dismissed.

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spydersens t1_jcm6txt wrote

You don't absolutely need to commune regularly, but don't answer his query by you being the one to reject his needs. It's ok to be a loner just as it is to be community oriented. You know nothing about neurotypical mindframes if you are assuming that what that person needs is what works for you. Autism for one can make you diverge strongly and it's ok; just dont' assume the that path those divergences are taking are all the same.

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DueAdhesiveness1229 t1_jcq29kp wrote

To call this a need is to foment a mental disease. Thanks for devaluating your entire posting by showing open contradictions

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spydersens t1_jcrsdh4 wrote

Anytime. Thanks for pretend to be some type of robotic grim reaper to protect your insecurities from anything that you might have to show you care for and risk having your ego bruised.

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DueAdhesiveness1229 t1_jcswj09 wrote

It is affordable! And it is obvious I want to protect my soul from that For the pointless joy I might ever extract from this is never matching how filthy and weak I feel after rejection/efforts for such immature cause.

It's like presenting pigs with diamonds. Just for being clingy and needy, a hunger which never satiates

But if so you insightful you are, you can surely keep further on which my insecurities are. I am almost proud of them anyways. At least enough to feel lucky about not suffering your condition

By the way, thanks for the "grim reaper" compliment. Actually having a strong position of Pluto in my chart when born seems to show this feature as properly paying off. This is: I actually am sort of a grim reaper ^^

It's not that hard if you put some will on it.

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spydersens t1_jcuexpv wrote

The idea here is that you are only playing the losing side by trying to avoid rejection. I rode with that crowd for a while; dressing up in black to seem dark and dangerous. You can't hide in plain sight. You inevitably just meet like minded people who are dark or are stark and alone. Either way camping a joyous or bleak position is unrealistic; just go with the flow. Sometimes people will break your heart or disagree and sometimes they'll feed your endeavors and validate your ideas, it's a crazy world.

Meanwhile you say that you want to be alone while chatting through your computer, so you seek some type of validation even for your sensibilities about it being good to be a loner in order to isolate yourself from random outcomes. Our conversation hasn't exactly gone the way you expected it and you still bravely pursued the discussion. So why not face that challenge in person with people? Not all of them are out to judge you; we just disagree and do what's best for us sometimes. Without having you sacrifice anything major, I hope that you feel less isolated in time. We speak the same language, we have the same challenges as a species, you'd be surprised how few people get by on their own. Challenges everywhere, including the challenge of perspective and meeting others half-way. Take care.

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