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Since you're going to have a debilitating stroke when you are 57, just try and remember that you are going to be just like the person that is annoying you but much, much worse

Individual therapy.

Weed. And stop giving a fuck. It is, what it is!

Dab pens are the way 🤣

Practice empathy.

If someone is annoying you, try to think of the best reason they could have for acting the way they do, and behave as if it were fact. Being cruel to people will never earn you favors, while an act of kindness can endear you to someone for a lifetime.

Try to remember a little gratitude about how fortunate you are to be quick and able to do tasks quickly. Not everyone is as lucky.

Why?

A simple question to ask yourself.

Why does someone talking slowly bothering you? Why does hearing the same story need to be an important factor in your mind? Why are you giving someone chewing their food loudly enough attention to let it wind you up.

Listen to David Foster Wallace's commencement speech to Kenyon College. You can find it online/YouTube. It helps me a lot with similar stuff in my head.

Have you tried meditation?

Holup. Gotta stop you on the last one. I know I'm not the only one who has a visceral, uncontrollable reaction to the sound of mouth parts working food loudly. It's not something I choose to acknowledge, it's that I literally cannot NOT acknowledge it when it's happening. Its a super shitty thing to experience.

My mom told me a good anecdote that helps with patience: a person on the road is driving like an asshole, cuts you off. You get them to pull over and go up to give them a piece of your mind when you see a baby in the back screaming its head off and you can clearly see the parent is tired and out of patience. The parent couldn't take it out on the baby and didn't have time to pull over, so took their frustration out on the road.

I always ask myself "what's an understandable reason for that person's behavior?"

Biggest thing I've learned is that you can't hold anyone else to your own standards because nobody is ever going to live up to them. It is an exercise in maximum frustration. Just worry about your own stuff and relax.

Understand that you aren’t the main character in life. It’s that simple. Time doesn’t bend to your will. I bet you drive to closely to the cars in front of you too right?

Just relax. There’s no end to the race of life other than death. So slow down and breathe.

Also think of all the great advice you’ve missed being impatient.

A bunch of things can help.

Reduce the shit that amps you up all the time or makes you irritable. Coffee. Sugar. Nicotine/drugs. Lack of exercise. Lack of personal time or focus or meditation or whatever. Deal with the stressors outside of the person. Because that's stuff you'll want to take out on others and dislike them for little things that ultimately don't matter. Because really, so what if someone talks slow or is slow. You get your shit done, you don't have to live in comparisons, and that slow talker isn't taking away some precious seconds that you're losing doing other things. Those seconds in that context are almost never that essential.

The other part is just taking a moment to stop making things about how you feel or how you feel wronged or afflicted or that it's an affront to you. They're allowed to have their stories and their existence and they're not to be controlled to fit your speed of things. Sometimes you want to just consume shit fast because your brain moves fast or whatever. But people aren't TikTok. They're people. You can't just swipe them away. I mean, you can. But what a lonely and unappreciative life. Computers work fast. People comparatively never will. And imagine people rushing you when you're sharing things that are meaningful. "Eugene, I'm happy to be marrying you today. From the moment I first laid eyes on you on our first date in..." "Ugh, get to the point. Come on, pick it up." Yeah, that's a quick way to get people to shut down and never want to share with you.

Another part is having some patience and grace and understanding for the things that make other people different from you. Some people learn slower, process slower, get confused. You just don't know their stories. Maybe they lack some self awareness. You don't know the context of people. You might feel powerful being like, "I talk fast and they don't. Ugh, these slow people just can't keep up with me." Well here's some stuff to make you feel like shit. What if they're neurodivergent or mentally handicapped or had a stroke or a developmental disability or are dealing with grief and trauma at home and are overwhelmed easily. Now you feel like a complete piece of shit for thinking these things, right? Think about how that would look to others. Now know that that doesn't matter. That's all the ego being fed and the ego will never be satisfied if that's all you feed. But what's important to understand is that you don't know people.

What if you think you're so awesome compared to them because they can't keep up with you. And it turns out they're musical geniuses or a great parent or an exceptional athlete or volunteer with those in need. It's just their mental resources for this one thing you don't like are being expended elsewhere in something that makes them brilliant.

Sometimes it's that you're only focusing on a small part of people's humanity. They exist in a totality. And that's why it's important to have a patience for a lot of people. Because there's more to people than just what you see that frustrates you or not, and you can start to develop an appreciation for people and what they bring to the world as a whole rather than just seeing them as a function to your story or to fixate on the small parts.

Also, it's okay to feel how you feel. If you're irritated, you're irritated. What's not cool is being a dick about it. But it's okay to feel these things. You can reflect on why. You can even choose how to let things hit you. Maybe you make a choice to be amused and to reframe it that way. Maybe it's a fun game when you hear the story point repeated twice. Maybe it's something that's endearing that they're slow or deliberate. Maybe you just accept that some people do things slow and others quick.

I'll say this of workplace optics. I used to track my employees productivity every day. And the people I saw at their desks the least were the ones who did the most work. The one guy who looked like a snail was just so consistent and focused that he burned through his work more than everyone else. So yeah, it doesn't matter what I saw. If I went off that, I know it'd be my ego projecting rather than hearing people for who they are.

Anyway, hit some mindfulness, hit some meditation. Practice grace and empathy and patience. Shit's not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things and I say that not to diminish or dismiss, but to encourage you to see that as a freedom to let things go that don't matter and not to sweat the stuff that's small

How do you react to those situations?

Most of anger comes from expectations – – subconsciously or consciously you are assuming that people have in their pocket a book of rules that you wrote for the whole world, and they are disappointing and frustrating you by violating your rules.

Yes. You never know what is going on in someone’s life or with their health. Assume they have a good reason for whatever they are doing. You will never be sorry for doing that. If you are mean to someone and then find out what is going on with them, then you will feel horrible.

Yeah, counseling helps you understand what makes you tick and how to cope. Understanding your personality type is big too.

My word

Workout. No one can take that away from you, the progress and overall good feeling of exhaustion should sap away the extra aggression. Also weed.

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Oh I love this anecdote

There’s alot of great advice here, especially around empathy and therapy. I would also say try to check in with yourself when you get stuck on frustration over the exterior; for instance, as some said nicotine addiction can be a cause, anger can also be caused by physical (hunger) or mental cues (anxiety/overthinking over “wasted time” etc.). Also, alot of times anger or frustration stems from an idealistic view on life; like getting annoying at traffic when you know it’s normal for traffic during the rush hour etc

For every thing in life, there is always someone who is better and worse at it than you. If you think you’re fast doing a task, there’s always someone who can perform that same task faster, and you will be very slow to them. Would you like them to be inpatient and angry at you for being slow?

Nah. All of these don't get you where you want. Tell the person on the other side, "Dan, because I care about your time and mine, I'm going to need you to get to the point. I'm becoming fatigued in this conversation and I don't want to be because I like talking with you. Please adjust your communication approach with me to ensure I remain engaged." Most likely this will get you 90% closer. From there, listen to the other comments.

First thing that came to mind is meditation and excercise. This will fix mood swings, anxiety as a general rule, BUT the things you get angry at are very little forgivable things, you might have other issues as well. I'd advice you see a psychologist, figure out why you get angry and then try to fix it.

Seems like you have an obsession with efficiency. Try doing some tasks in an inefficient way. Does doing things inefficiently cause negative self talk? Or does that make someone in your life mad at you? Remind yourself that kindness and grace matter more than efficiency. In an emergency efficiency is more important than kindness and grace but most days you need to let go of efficiency and just enjoy your life.

You don't know that person's history, health/mental conditions or disability.

Afford the same grace and respect you would expect people to give your vulnerable loved ones.

I love that answer, thank you!