Will I live to be 75

Submitted by CYOA_With_Hitler t3_10mywjq in Jokes

So I went to see my new primary care doctor and he tells me I'm doing 'fairly well' for my age.

I'm like, 'Okay, but am I gonna make it to 75?'

And he's like, 'Well, do you smoke, drink, or do drugs?'

So I'm like, 'No, no, and no.'

Then he goes, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'

And I'm like, 'Not really, my old doctor said red meat was bad for me.'

He's like, 'Alright, do you spend a lot of time in the sun, playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or biking?'

And I'm like, 'No, not really.'

And finally he goes, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

And I'm like, 'No, no, and no.'

And he looks at me and goes, 'Well then, why the hell do you even care if you make it to 75?'

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Comments

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__DR_WORM_666 t1_j66q29r wrote

Eating healthy, not drinking, exorcising doesn't make you live longer, it makes life seem longer

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Training-Accident-36 t1_j67oq7b wrote

Especially the daily exorcisms. Man I hate those.

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gebrayel1985 t1_j683hz0 wrote

U have to turn it into a habit. Ar first it's difficult, but me for exemple, every morning I wake up, have my coffee, meditate, exorcise a random young girl, have a French croissant au Chocolat and go to work

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powkiddyv90dangit t1_j66tiec wrote

i want to shake that doctor's hand

it's hard to find one that's honest in today's day and age

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Glibvanadium17 t1_j6604fl wrote

This was more of an inspirational anecdote than a joke, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

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murphanduncas t1_j68mn70 wrote

Even if you abstain from all this stuff, sooner or later you'll be lying on your death bed dying of nothing.

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hye4fgh t1_j6a73l8 wrote

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

Hunter S. Thompson

6

EarthToAccess t1_j6awi3i wrote

“Would you rather live in peace as Mr. Nobody, die ripe, old and smellin' slightly of urine? Or go down for all times in a glaze of glory, smellin' near like posies, ‘thout seein' your thirtieth?” - Dexter DeShawn, Cyberpunk 2077

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Ok_Camp598 t1_j68nddh wrote

Twain had a similar but funnier joke.

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_drimzy t1_j6a6kdn wrote

I am the same way and even making 40 seems so hard!

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CYOA_With_Hitler OP t1_j6a6v5w wrote

Don't worry after you've done the fun things a lot they aren't fun any more

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GIANTBABOON t1_j6ereel wrote

"every non smoking vegetarian...still dies."

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n21lv t1_j685c92 wrote

This boomer joke can be easily turned into a modern one. Just add this line:
"I want to play every single game in my Steam library"

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