This is actually pretty good.

Get in ma belly!

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Careful with that joke, it’s an antique.

HEY! As a Scotsman, I feel the need to point out that it’s the WELSH who fuck sheep. We just get drunk and beat each other

coughs Aberdeen

What does get off my cloud mean?

Just like the old joke goes: The Welsh created condoms by using sheep guts.

The English improved the idea by taking them out of the sheep first.

I agree. I found this rather humorous too.

It's a line from a Rolling Stones song.

Heard the same thing but NZ

English tell these week jokes because they are jealous of Scottish cattle. They remind them of their wives and girlfriends only with sweeter dispositions and better teeth. (I am of English, Irish, Scottish and German decent, so don't bother.)

Thank you for this, this was one of my dad's favorite jokes, and I had completely forgotten about it, you just brought back some nice memories

Yell freedom

I heard it from Method Man lol.

Show us you're a septic with shit jokes without saying it.

[removed]

A Englishman, a Irishman, and a Scotsman sit down at the bar and order a beer. The barkeep sets a draft in front of each and three flies land, one sitting atop each pint.

The Englishman sees the fly, pushes away the glass, and says "I can't drink this, it's been contaminated."

The Irishman flicks the fly off the top of his beer and drinks half the pint in one swallow.

The Scotsman picks up the fly from his beer and shouts at it, "Spit it out, spit it out you bastard!"

I’m half Irish and Half Scottish. I want a drink but I don’t want to pay for it. What’s the difference between an Irish funeral and wedding? One less drunk.