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stevedaher t1_j4zuz1q wrote

Im not sure if that’s better or worse than the usual “I buy sex” punchline..

2

RibaldPancake t1_j4zvfxk wrote

Not sure if that’s better or worse than being bye sexual.

10

ephmal t1_j4zvsov wrote

My wife and I have hallway sex. We pass in the hallways and yell fuck off at each other.

82

timbus1234 t1_j4zwij0 wrote

im pansexual, i had sex with a pan

33

stampcoin t1_j4zx3kq wrote

I'm not bisexual. I've only had sex once

4

WaynegoSMASH728 t1_j4zz7j9 wrote

I once knew a guy who was so dumb. He thought Bisexual meant you went out and paid for it.

219

DerRaumdenker t1_j501x2q wrote

My wife and I have sex almost every day, almost on Monday almost on Tuesday...

69

willbeonekenobi t1_j5037az wrote

I once asked my wife why doesn't she scream my name when she climaxes like I do with her. She told me she doesn't want to bother me when I am at work and might be a bit weird if she is with someone who doesn't share my name.

23

Tymskyy t1_j506ioa wrote

There are only two sexes:the one I had with your mom and the one I had with your dad

6

reikutohno t1_j50d567 wrote

If three people involved is a threesome then I'm handsome.

125

wigzell78 t1_j50dh7b wrote

My sex-life is best described as tri-weekly.

Damn auto-correct. I meant try weakly

35

fredg78731 t1_j50lbof wrote

Bisexuals double their chances for a date.

2

Nuclear-Redneck t1_j50mfrm wrote

I had oral sex with a girl this morning. She yelled "fuck you!" and I yelled "fuck you too!"

3

Upst8r t1_j50ofv9 wrote

I had a sex change.

I use my left hand.

13

Agent101g t1_j515xbp wrote

I’ve learned from this sub that 95% of classic jokes are based on targeting persecuted minorities. I still laugh at jokes but it is depressing I’m “not gonna lie”.

−1

2723brad2723 t1_j518jgu wrote

I'm buysexual. I can only get laid if I pay for it.

1

andywalker76 t1_j51aasr wrote

I'm trisexual.........

I'll try to fuck anything........

2

Mr-mgoo t1_j51cacp wrote

I'm bisexual, if I can't get sex I buy it.

2

BallKey7607 t1_j51fonp wrote

Plot twist: Once with a man, Once with a women

3

GeniusMike t1_j51sbg1 wrote

That’s probably twice more than most Redditors

9

upmxna t1_j524st9 wrote

Replying to No-Orchid5378 (#1,409,767)

I would start with going to the gym. Eat better (diet is HUGE). Get fit. Even if your face is ugly, a ripped body will massively improve your prospects, along with your confidence (which will improve your prospects even more).

Wear unwrinkled clothes. Shower every day and keep your facial hair groomed neatly. Find a nice fragrance. Women LOVE that shit!

Am I following any of this advice for myself? NO

12

Dizz2K7 t1_j52cfjo wrote

I'm bisexual, too. Problem is, I'm broke.

3

NDodma01 t1_j52d1ol wrote

That’s nothing. I know someone who’s trisexual.

1

upmxna t1_j52if24 wrote

Replying to No-Orchid5378 (#1,410,756)

But you didn’t include the marriage part of the original “joke,” which is essential to the punchline.

A better delivery of that joke would’ve been:

Some of us can’t get any; we’re called “husbands.”

2

Downtown-Custard5346 t1_j52ijz7 wrote

Someone called me bisexual once, I reminded them I'm trisexual, I'll try anything

5

Babyhal1956 t1_j52n8d0 wrote

Replying to No-Orchid5378 (#1,410,149)

You know why condoms are sold in 3 packs, six pack and 12 packs? 3 packs for high school kids (1 each for Friday Saturday and Sunday) 6 packs are for college kids (1 for each day of the week then they catch up their homework on Sunday), 12 packs are for married guys (1 for January, 1 for February…)

15

mugsy1j t1_j52nr2m wrote

I'm ambidextrous... so I guess that makes me bisexual also....

2

Baganthaal t1_j52qvuv wrote

Buy me something and I'll get sexual...

I know, it's an old one...

1

DeScamp t1_j52tltz wrote

You mean with somebody else, right?

3

coloa t1_j52vukt wrote

And I'm trisexual

1

danorcs t1_j53cwap wrote

So good for you. I’m trisexual.

I’ll try anything sexual

1

Crew_Doyle_ t1_j544lai wrote

A mate announced in the pub that his new girlfriend was bi ,,,

Came in the next day with a black eye.

turns out she's bi-polar....

3

Ok_Climate_9254 t1_j5458mq wrote

You should become buysexual and get some numbers on the board.

1

hollandrisley t1_j54rq2h wrote

What do you call a Lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapuss.

3

mikedjb t1_j54tig2 wrote

I’m trisexual. I’ll try anything

1

1Flashfry1 t1_j54zusl wrote

I’m buy-sexual, I have to buy my sex

1

[deleted] t1_j55c15s wrote

I'm homosexual

I only have sex at home.

4