They probably thought the taxi driver was going to give you a blow job lol !!!

That is in fact the joke. Good job.

Reminds me of the time I itch a ride with a truck Driver. He had a small monkey and said " watch this" and he slapped the chimp behind the head and it started to give him a blowjob. He then ask me if I wanted to try it. I said ok but dont slap me too hard.

🤦

r/thatsthejoke

Sshh. The only advantage we have over AI is our sense of humour

LOL first time I’ve heard this.

I’d like to see a modern version of ‘Taxi Driver’ where he’s an Uber driver and Iris has an onlyfans account

r/woooosh

I think the funniest bit was the taxi driver who said "I'm not having any of that".

New here?

Read this here recently but it was better written because it gave a revenge motive up front.

You said "the queue at the taxi rank". Then you said "$5".

Where is this taking place?

A lot of places have a designated area where licensed taxis must wait in line to pick up passengers. If you want a taxi, you go to the area and go to the taxi at the front of the line.

It's obviously the United Kingdoms of America!

So old!!!

taxi queue is common in NYC.

You like that? What kind of guy are you are?

I don't get it

Best one was from Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back when the hitchhiker gets in the truck lol

Basically, all the other drivers he did ask about the blowjob will think the taxi driver he left with accepted the offer.

😟

I think this would work better as a skit than a written joke

What offer? This joke, as written, is not funny.

I think it's the price tag he's objecting to, not the taxi stand!

George Carlin

"If it gets me a few miles down the road, I'll take a shot in the mouth"

Hush. Don't give up the secret. He will tell his friends

I think the commenter meant that in America most people would call it a line rather than a queue.

Could be Singapore, they use both queue and $

Pretty sure it's the fact that dollars are American currency, but "queue" isn't commonly used in American English. We don't believe in putting that many silent letters in a word.

That might explain the $5 to the station !

I actually tried this, but the first cab driver said five dollars which was already in my hand, so how can I refuse?

Lmao, yeah he didn't actually say no. He could've been talking about the money

The United State of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Your father.

Possibly a guy that likes blowjobs. I hear they’re not that uncommon in 2023.

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Sounds like a Benny Hill skit

when is this taking place?

Are you looking at me?

BJs in Singapore cost way more than $5.

I guess none of y’all have heard of the cinco urinal shower

Australia? New Zealand?

Gave me a good chuckle.

We just pronounce it "kway-way"

TIL

Yes but we say line

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I saw that video on xnxx.com

It does because it’s actually a movie scene from a German movie called Keinohrhase

Toronto?

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"Gay, straight, it's all the same these days"

Bro job. Choo choo

I like how this is more of a practical joke / prank. Reminds me of this:

You walk into a random store and act all excited. You ask someone: ‘Quick, what year is it?!’ They say: ‘Ehmm 2023, why?’ And then you just run out of the store screaming: ‘It worked! It worked! I can’t believe it fucking worked!’

Maybe wear some 80s clothes for a real Back to the future vibe

That's how much it cost to get to the station

As a dude I thought the joke teller was a lady, figured it out towards the end.

Dollars aren’t just American lots of countries use dollars to name their currency.

I thought this was r/pettyrevenge for a second

This would make a great skit. I can just imagine the shit eating grin on the guys face.

You textin to me?!

I know this joke as a sketch when you ask the last driver in line to honk and wave at the other drivers (maybe pay him some more money for that)

I thought this joke may be better than ops but I must inform you that chimps are not monkeys. It saddens me to see them referred as such and it is my mission in life to inform all of this important fact.

Clearly Australian

$40 but it's gonna be Indonesian

20 dollar = 20 dollar

Literally almost any major train station in the US ^^^

Dollars are not American.currency only though it's used in many places. More importantly nobody said dollar in the joke, they used the symbol $. This symbol does not mean dollar exclusively (let alone US dollar) but is used for other currencies as well.

It's taking place in ancient joke land.

I guess you think you're smart, but this question shows your ignorance. The symbol $ is used in many places. The symbol $ does not mean dollar. The symbol $ absolutely does not mean US dollar.

The word queu is an English word, not commonly used in the USA but used in countries that use $ as their currency symbol.

Most importantly, many countries that use $ as their currency symbol do not have English as their first language. This could well be translated.

In England "I'm not having any of that" essentially means "I've had enough of this behaviour" so they're angry and are insulted. It absolutely means a strong no here.

The customer created the impression to other taxi drivers that the last taxi driver agreed to a blow job

where the heck are you finding cabs for $5 these days

only correct answer

Oook

In uk it’s called a rank

I was waiting for a "spanking the monkey" punchline, but this works too.

If it was in NYC he would know the going rate for a blowjob by the time he got through the queue.

Hey, it's from the movie "Rabbit without ears" (2007)

What is it?

It means the same thing here in the US too. It’s just not a cool, “young” phrase, so they’re ignoring that fact for internet one-liners

It is.

Obviously it is the taxi rank in front of the station

You'd probably get more strange/concerned stares than anything else.

Wait, what do you use? You must have the concept of a queue right? It would explain a lot of you didn't but there's no way.

Edit: forgot about line

Is that a discworld reference?

Could be New Zealand; the smaller, less racist Australia...

BUT are there any differences in blowjob techniques between chimps and monkeys?

I feel there's a PhD thesis in there. Go forth and discover, for science!

$20 is $20

Well, I guess you'll have to slap me a little harder then, 😉

Don't be so suburban...

Thumbs down on this joke.

A 2001 Kevin Smith movie, but that’s not important right now.

Especially if it smells bad

What do you say instead? Let's get in the Q?

Orangutans are most definitely apes. It might be I'll advised to refer to one using the M-word.

Best response

I think the gay community has a lot of fun

I just can't get past the "Sex with men" thing

I have to draw the line somewhere

Edit:. So I get down voted because I don't want to have sex with men. I didn't say you couldn't. Just expressing my personal preference

But I guess that isn't allowed anymore

How and Why?

Thought this comment was better than the joke 🤣

He doesn't exist

I thought it was Canada, eh?

So, get your stupidity right when something Is Rank it Stinks!

Surely you can't be serious.

Personally think the joke would be better if you didn't say

>first taxi in the queue and said "How much to the station ?" "$5" said the driver. "And how much for a blow job ?"

They all should've been "how much for a blowjob" only as from a joke standpoint it gives the punchline away and you're just waiting for it to be said

But also logically if those drivers got out there taxis and said "big Dave is gonna give that lad a blowjob" the First guy would go "tbf he asked me how much it would be to go to the station first so maybe it's that" completely ruining the 'joke' anyways

No ear rabbit?

Instead of saying it worked, you then ask “have they arrived yet?” Implying aliens are about to make contact.

Not from a taxi driver.

Not Hong Kong dollars?

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I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley

..."line"

I am also not medicating my depression

it was when this was first published…

I, in good conscience, must upvote all of this...

I think I'd go for more of a Terminator vibe... implying a threat from the future... then you could also run into the store naked.

This.

I being male and having an interest in vagina can also attest to the fact that getting down voted for enjoying the company of the opposite sex is apparently the way things are handled now. Soon straightness will be a crime.

And for decades before that movie came out, this was told as a joke.

All FOUR major US train stations.

I remember the punchline like "ok, I'll give you 10$, but you have to go slow and wave your colleagues while we pass by."

So back in the late 70's and early 80's when I was a strong supporter of equal rights for all and the Democrat party still didn't want any part of gays I was considered part of the "Looney Left".

Now, because I don't want to have sex with someone with a dick, I am considered a homophobic right winger

Funny thing is, nothing about my political philosophy has changed

Funny!

New England, of course!

Maybe it was in canada? We use queue and $.

From what I’ve read about chimps, during the blow job by the chimp, your dick would be violently ripped off of you by its teeth.

r/emojipolice

Why did I picture Borat in the back of the taxi?

New Zealand

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Hong Kong.

Absolutely…..that’s because “what was once called evil, is now called good…and what was once called good…is now called evil”.

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3,651 people thought it was funny. Sorry it’s not made to your standards

Thanks Joe Rogan for that stirring mental image

Might not be a thesis but definitely an oral exam.

Ha, jokes on you. My dick doesn't have teeth.

The 1980s.

Isn’t that a scene from a movie?

"Looks like you got a lot of blow offs today, but at least you found a ride to the station in the end. Bonus points for the thumbs up, though."

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It definitely is, I just can’t remember the name…

😂😂😂😂

nice movie :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSDnw32Hko0

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They hate everyone equally

I don't know... some of us have discovered its merits

nah, if it was Canada then when the taxi driver cut the guy off he'd have yelled "Soory!" out the window

I think its not the fact that these exist, but more what words are being used to describe them, that is being commented on.

"There's no more lines!"

*points at yellow line in street*
"Well right there's a line, and on this side, we ain't gay!"

Yeah people (as in, like, the human collective) like to overcorrect.

"THese people were discriminated against for a while, that's super awful!"

'yes, I agree. Let's treat everyone equally.'

"Nooooo we have to discriminate against these other people now!"

Right. it isn't like the subject voluntarily got out of the cab after the blowjob was declined. In each case he was kicked out. So the logical conclusion the other drivers should have drawn was that if they declined the blowjob but didn't eject him, he'd have still wanted the ride.

The amount of conjecture in the replies to this based solely off of a few downvotes is hilarious.

Maybe the far left mob isn't coming after you for being straight; maybe a few people just didn't get your joke, or got it but didn't think it was funny?

Ah, I see. I didn't think exact location was important for the joke to be funny so my mind went another direction.

He wouldn't have got past the 1st taxi, BJs are a standard rate and taxed.

I heard this joke years ago.

It's still pretty funny.

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Okay? Congrats?

Why would we assume a taxi driver to be cool and young?

Oh what a strange world we live in. Growing up, I couldn't care one way or the other what some ones preference was. I just figured that if guys were into guys, that left more women for guys like me who liked women. Then one night while I was at a dance club jamming to some techno, the girl I was dancing with ask me what my preference was. I said I was into women and she responded... "Me too"... still not sure where that was headed as she vanished not too long after that.... hmmm

nah, you're right, it isn't. I didn't really think about it either.

Yes losing a few fake internet points definitely makes you a victim on par with the hundreds of years of queer people being murdered for their sexuality. So sorry for your loss

I've only joined this sub in the last few weeks and this is the funniest joke I've read to date.

This one made me spit out my water lmao.

Damn wtf hahahhaa

This is from one of the final scenes in the German movie “Keinohrhasen” with Till Schweiger, 2007. In the movie, he pays the taxi driver much more than asked, just as long as the driver himself waves and gives a thumbs up to the others in the queue.

… just in case anyone is wondering.

Anywhere but USA that has a dollar currency. New Zealand, Australia, Namibia, Hong Kong, Singapore, or Trinidad and Tobago, to name just a few.

The language in all of these places (for the English speakers there) would be to 'queue for a hundred dollar cheque'. And the date on the cheque would be 9 March 2023 (9/03/23).