Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

harrygatto t1_j6h7bz6 wrote

As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a coke...NOW!"

The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot's attitude, brings back a coke for the parrot. However, she forgets the coffee for the guy.

As the guy points this out, the parrot drains his glass and screams:

"Get me another coke or I'll really create a scene!"

Quite upset, the attendant comes back shaking, with another coke, but still no coffee.

Irritated at her forgetfulness, the man decides to try the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it right now, or I'll create a scene that will make HIS look like a Victorian tea party!"

The next moment, both the guy and the parrot are grabbed and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly security guards.

Hurtling towards earth, the parrot turns to him and says: "You're pretty cheeky for a guy who can't fly!"

27

Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss t1_j6h6nla wrote

Last week, I went to see my doctor.

Doctor: Sir, I don't know how to tell you this, but you've got to stop masturbating.

Me: Why?

Doctor: So I can examine you!

21

Koroelyz_arts OP t1_j6h89ck wrote

I can't imagine myself attempting to illustrate this (>▽<) Did make me chuckle though, thank you!

15

Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss t1_j6hb0ob wrote

A guy working at a lumberyard accidentally sheared off all ten of his fingers. At the hospital, the surgeon said: ‘Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.’

‘I haven’t got them,’ said the man.

‘Why not?’ asked the surgeon. ‘This is 2023, we’ve got microsurgery and all kinds of amazing techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. So why didn’t you bring the fingers?’

The man said: ‘I couldn’t pick them up.’

15

HashtagTSwagg t1_j6h72x7 wrote

A blind man walks into a bar, takes a seat at the counter, and orders a drink.

A few sips in, he leads over to the person next to him and asks them "Hey, want to hear a blonde joke?"

Almost immediately, the entire bar goes silent, when the woman he asked clears her throat. "Before you tell that joke, friend, I think there's something you should probably know.

I'm a blonde, and I've played lacrosse for 6 years now. The fellow over there playing pool is a blonde, and he's a star quarterback. The bartender is a blonde, and he used to do MMA. The guy sitting to the other side of you is a blonde, and he's made it to the nationals in weight lifting. Half the people in this bar are blonde. So, buddy, let me ask you... do you really want to tell that joke?"

The man pauses, thinking it over for a second as he takes another sip of his drink. "Probably not, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

13

Koroelyz_arts OP t1_j6h8hrn wrote

okay I see you (☛´∀｀*)☛ I can imagine this as a longer-form comic, great joke!

8

HashtagTSwagg t1_j6h8nag wrote

Thankfully it's a pretty modular joke - you can add as many people of as many backgrounds as you want or need, and the punchline can still be the same. It can be super specific or very generic, especially since the idea his ass could get beaten for telling that joke can be displayed visually rather than through dialog.

7

Koroelyz_arts OP t1_j6h9akh wrote

Solid contender. I'll definitely keep it in mind when I finally decide on one :>

5

trapperjohn3400 t1_j6haehq wrote

  1. Bunny hops up to turtle

  2. Bunny "I'm ready for the race rematch, and this time I'm gonna win!"

  3. Turtle "You know you're just gonna get distracted again and I'm gonna win!"

  4. Bunny showing pill bottle "Now that I'm treating my ADHD you're in for a run for your money"

Completely OC, came up with for your challenge

7

Koroelyz_arts OP t1_j6hp3g8 wrote

HAHHAHA now that's original! I'm tempted to do this one (˃̣̣̥▽˂̣̣̥)

4

Longjumping-Lunch677 t1_j6i4l5i wrote

An alcoholic and a drug addict are sitting in a park. A beautiful blonde woman walks by and the alcoholic says to the drug addict “man would I like to screw her!” The drug addict says “ out of what”

3