... as soon as they get through, Walters says, "this just in"

As they laugh awkwardly at the wholesome but stupid joke, Jesus's mother bumps into Benedict. Annoyed, he exclaims, "what the hail, Mary?!"

Mary, in defense now says, "It was an accident! Shit! Benedict? More like still is a dick!"

God, upset now that this small group of people has upset the heavenly feng shui, yells out, "oh, you can all go to Hell!". They disappear.

Jesus walks in and says, "hey dad, have you seen mom?"

Joseph replies, "no, son, I haven't"

Jesus rolls his eyes, and says, "I wasn't talking to you".

Joseph then replies, "I'm so sick of you treating me as if I'm not the one who raised you! I taught you how to be a carpenter, a respectable career for a small child who was born in a barn! What did he do for you? Oh that's right, he had you murdered so that people who lived after you could be assholes and still get into Heaven! The holiest thing about you is your hands!"

Jesus, startled, says, "not cool, dude."

Meanwhile, the other three mentioned characters burn in hell for all of eternity.

Fin.