You can hide but you can't run!
Comments
aniztar t1_j1st290 wrote
The real joke!
MamaSaidYouUgly t1_j1tk37h wrote
The wheel joke
broberds t1_j1typag wrote
Wheel see about that.
Heybutch t1_j1ubl24 wrote
Oh Wheelie!?!
belt-e-belt t1_j1ugwlq wrote
Wheel wheel wheel
sillypumpking t1_j1u002v wrote
this deserves a standing ovulation
IrishTerminator t1_j1u1u8n wrote
Hah? Why do you want them to ovulate
sillypumpking t1_j1u1x4c wrote
Sorry, my bad, I meant ovation, not ovulation.
IrishTerminator t1_j1u22b8 wrote
I thought that's what you meant, have a great day bud
ATXsoberchaos t1_j1ugamq wrote
Hey men can have babies now β¦ right ? π€£π€£
GenuineSmirk t1_j1v73k2 wrote
Ask Arnold!
Dwan52 t1_j1wkffv wrote
But men can't have babies. You haven't got a womb Stan. Where's the fetus gonna gestate? Gonna keep it a box??
Decent-Obligation-43 t1_j1vg2wv wrote
This is the real joke π€£π€£π€£
sinr_88 t1_j1w157c wrote
Damn you autocorrect?
scurlock74 t1_j1wd06f wrote
To egg them on.
Sir5er1 t1_j1uyq2r wrote
My girlfriend broke up with me so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Saavedroo t1_j1sqwm6 wrote
We don't want to go to war today !
squishman1203 t1_j1t6t19 wrote
But the man with the whip says hey hey hey
Shygar t1_j1v8uak wrote
The wheel weaves as the wheel wills
Flatearthgodfearer t1_j1wd3gv wrote
Robert Jordan?
toughpollen968 t1_j1scekl wrote
As a quadriplegicοΌI wont stand for these kinds of jokes.
Romthirty t1_j1sh0si wrote
Dude, just roll with it.
fosighting t1_j1spqcm wrote
Just kick a man while heβs down. Are you gonna take that lying down OP?
Romthirty t1_j1spw8d wrote
Great, itβs all downhill from hereβ¦
BeegRedYoshi t1_j1teko4 wrote
You guys are really pushing it with these jokes.
apd543 t1_j1tqa5n wrote
Unfortunate for the guy in the wheelchair
TheRedPandaisback t1_j1tzym7 wrote
Way to ruin a joke by explaining it
apd543 t1_j1ubrzh wrote
π«π«
[deleted] t1_j1ss800 wrote
[deleted]
ShittyDs3player t1_j1spsrw wrote
That joke deserves a standing ovation
Doc-Fives-35581 t1_j1sgz4z wrote
Iβm ashamed to say that took me a minute.
smurficus103 t1_j1tyhhi wrote
It's the camo
Cpt_Copycat t1_j1tu15d wrote
A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic girl on a date to dinner and the movies. At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car. He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go.
So he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows him a huge weeping willow tree that they can hide under and says he can do whatever he wants to her. Under the tree, she shows him two branches that can prop her up and makes raunchy, passionate love to her.
When they finish, he dresses himself and her, puts back into her chair, wheels her to the front door, and knocks. When her father sees the young man, he thanks him. The boy feels very uncomfortable because of what he just did to the man's daughter and asks, "Why are you thanking me?" "Because son," the father answers, "You are the first boy to take her out of the tree."
SumonaFlorence t1_j1ue3f2 wrote
I actually spat when I got to the punchline, like wow lol
JBYTuna t1_j1srpl8 wrote
Matt, is that you?
dodgethis_sg t1_j1tzbfa wrote
Ah robot chicken
Quadstyle t1_j1svbtg wrote
As a quadriplegic myself, I agree. He took it a step too far.
stankmastaflex t1_j1svoo9 wrote
Well then, just sit there and take it
Common-Wish-2227 t1_j1tl335 wrote
Walk it off.
007licensetomambo t1_j1t6jsm wrote
Be the bigger man and just walk away....
Right_Bedroom_3011 t1_j1tfvfw wrote
Ok Matt I agree.
maclovin67 t1_j1su3mk wrote
To the person who stole my antidepressants? I hope you're happy now!
corbymatt t1_j1tsvfm wrote
To the person who stole my suppositories, I'll get them back in the end!
Holden_place t1_j1tuaqm wrote
To the person who stole my calendar, your days are numbered
Holden_place t1_j1txtc6 wrote
Someone stole my dictionary. I donβt have the words
sobdos t1_j1tvjly wrote
Two guys at my office got caught steeling a calendar. They got six months each!
Holden_place t1_j1twfnb wrote
To the person who got dirt on my ceiling, you done messed up!
Holden_place t1_j1tumfy wrote
To the person who stole my kidβs toy bunsen burner, youβre playing with fire
Holden_place t1_j1tv5fe wrote
To the person who stole my Empathy book with an Apple Tag, I will find you and I will get you
wrongjokesgets t1_j1tvbib wrote
It seems like people still a lot of stuff from you.
TastyCoals t1_j1uf5ei wrote
Indeed the commenter needs more refinement.
MatDom4KnkyYngr t1_j1ycpok wrote
And your little dog too.
Holden_place t1_j1tvjjb wrote
To the person who stole my leather pauldrons, Iβm giving you the cold shoulder
Holden_place t1_j1tusro wrote
To the person who stole my chalkboard paint, the writings on the wall!
Holden_place t1_j1twphe wrote
Someone stole my favorite horse pill. Itβs hard to swallow
Holden_place t1_j1tvakb wrote
To the person who stole my only hay bale, thatβs the last straw
Holden_place t1_j1tvqwq wrote
To the person who stole my minnows, you can have βem. Iβve got bigger fish to fry
mel_tsegaye t1_j1u2b8i wrote
To the person who stole my sleeping pills I hope you're sleeping better now
Master_dekoy t1_j1v7bgk wrote
Same person stole me coffee. I hope itβs not keeping him up at night.
[deleted] t1_j1u2r8x wrote
[removed]
TooShiftyForYou t1_j1su6it wrote
My wheelchair using girlfriend broke up with me.
She said I pushed her around and was talking too much behind her back.
So I stole her wheelchair.
She'll come crawling back.
General_Freed t1_j1tqpfu wrote
To whoever stole my Microsoft Office Suite.
I will find you. You have my Word!
Outlook not so good for you...
Holden_place t1_j1twv04 wrote
Excel-lent joke
General_Freed t1_j1twxrw wrote
Yeah. That's the Power-Point I was trying to make
Holden_place t1_j1tx8x5 wrote
I just have One Note - You need Access to better puns
SumonaFlorence t1_j1ue80e wrote
You guys really need to stop Publishing this rubbish.
TastyCoals t1_j1uf9k2 wrote
Please stop it with the Visious comments!!!
SumonaFlorence t1_j1ufers wrote
I Azure you, they won't.
imachiknsamich t1_j1u84nr wrote
Don't worry, he'll give it back once the yearly subscription tries to renew
ActuallyCalindra t1_j1slpw6 wrote
They don't see him rolling. They hatin'.
Krishna_Kumar18 t1_j1sq7rv wrote
Patrollin' they tryna catch me ridin' dirty
Specific-Culture-638 t1_j1smdrh wrote
Tryna catch him ridin' dirty!
DrawingConfident8067 t1_j1tjdiv wrote
My ex stole my heart, so in turn I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back
Glass-Ad1766 t1_j1smxj0 wrote
Oh Shit! Thatβs funny stuff! I started laughing so hard, my wife looked at me funny. I shared with her and she lost her shot too! Weβre still laughing!
djshadesuk t1_j1sxo29 wrote
Hope you refilled her glass.
Trevor965 OP t1_j1sn3r8 wrote
Happy to hear it :D
Rogne98 t1_j1sykz0 wrote
Then youβre gonna love Milton Jonesβ other work - thereβs hours of him on YouTube (specials and various panel shows)
BathroomCareful23 t1_j1ss5wq wrote
My wife laughed too π€£
just_one_tall_guy t1_j1t7z5d wrote
And the toaster laughed
isoman2kx t1_j1srbxl wrote
Lost her SHOT ?!?!?????!?!?!??!??!??
mortblanc t1_j1susjn wrote
*snot, maybe
EuphoricFoot3 t1_j1t86ag wrote
We think itβs him, but is it wheelie?
imachiknsamich t1_j1u89e2 wrote
That joke is tired
Iinsomniacow t1_j1su92z wrote
Ltn Dan got his sea legs!
FireflyJerkyCo t1_j1snbqe wrote
Lieutenant Dan!
fullinversion82 t1_j1tn9oj wrote
To the man in the reflective vest who stole my running shoes:
You can run but you can't hide!
[deleted] t1_j1tsp10 wrote
[deleted]
imachiknsamich t1_j1u80s0 wrote
Scary Terry in da house!
Outrageous-River3744 t1_j1sqov1 wrote
No, but he can roll with it
Bruhdale-dingle t1_j1sfzs2 wrote
He can just hide inside a cabbage patch, heβs already a veget
Ratbu t1_j1ss7aw wrote
Damn he got to ya
TottalDamnation t1_j1sps8d wrote
Low-key its more funny that someone that can't even walk stole your jacket, then your joke is
chirp23 t1_j1t3o0g wrote
You canβt run but you can hide
[deleted] t1_j1vadwe wrote
[removed]
Top-Capital1395 t1_j1t4khe wrote
Lieutenant Dan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spy_Mouse t1_j1u4dxo wrote
If they can't see me rollin' They can't be hatin'
Stoked_Malware t1_j1v1r3q wrote
If u riding clean they cant be patroling
BenSaked t1_j1uaiwf wrote
The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.
Big-End-9824 t1_j1vvrue wrote
To the person who stole my anti depressants. I hope your happy now.
Good_Divide_2292 t1_j1t4vtv wrote
HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH LOL π€£
bareelofgods t1_j1t6ipf wrote
Funny
Complex_Ad_4284 t1_j1twt3g wrote
Don't worry, his wheelchair is squeaky.
Substantial-Ad-9872 t1_j1u4s70 wrote
To the person who stole my virginity.....
MatDom4KnkyYngr t1_j1ycy6c wrote
Better leave this one untouched.
[deleted] t1_j1shvsr wrote
[deleted]
[deleted] t1_j1sk1gk wrote
[deleted]
alceda211 t1_j1sp1py wrote
They (don't) see me rollin'...
tompackman t1_j1svebo wrote
This is a Milton Jones joke! If you like it you should check him out, heβs incredible
[deleted] t1_j1svwxr wrote
Now only the faint squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Of rusted wheels. Coming closer. Closer. CLOSER
TheBlackArrows t1_j1szhbd wrote
Now here we go
7157xit-435 t1_j1u4zse wrote
Jokes are gonna ramp up now.
leonscum t1_j1t26r1 wrote
What do you call an emaciated, toothless, junkie in a wheelchair stealing hub caps?
​
​
A West Virginian.
sladog6 t1_j1t27mi wrote
If I ever see you again Iβll β¦β¦
ShaiHulud23 t1_j1t91pt wrote
Boohoo
erdricksarmor t1_j1tb0t3 wrote
Don't worry, he won't get far on foot...
AMythicalApricot t1_j1tnvju wrote
Please say you replied "Merry Christmas!" π
lefthandrighty t1_j1tpwiw wrote
Your wheelchair is rolling away.
sus_username_69 t1_j1u3ke4 wrote
To the person who peeks at my phone while watching Gladiator : Are you not entertained?
Character-Brother839 t1_j1uukyl wrote
Don't see me rollin...
red-evil t1_j1v5083 wrote
To the person who stole my Viagara...... Its very hard to hide it, isn't it?
Remarkable-Ad1479 t1_j1vae3n wrote
"I see you rolling, im hatin"
[deleted] t1_j1vhtq4 wrote
lol
leighplayscello t1_j1voghp wrote
Don't need to run, my chair goes like 20kph
LaylaDaLova t1_j1vyj2h wrote
Exactly he can roll but it ainβt gone stop you from chasing after his ass! π€£
OwnEntertainmentX t1_j1wxgkc wrote
But... Is the chase downhill??..
jaiagreen t1_j1wa2w1 wrote
Don't worry, he won't get far on foot!
HolyMangoYT t1_j1wbr3b wrote
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you; I have contacts.
[deleted] t1_j1we1fy wrote
[removed]
gregredmore t1_j1wejcv wrote
Gotta love Milton Jones.
DragonBornOfAcid t1_j1wx0e7 wrote
Did you come up with this?
Trevor965 OP t1_j1wxw6j wrote
Nope
NobodyKnowsMeOutHere t1_j1wz6rk wrote
My wife is a paraplegic so I should be offended but I love the word play.
fun_canb_guy t1_j1sxtsr wrote
Wont see him coming
Bruhdale-dingle t1_j1sg0cq wrote
He can just hide inside a cabbage patch, heβs already a vegetable
Academic_Mongoose698 t1_j1tjb0d wrote
A vegetable canβt move or talk you made no sense with that corny line
Bruhdale-dingle t1_j1u1kh9 wrote
Did you literally make a Reddit account to reply to this or have you done literally nothing. Over 286 days
isoman2kx t1_j1sr6lq wrote
Hahaha gad and the one 1β£ that is not working β and not for a long period but the other one 1β£ is not working β it would have been the only way I can π₯« to it all and the fact is the salary is very good morning π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π π
[deleted] t1_j1sboe7 wrote
[deleted]
Trevor965 OP t1_j1sc9g3 wrote
Dude, there's over 24 million users on this subreddit, there is bound to be the same joke tucked away here somewhere, say like, from 4 years ago or some shit. Keep your wig on
amhscuur t1_j1sf3gd wrote
How many of these jokes are original anyway? Iβm assuming less than 5%. If the jokes are funny, then you should keep posting them.
Trevor965 OP t1_j1sfh7v wrote
Finally! Someone gets it! And also, NEW people come and join this subreddit almost every week who have probably never heard of these jokes before, so they'll hopefully get a good chuckle outta them
Triette t1_j1vb599 wrote
I thought it was hilarious, and I hadnβt heard it before. Thank you!
Trevor965 OP t1_j1vbcap wrote
Aww don't mention it :D I'm glad some people found it funny :) β¨
y2kpbj t1_j1si7ny wrote
I am so!
Armamore t1_j1snkyu wrote
Do you have an original joke for us?
marfred76 t1_j1sd0l5 wrote
Where there is a wheel, there is a way.