Coffee and the Bible

Submitted by TanaFey t3_ztw1wj in Jokes

Did you know the Bible talks about who should make coffee? There's a whole book dedicated to it called Hebrews.

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SignHot6352 t1_j1fntbj wrote

Hebrews is not a book. „Hebrew people are mostly considered synonymous with the Semitic-speaking Israelites, especially in the pre-monarchic period when they were still nomadic.“

Edit: oops was wrong thx for correcting

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TanaFey OP t1_j1fzo18 wrote

Respectfully, look under the New Testament, between Philemon and James. Also sometimes called "Letter to the Hebrews."

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ExhaleShambho t1_j1h39co wrote

It's ok guys. This Christian doesn't like coffee, He won't even swallow Reali-Tea

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mpdukes15 t1_j1iebzh wrote

Lookit, the atheist, whom you know is an atheist because—just like a crossfitter and a vegan—they can’t wait to self-identify.

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ExhaleShambho t1_j1iwf9s wrote

It's more like I can't wait to "un-identify" to the Jesus enforcement crew that worked hard on me since I was born

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mpdukes15 t1_j1ix3aq wrote

Some chip.

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ExhaleShambho t1_j1ixkgw wrote

Yeah I should break in your child for a decade or two that he's broken and deserves to burn in hell for all eternity. He needs to correctly carry out a faith based method of avoiding hell properly or he will burn for all eternity. Then you can tell him to get over it. Unless he's still stupid enough to praise god in fear. Other people say he's not reading his bible the right way.

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mpdukes15 t1_j1ixop6 wrote

They did you a disservice if that’s the kind of Christianity that was “forced” on you.

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ExhaleShambho t1_j1iy4kr wrote

Just read the bible so you can notice that the bible speaks this way. Biblical Christianity promotes all this hell crap and then faith based forgiveness methods. Christianity and the bible represent each other. Don't promote either one. Promoting Christianity promotes the bible. Promoting the bible promotes Christianity. That book is a nightmare that most people gloss over

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mpdukes15 t1_j1iy7ys wrote

You’re wrong.

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ExhaleShambho t1_j1iyh45 wrote

I read the whole thing many times. We have search engines now on top of that. The reason everyone is desperate for forgiveness is to avoid hellllllll. Not something different

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mpdukes15 t1_j1iyjpl wrote

Wrong again.

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ExhaleShambho t1_j1iyqrf wrote

Star trek was a tv show and people changed it into a religion. Did you read the bible and then change it to something different? No those words aren't true, but these ones are true?

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p0k3t0 t1_j1fpxte wrote

I think you will find that the new testament has a book called Epistle to the Hebrews which is frequently shortened to just Hebrews.

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ImAScientistToo t1_j1icrim wrote

I’ve never seen so many downvotes on this subreddit. You sir or ma’am have my respect in this difficult accomplishment.

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