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TooShiftyForYou t1_j02eydw wrote

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.

On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead.

Now completely stranded the priest said, "Well sister, this looks pretty grim."

"I know, father," replied the nun. "In fact, I don't think we can last more than day or two out here."

"I agree," answered the priest. "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you mind doing something for me?"

"Anything father." replied the nun.

"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."

The nun hesitated, "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." She opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts.

"Sister would you mind if I touched them?" he asked.

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

The nun asked, "Father, could I ask something of you?"

"Yes sister?"

"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"

"Well under the circumstances, I suppose that would be OK." the priest replied lifting his robe.

"Oh father, may I touch it?"

This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he became quite aroused.

"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."

"Is that true father?" asked the nun.

"Yes it is, sister."

"Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and let's get the fuck out of here."

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discerningpervert t1_j02pjfv wrote

I wanna know what happened next

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Malvastor t1_j02r3qh wrote

The most uncomfortable miracle in the Catholic canon.

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bentheechidna t1_j03t8lv wrote

This is how Catholics tell the story of the conception of Sleipnir.

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CNDoctor t1_j035kl0 wrote

Kink shaming! Dude, come on it's 2022.

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Malvastor t1_j03jcfs wrote

I'll have you know kink shaming is a real kink of mine.

Please keep scolding.

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Mad_Moodin t1_j048jky wrote

That's fucked up dude.

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Carnivorous_Mower t1_j04pq8u wrote

Camelid necrophiliac sodomy is kind of niche, so I can understand why some might be a bit reluctant to accept it.

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Metroplex038 t1_j056ljb wrote

If your kink is necrophia and beastiality at the same time, I'm pretty sure most people are going to judge at least a little

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jojo69bola t1_j042bp1 wrote

I think there is some way more uncomfortable shit in the bible

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Malvastor t1_j04c1rd wrote

Honestly? I can't think of anything. The Bible doesn't shy away from frank descriptions of some nasty stuff, but I can't think of any instances of camel lovin'.

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2Ben3510 t1_j04gr7r wrote

I'd say Loth's daughters getting him drunk and then raping him to get pregnant is arguably more uncomfortable than fucking a camel.

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transformedxian t1_j059sxy wrote

I'll see your incest and raise you dismemberment of a corpse. Young Levite tosses his concubine out into the street where she gets gang raped and left to die, which she does the next morning. He cuts her body into 12 pieces and sends one piece to each of the tribes.

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WordsMort47 t1_j05f0fn wrote

Why did he do that?

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theXpanther t1_j05khdt wrote

Because he was angry. All the Israelites gathered and fought the benjamintes, and destroyed the city, and killed ask the women. They also promised never to let their daughters marry a benaminite.

However, then some smart people realized they actually needed all 12 tribes so that encouraged the remaining benaminites to kidnap some women to marry. This saved them from extinction but it the tribe always stayed small.

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transformedxian t1_j072s3c wrote

The Levite and his concubine (could have been a lesser wife since polygamy was allowed and her father supported the relationship) were staying with an elderly man in Gibeah. The men of the town came to the house and demanded the old man give them his male guests (the Levite and his servant) to sexually abuse. He wouldn't but tossed out his virgin daughter and the concubine instead. The Levite sends parts of his concubine to the tribes to shake them up out of their moral lassitude. (But let's not ignore the fact he himself did this despicable, reprehensible thing himself in allowing a woman in his care to be abused like this.)

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Malvastor t1_j06tk15 wrote

To send a visceral, grisly message about the Benjaminites' crime. He could say what they did in a letter, but that doesn't have the same impact without a visual aid. And since it was several thousand years before the first camera...

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tvalone2 t1_j05i4aj wrote

Who the hell is Loth? Sloths brother?

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Kraylonavich t1_j04bdc1 wrote

Uncomfortable, like the back of a Volkswagen ?

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Malvastor t1_j06w3si wrote

Yes, assuming you've stuffed a dead camel back there and are now stuffing it.

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conundrum4u2 t1_j02xh61 wrote

They don't call camels "ships of the desert" for nothing!

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portuga1 t1_j03ce3e wrote

He fucked the dead camel, but alas… it didn’t come back to life. Then they lived happily ever after. The end

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garbailian t1_j0418vm wrote

He banged that camel until his balls turned blue,then he backed off whacked off and banged the nun too.

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tshwashere t1_j03w187 wrote

The teacher fainted.

Then she sat down and cried.

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wstaeblein t1_j04i1vs wrote

Since it was the third day, the priest resuscitated the camel with his magic dick, so they could escape and go back to their boring lives.

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IOORYZ t1_j04e91u wrote

Well, the story was told to someone, so they must have survived. I too wonder how...

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endapr22 t1_j06hkzo wrote

The camel came out alone from the desert...

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handpant t1_j052ddd wrote

Father became a Saint of fallen camels

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Frequent-Jacket3117 t1_j04cv34 wrote

I thought the ending would be something like:

"But father its HUGE!!!!"

"Yeah, why do you think the camel died sister?!"

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Nogarddog32 t1_j033268 wrote

Yes!!! I thought of this exact joke as well 😂

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Arnorien16S t1_j04m119 wrote

The real joke is that the priest got taught about how consent works.

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Awesum51Merc t1_j0602ow wrote

I'm confused......whose Cameltoe got Violated? The Nun or the Camel?

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