Thank you Rodney

Oh, so you are that baby from the bus, all grown up??!!

(in case anyone doesn't remember.. [how come you guys don't? its reposted every month!] here it is):

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A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

r/suicidebywords

Thanks, that cracked me up, I needed that.

Rodney: I'm so ugly when my dog humps my leg he closes his eyes.

I got the consolation prize

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the ugly cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

I miss his witty one liner jokes. I get no respect I tell ya.

Yesis!

from a biological point of view, human can be considered a monkey

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: D

Why would a teacher put an adjective just before a singular animal?

but you look like a bag of smashed assholes? lol

[deleted]

In much the same way that humans can be considered a type of whale. Humans are apes, not monkeys.

You so ugly your parents had to tie a pork chop to you to get the family dog to play with you