Submitted by Maleficent-Cicada869 t3_z799yn in Jokes
Now you mention Botox and no one rises an eyebrow
Comments
socmineo t1_iy5ey19 wrote
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported to the hospital. While she was in surgery she'd a supernatural, near death experience. She met God and asked him: ‟Has my time come?” He answered: ‟No, you have 43 years, 2 months and 8 more days to live.” After she recovered, the woman decided to stay in hospital and do plastic surgery on her face, liposuction, breast enlargement and abdominal fat removal. She also called a hair stylist to change her hairstyle and an orthodontist to perform a 'teeth lifting'. She figured, if she'd so much time in front of her, she should live the best way possible. After her last plastic surgery and not until she has recovered, she wore a new dress with matching heels, left the hospital, went across the street and an ambulance run over her… While crossing the gates to heaven, she reached God and demanded to know what happened: ‟You told me I had 43 more years! Why did not you save me from the ambulance?” And he answered: ‟I did not recognize you.”
gruzovozovoz t1_iy5fu6n wrote
When I was growing up, marking a body part with an indelible design by inserting pigment into punctures in the skin, was a bit of a tattoo subject
Klin24 t1_iy5yyim wrote
Waitsfornoone t1_iy6987r wrote
He liked his comment so much he did it twice.
UncleP24-7 t1_iy69qtx wrote
They both have a penis
Waitsfornoone t1_iy69qw4 wrote
Just yesterday, a friend told me you can get Botox for your ballsack to get rid of all the wrinkles.
That's is pretty nuts!
6GoesInto8 t1_iy6n6ah wrote
The real observational stand up comedy is in the comments.
HYPERBOLE_TRAIN t1_iy6y0vy wrote
OP is Mario.
Vast_Cricket t1_iy72x8r wrote
I was at a hospital. The nurse had time to kill. She mentioned her mom got one. Dad was so jealous he got one also. Both love their new looks.
Opposite_Complex_907 t1_iy74jbm wrote
Raises*
Great-and_Terrible t1_iy78v5m wrote
Both are correct. Taboo is both a noun and an adjective.
n0_sh1t_thank_y0u t1_iy7m2v7 wrote
No, you get this for your 15th bday in Korea?
SolTarot t1_iy93509 wrote
If I use the word taboo as an adjective in a sentence but the sentence structure makes it a noun then I’ve both used it right and wrong at the same time.
Drinking in the 1940s was a taboo [subject]
Flash635 t1_iy9i707 wrote
*labiaplasty
mralex t1_iy9lfkl wrote
Don’t tell anyone about this mistake. Loose lips sink ships.
Flash635 t1_iy9lxz2 wrote
Brrrrrrrrrrrpppppp
onkelpatte t1_iy5df1o wrote
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them?
Now they put everything online and get mad when people do not.