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thegumby1 t1_ivszs4m wrote

And don’t call me Shirley!

167

Make_the_music_stop t1_ivtc4ak wrote

A guy walks into a busy bar and sees two ribeye steaks hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what’s up with the steaks. The bartender tells him it’s a challenge, if he can jump and touch the ribeyes he can drink free all night. However if he try’s and fails, he has to buy everyone in the bar a drink. The bartender then asks him if he’d like to try. The man replies “No the steaks are too high”

61

Waitsfornoone t1_ivtd0i9 wrote

A "large" man is eating a steak dinner at a restaurant when the waitress comes over and asks him "How did you find the steak, sir?"
The man looks at her and replies "I just moved the potatoes."

50

third-try t1_ivti5hy wrote

More originally:

Enrico Caruso was going to his table in a restaurant once and saw a diva he knew sitting down to an enormous steak. "You're not going to eat that alone, are you, Steffi?"

"No," she replied, "I have also potatoes ordered."

7

Meranek t1_ivts2qy wrote

Can we not say fat anymore?

−2

dewayneestes t1_ivts9f4 wrote

r/steak

For the guy who posted the bronto-ribeye the other day.

3

TooShiftyForYou t1_ivtss2z wrote

I said to my physician, "Dr., I've really got to lose some weight. I'm huge, my dad is huge, my mom is huge and my sisters are huge. This terrible burden of obesity runs in my family."

He said, "It sounds like nobody runs in your family."

379

akersmacker t1_ivu6hwu wrote

I can't eat another wafer...

Bucket!

55

adviceKiwi t1_ivumknp wrote

Oh but Monsieur, it's just a waaaafer thin mint...

8

DadJokeBadJoke t1_ivuxze1 wrote

In one Cheers episode, Norm takes Woody to his favorite steak place The Hungry Heifer. (Of course, Norm gets his same greeting when he walks in). The waitress comes over and Norm says "How about the carnivore platter for two." She turns to Woody and he says "I think he just ordered for both of us." and Norm and the waitress both shake their head No.

23

eaglewatch1945 t1_ivwfrxi wrote

If i can get a dessert down him, think you can throw in a couple of Paul Bunyan hat's for the kids?

3