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Jeffrys t1_ityuakx wrote

My wife doesnt have blue Light & siren ?

4

mmo4btc t1_ityur6t wrote

Went to Starbucks with the wife a few weeks ago. Have a pretty standard to spell name. Cashier spelled it out correctly and I said close enough. Wife said I was an ass. Her standard reply to my jokes.

Next day, different Starbucks. They screwed up my name. I guess I had it coming?

6

Raevix t1_ityvtga wrote

I'm not doing your job for you.

14

PygmeePony t1_ityvvlh wrote

One day you won't have to go back to your job anymore?

5

SnarfbObo t1_itywtaz wrote

not everyone can do my job

128

corporalcrocodile t1_ityy55g wrote

One gives money for your efforts the other one takes money for your efforts.

19

meatygirlyguy t1_itz5hqy wrote

For a moment I tought: "Aah, that's sweet. Sure it wasn't love at first sight, but after 5 years you really grew to like each other."

But nope, it's a sex joke.

−4

desertrock62 t1_itz5s60 wrote

My job is trying to kill me, but I would die for my wife.

3

martinus952 t1_itz6f8q wrote

My job gives me money, not spends

0

Scoongili t1_itz6ho0 wrote

I can leave my job and make more money with a new one.

1

Robhig007 t1_itz7qgd wrote

I fuck my wife but my job fucks me!

3

kev601962 t1_itzdbwb wrote

You can walk away from one and not the other

1

dr_olfin t1_itzj0sv wrote

You can only do one at home, in bed, without showering, all while looking at your phone.

2

wildfire393 t1_itzl1nn wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#254,626)

In a little over a week, we'll see this reposted with 3 years. 5 days later, it'll be reposted with 2 years. By the end of November, every post on this sub will be:

"What's the difference between a job and a wife?

The job sucks."

6

NEXT_VICTIM t1_itzld4f wrote

Your boss doesn’t brag about doing your job?

1

fersur t1_itzn0tt wrote

Wait a minute.

1

mcramsay t1_itzob0i wrote

Variation: Why do brides smile? They've given their last bj. (Yes I know, not all brides/wives/women. Maybe men stop trying to be sexy too. At the end of the day it's just a joke, not a social commentary.)

2

m0h1tkumaar t1_itzqnr2 wrote

My job should never have sucked but it does so since day one and my wife should have sucked but she hasn't till date.

FML

0

shrouple t1_itzqvph wrote

I actually do my wife

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shrouple t1_itzrbfe wrote

My wife will give me a raise

0

Amyx231 t1_itzsc4d wrote

I don’t visit your job.

1

CyberMatrix87 t1_itzz8fs wrote

This could change to 5 weeks and still be accurate

1

ifmiandy32 t1_itzzbps wrote

I was gonna say. I like my job

1

aenimal1985 t1_iu00gem wrote

I been married 15 years and the wife sucked THIS morning guys! Felt like I won the lottery or something! Of course it's been like 5 years since the last time BUT STILL!

5