Submitted by Azrael_The_Bold t3_12102bo in Jokes
I’ve been Catholic all of my life, and this is one of my favorite jokes of all time.
One of the parish priests from the Cathedral went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish & proceeded to reel it in.
The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"
The priest looks shocked, “My son! Such language is uncalled for from a child of God!”
The guide, thinking quickly as he did not want to offend the priest, says, "No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Really?” The priest says, “Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"
After a long struggle, the priest and the guide finally get the fish in the boat. As they marveled at the size of the monster, the guide says, "Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen! You must bring it home and cook it. You’ll never eat anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"
Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear & his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
"Sister! You simply must take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" he exclaimed.
Sister Mary gasped, “Father!” made the sign of the cross, and clutched her rosary.
The priest shook his head, "Fear not, Sister! That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"
Sister Mary informed the priest that the Pope was making a surprise visit to the Cathedral, and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner. Humble as ever, she said, "Father, it would be the greatest privilege of my life if you’d give me the honor of cleaning the Son of a Bitch.” And of course the priest consented.
As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Bishop walked in. "What are you doing Sister?"
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the Pope’s Dinner!" she replied.
“Sister Mary!” The bishop exclaimed, “If you’re that upset, I can clean it for you! There is no need for such vulgar language!"
"No, your Eminence,” the Nun replied, bowing, “It's called a Son of a Bitch fish!" "Really?” said the Bishop, “Well, in that case, I shall fix up a delicious meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning."
Now, on the night of the Pope’s visit, everything was perfect. The Bishop had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was just as succulent as the fishing guide had promised.
The Pope said, "What a wonderful fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" said the priest.
“I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" said the nun.
“I cooked that Son of a Bitch!" said the Bishop.
The Pope looked around at each of them. A big smile crept across his face as he said, "Well I sure as hell liked eating that son of a bitch. You mother fuckers are my kind of people!"