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Make_the_music_stop t1_jduhsvr wrote

A bloke walks into a bar and there are two Nuns playing darts. He offers to do the scoring.

The first Nun hits a treble twenty with her first and second darts and double twenty with her third. The man shouts out "One hundred and sixty."

The second Nun goes to throw and hits a treble twenty, a single twenty and the third dart hits the wire and rebounds straight into the Nuns eye, killing her instantly! The bloke shouts out "One Nun dead and eighty."

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Mobiasstriptease t1_jdv9ab9 wrote

This sounds like it's a funny joke... But I need an American translation to appreciate it.

Edit: Nevermind. I needed the idiot translation, not the American one. Thanks reddit

2nd edit: American translation is the idiot translation. You should all go into stand-up comedy.

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militaryCoo t1_jdvabew wrote

The best score you can achieve with 3 darts is one hundred and eighty, and there's a very stereotypical/famous way that commentators say the score

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E420CDI t1_jdx2d20 wrote

One hundred and EIIIIIIGGGHHHTTTTTYYYYYYY

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lazostat t1_jdvazg5 wrote

I think this comment must take some upvotes! Thanks for the explanation!

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theembodimentoffat t1_jdvcxvr wrote

>I needed the idiot translation, not the American one.

What's the difference?

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theplutosys t1_jdvlo2y wrote

As an American, allow me to ditto this question

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Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdwmkm4 wrote

Grandpa, what's a ditto?

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E420CDI t1_jdx3962 wrote

It's what you stick in a sentence to aid and quicken its climax

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theplutosys t1_jdwtwi3 wrote

?

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Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdwuu6d wrote

Hey, you're the one that used the term.

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theplutosys t1_jdwww16 wrote

I don’t get what you are asking. The definition of ditto?

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Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdwzhpd wrote

It was a play on "what's a computer?"

Many would say that the term came from the purple copies that smelled oh so good back in the old days.

Not my best work.

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Mikesaidit36 t1_jdxej3g wrote

Those smelly slightly damp blue/purple copies were mimeographs. I’m old enough to remember seeing a hand crank machine in an office somewhere with somebody cracking up smelly copies. Different than xeroxes. But I’m just realizing I’ve known what the word ditto means all along without knowing what it comes from.

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Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdxkwxg wrote

>But I’m just realizing I’ve known what the word ditto means all along without knowing what it comes from.

The term ditto for a mimiograph copy actually comes from the term ditto, which comes from Latin though Italian. Just a little tidbit I finally happened to learn a couple of years ago after half a century on this Earth. I had always had the same assumption as you.

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Fabulous_Brother2991 t1_jdz5ems wrote

Remember that lovely smell of those fresh warm mimeograghed papers.... mmmmmm!

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Mikesaidit36 t1_jdzkr48 wrote

Probably highly carcinogenic like everything that seems so great at first

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ArchemedesRex t1_jdx9bbb wrote

A typographical copy that uses blue ink and a stencil, in a machine

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Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdxeb1d wrote

You left out the sweet, sweet solvent.

The sound of the teacher's clack-clack-clack on the hallway floor returning from the teacher's lounge would start a pavlovian tingle in your nose in anticipation.

It almost made up for getting the last one, which was only vaguely legible because the master was running out.

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Roswyne t1_jdx9m6h wrote

Ditto is Dot's brother.

Don't you read Hi and Lois?

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Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdxduqp wrote

I vaguely remember that. Are you sure you're not a great grandparent? :)

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Luked0g44O t1_jdxsjoa wrote

DOTTIE’S brother. Dot and Dash would be siblings.

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kit630 t1_jdye30w wrote

And as an American also, I second this ditto.

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OdiumNatus t1_jdvo65x wrote

Here it is then. It's not the idiot translation, it's more like an over privileged, under educated and a bit too arrogant to know cause to busy being FUCKING AWESOME! Translation.

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barney_trumpleton t1_jdx2vjo wrote

You may need more context, as an American. In professional darts in the UK, when someone throws 180, the crowd go wild and the announcer embellishes the call like he's announcing a boxer making a grand entrance. This has made its way into the public zeitgeist, where amateur comedians will scream "ooooooone hundred and eighhhhhhty!!" at random intervals throughout a game of darts.

https://youtu.be/aea939Cxs5w

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Shersh11 t1_jdw10m8 wrote

You need to get a flabbergast translation

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tcorey2336 t1_jdxu7ev wrote

That second edit made me laugh, but I was reading it as “I needed the idiot translation, which is the same as the American translation.” Yes, we can be dense.

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taleofbenji t1_jdvgkq9 wrote

I think it would be funnier if the nun only scored sixty so that it sounds like the same score.

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Mantonythe1st t1_jdy53wd wrote

Probably the first nun joke I've read that isn't rude in some way lol

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Clshaw95 t1_jdznztb wrote

I had a substitute teacher tell this one when I was in Year 6, had me howling.

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lidlesstare t1_jdud3t6 wrote

But I did tell her about the miraculous healing powers of my saliva.

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O-U-T-C-A-S-T t1_jduiy3h wrote

Did you help to apply direct pressure to stop the bleeding?

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Aconductor2 t1_jdve5uv wrote

Must suck wound to bring out any possibility of poison, oh yes, I forget about thouglly inspection of the wound.

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carmium t1_jdx8muq wrote

Thouglly? I think your tongue was already anticipating.

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ao5357 t1_jdv0lr7 wrote

You're a lucky man, Pierce

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DrMux t1_jdvesx8 wrote

That's nothing! One time, I banged Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom!

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fickle_north t1_jdvsfd7 wrote

Embarrassed myself further by trying to stem the bleeding with my hand.

I felt a right tit.

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sherriffflood t1_je0dd3r wrote

Must have looked awkward with your trousers round your ankles

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alex0166 t1_jdwx9pa wrote

I suck at women's nipples!

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taleofbenji t1_jdvezpf wrote

That joke is worth one verified chuckle.

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UnburnedFire t1_jdwpgcy wrote

Well now you are sucking on pierced nipples

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utsVR t1_jdve1bh wrote

Nature’s bullseye

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highxv0ltage t1_jdxl3fl wrote

If you managed to be that precise, I think you’re better than you think.

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Richinwalla t1_jdxyve8 wrote

Guess you won’t be sucking that one

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NaSinRao t1_jdw0la9 wrote

You did the right thing by only sucking at the darts.

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cherryhilljawnz t1_jdw2l0c wrote

OP gr8 joke! I saw it coming unlike her but a great joke...

Please post this to r/3amjokes

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LilyGaming t1_jdwklim wrote

Ouch this made my cringe

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Haunting-Ad9521 t1_jdyouwg wrote

Looking on the bright side, she got the piercings free, I suppose.

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vldracer16 t1_jdyxy7o wrote

I wish I could have seen that on person!!!

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[deleted] t1_jdz1yzy wrote

Nice. My buddy did both mine on base in the barracks while were both drunk as fuck with a safety pin. Aaaahhhh the good old days

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drinkyourpoision t1_jdzg50c wrote

Nipple rings taste like house keys and there no place like home baby!

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itzToreve t1_jdvhngp wrote

Bro how u bad if u hit it right in the god damn center. Perfect shot.

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sensitivepistachenut t1_jduhuiu wrote

Dang, I'd like to see that happen. So far the girls just have had an akupuncture therapy in the midst of a gaming session.

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