Submitted by Less_Geologist_4004 t3_124s5c2 in Jokes
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Submitted by Less_Geologist_4004 t3_124s5c2 in Jokes
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Donald Trump is stereotypically perceived to be a posterior.
That's an insult to assholes
2016 called
they want their joke back
2001 called They hit the south tower
2016 called
Dicks out for Harambe
2016 is down the hall and to the left
14 inches is way too short for the purpose of this joke
Hillary Clinton's cameltoe
Mmm. That's my kink!!!
Donald Trump is stereotypically perceived to be an evacuation chute.
i don't think OP knows how inches work, or how long that fuck's ties are. It literally hangs like 4 inches below his beltline.
I first heard this joke during the OJ trial and The late, great Johnny Cochran was the asshole behind the tie.
Why did this get removed??
A lot of things get removed, I'm going to guess because it was overtly political
Wow. A “Trump Bad” joke. That’s a blast from the past.
It was pretty great
Make Trump Jokes Great Again!
I thought he lost?
But her emails
From her asshole?
Rearview mirror in a black Dodge Ram.
I'm about the same height as Trump. Just measured from the bottom of my throat to the top of my belt buckle: about 21".
A plunger when you’re backed up
The condom that they all shared 😂
A Gstring!
My dick?
What is the punch line
It said: Donald trump's tie!
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Fuck it, I laughed.
Yeah.. still born. It definitely wasn't a post-partum abortion
Wtf lol
Way too dark for this sub, man
His ego
Meh Not great
Lamest joke on r/Jokes all year. You have to be able to come up with something better than calling Trump an asshole. That's too easy
Nah I agree. Trump is a giant ballsack but this wasn't close to funny, not even visually feasible enough to make it so. Do better or don't bother.
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An old man and his old wife are sitting on the couch. She looks at him and says “ Let’s go upstairs and fuck!” He turned to her and cried “ Hot dog, that sounds great but I can only do one of them…”
Aw. Poor little fella got hit the feels. How long is your tie?
Oops, the right wing snowflake is offended.
Maybe you should suggest something better, Igloo Heater? What would you call a guy who tried to overthrow Democracy? An insurrectionist?
"Tried to overthrow a democracy"
Really, with NO firearms and telling his rally attendees to "make your voices peacefully and patriotically be heard"
OR are you referring to those who said "Who ever said protests should be peaceful" OR "there should be more unrest in the streets" I'm confused... only 1 side had "autonomous zones"
So the police who were beaten with flagpoles and maced and dragged around were just loved to death? The gallows built outside for Mike Pence were just a form of worship we've missed, like Jesus on the Cross? How about the handcuffs and zip ties? The smashing windows? It was not peaceful, so stop your bullshit.
And neither was the "mostly peaceful" riots where a police pricing was burnt down and they tried to keep the cops inside!
NO cops died directly from the Jan 6th protest, and so ehow .yateriously multiple cops were suicided (and none committed suicide during the "summer of love", come on man! Those cops were Clintoned and were gon a spill the beans about all the comms that were "accidebtally" destroyed that day!
Smashed windows - BIG F*&%ING DEAL! There was multiple BILLIONS worth of damages done by those "mostly peaceful" RIOTS! AND COPS WERE KILLED DURING THEM TOO!
The BLM protests were because "you're killing black people without any reason and we're sick of waiting for you to stop".
Jan 6th was to "overthrow the will of the voters and have Donald Trump declared President without the vote supporting it".
One is overthrowing democracy, the other is "stop killing us".
If you can't see the difference, then any efforts to debate with you are pointless. I'm sorry you were lied to by Tucker Carlson, its what he does...
Except black people are 7 tines more likely to kill another black person.... cops just mowing down black people who aren't resisting arrest (like Floyd KICKING the cop trying to put him into the police SUV!!!) just isn't happening! Black people kill FAR MORE blacks than do cops! Also, a white person is 40 times more likely to be attacked by a black person than the other way around... if tou just exams those 2 facts alone, black people are more violent as a group - sure there are SOME pacifists, and sure there are SOME violent white people but POc NEED TO stop listening to mass media, it is imperative to their survival, even more so than OBEYING LAWFUL ORDERS of cops! They also need to stop having an attitude of getting killed and getting their family rich and "making a statement" for the community!!
So what if black people kill black people? That doesn't give police the permission to kill them. The whole complaint about obeying lawful orders went out the window when people started protesting Trump being subjected to lawful orders which he refuses to comply with. Floyd wasn't supposed to be killed, which is why police went to jail for it. When the people protested, even journalists got shot in the face by police. Police showed us their true colors by beating protestors.
Jan 6th was trying to end Democracy. Trump tried to overthrow the actual votes so many times, in so many cases, it was clear that was his intention. He is still doing it today. 2000+ terrorists stormed the capitol, scared the shit out of ALL the legislators, and tried to prevent Pence from announcing the election results.
Screw you for trying to make this about your racist attitudes and not what really happened!
I think he’s referring to the people who are in jail because the confessed to their crimes.
And again, none of then had dreams, most were let in and even the "q anon shaman" was escorted around by cops (tried to open a locked door then directed him to an alternate route - making them co-conspirators OR making it entrapment... which was it?)
Dude, get your head out of your ass. The Qanon shaman confessed, plead guilty and gave a video statement. Stop with the fucking conspiracies. THEY DID IT. THEYCOMMITED EVERY CRIME THEY ARE ACCUSED OF.
The fact that he dis do what he did does NOT negate the FACt that the recently released video shows a cop trying to open a locked door for him and when he couldn't he (the cops - there were actually multiple ones) direct him to another route to enter thar locked door! Either they are co-conspirators OR agaib, they not only merely "allosed" him in, they all but pushed him inside then arrested him for tresspassing.... and you can't "tresspass" someone that you GUIDED in to a building/secure room!!
I’m fine with arresting everyone who was involved, who committed a crime. But I’m not going to debate conspiracies. Prove what they did in court, not here, or move on.
Tou think ACTUAL VIDEO is "conspiracy"... man you are so partisanly blind, you are exactly the kind of brai washed that yhe Dems love!!
No, I think what ever YOU THINk happened is a conspiracy and I don’t fucking care.
That's the problem, you don't care that ACTUAL FACTS exist that contradict YOUR OPINION! Google "confirmation bias" and you can WATCH WITH YOUR OWN EYES...but, oh, no... its NY Post...so you can't believe your lying eyes
https://nypost.com/2023/03/06/jan-6-footage-shows-cops-bringing-qanon-shaman-to-senate-floor/
Not what I said. The shaman was arrested because there is evidence he committed a crime. Then he confessed.
If YOU have proof of a crime, to arrest whoever you think is guilty.
What I DONT care about, is what you THINK happened. Because you have no idea who they are, what they’re ACTUALLY doing, where they’re may it may not be taking him. You dont ACTUALLY KNOW A damn thing. Every single word. Out of YOUR mouth. IS conspiracy theory. And I don’t give a shit what you THINK happened.
Blinded by partisanship....Cult worship and confirmation bias!!
The ONLY reason you are saying what you are saying is 1 - the video shows people on the other side as you And 2 - Cult News Network told you "no co text", so you say "yes massa" and Parr their talking points.
WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE then cops IN UNIFORM escorting him around!
Also, his defense did not have these clips to show the judge/jury for his defense, so I don't particularly care what he confessed to Behing Biden WITHELD EVIDENCE just like he sicked his politicized IRS on the Twitter Files news reporter!!
And the aliens are behind this? Or is it the lizard people this time? Ooh wait, it’s the Illuminati, isn’t it? I fucking knew it.
Your answer to the IRS (and the DoJ) being wraponized by 1 side is to make light, make a joke about it... this administration is the EXACT reason that 2A says "to ensure a free state" and the actions of this administration only post-justifies Jan 6th and it won't be long before it is taken further and we will have no other choice but to stand up and fight...I mean, this admin has already shown its true colors about 1A and their attempts to start a "ministry of truth" circa Orwrlls 1984! And they KNOW if you take away 2A by trying to disarm the people it will only solidfy their stronghold on you fools!
You lot have been setup and conditioned to accept government lies for over a decade! Much, much longer... they have been teaching you for multiple generations and then they gave you the "final exam" on your willingness to accept government lying to you when you guys excuse "I did not have sex with that woman" and then accepted the excuse "that depends upon what your definition of 'is' is".... then fast forward a short while later made you had a 1st lady telling you to be good little nazis and "turn in your neighbkrs" for telling racist jokes...and now we are 1 step away from arresting comedians for speech like Canada has done, and you freely accept the political imprisoning of dissedents...its been roughly 1.5 years and still some Jan 6th proyestors have not received their CONSTITUTIONAL right of a speedy trial and due process (like the WH withholding video evidence" you gladly accept the wraponization of IRS and what you likely don't know is happening behind the scenes is that people are being targeted by the ATF for SELLING THEIR OWN PROPERRY - which most states allow (with provisions) but when 1 guy tried to sell 1 handgun (not even a rifle not even an AR15) he was told by the ATF that he needs to cease and desist LEGAL ACTIVITY or else he will be charged as an "unlicensed dealer" (gun "dealers" re thise defined as their purpose of existing is earning a profit from selling guns", but the ATF is using this VAGUE definition to harass law abiding citizens!! Be a good little Nazi and never question your dear leader with no clothes!!
What the cops in that video did was essentially a private security gaurd for a rich/famous person house, taking a random stranger up to the front door, trying to gain access to the house that way (for the stranger) then the security gaurd tells the stranger "let's go around back, it should be unlocked and you can go inside that way"
Then go arrest them. I honestly don’t know why you have such a hard on for this?
Because you people only WANT TO believe what you want to believe no matter what actual facts exist...and you ca us the cult!!
Don’t be butt hurt someone made a joke about ur dumb president. Notice how when you guys make jokes about Biden like he’s falling up the stairs and shit we don’t get mad
because y’all don’t even like him
Really, we didn't vote for him because we expected him to accomplish anything. We voted for him because he wasn't Trump.
Last time I checked liberals get mad at everything lol
Last I checked you shoot everyone lol
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Rent free
Lmao I love how y'all have the preprogrammed responses when you have to jump to daddy's defense.
Hunter would like a word. Hillary too......
Where?
in your head. now this is where you say nuh uh, right?
Don't think I've made a hunter post in my whole life, but keep projecting if it makes you feel better
Hmmm, guy tells a joke, you whine, but I'm the sad one? LOL! You keep pretending you aren't a trump fan! lay with dogs, get fleas.
Insane how much asspain my 2 word response has caused
call it what you want, man, being a trumper is a losing proposition.
Alright man, sorry I hurt your feelings
Oh you didn't hurt my feelings in the slightest. I find it amusing watching people get pissy over a joke. Like when you said "rent free"......
The man who tried to overthrow democracy, stole classified documents and refused to return them, helped Saudi Arabia's MBS get away with murdering a journalist and got the LIV golf tournaments at his courses in return, and continues to encourage violence against police ... yeah.. that's the guy we're supposed to "forget" and stop talking about? When he's in jail, sure thing. Because you don't let those kind of assaults on America go unanswered.
Wow look at all those words. Get off the internet and stop pretending your oligarchs are any better than their oligarchs
At least you don't argue any of it is untrue. Let me know when you find an example of Biden making $141 million off the US government while President, like Trump did while golfing. Or show me where Biden encouraged violence against police or journalists. Lets see how your oligarchs stack up against the current loser the Democrats put in place.
You've changed my mind, I hope this joke finally takes him down. You're very brave to speak out against him.
And you are brave to support Trump after all he's done.
You're so terminally online you're projecting trumpism onto me. Is Trump in the room with us now? Did he also hide your keys this morning?
Your insults bounce like stale cheetos off my Kevlar school uniform.
Bruv what?
I hope you are a liberal bot because otherwise this is simply sad
What's SAD (and frightening) is that after everything that's happened, that criminal Trump still has supporters.
That is truly messed up!
It is Sad, I'll agree with you. It is also 100% true.
This joke came from a conversation with a friend about OJ and the OG asshole was Johnny Cochran back when OJ was on trial. I remembered the joke and modernized it. I just couldn’t think of a bigger media asshole than him. Sorry dude.
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Hunter Biden’s crackpipe?
I appreciate the attempt to "no, u!", but crackpipes are not over a foot long my dude.
Crack bongs? I don’t know. I’ve never smoked crack.
I don't know what's scarier somebody voting for Trump who isn't a crack addict or is
Mix in some punctuation. Scarier yet- someone who defends the job Biden is doing.
Go talk to Mike Lindell, he can help you with crack pipe details.
Not a fan of him either. Really don’t like shitty people on either side of the aisle.
Aw. Poor fella
He was ok ..no war economy was ok ..
The economy tanked under Covid while Trump lied and said Covid was just the flu and wasn't serious, and then almost died from it.
Trump did end the war by surrendering to the Taliban, so that's something, but Biden sure would have liked better terms to be stuck with. Do you remember the good times when Trump killed an Iranian general in Iraq with a drone strike? Yeah, that's still causing issues.
Rose tint my world, keep my safe from my trouble and pain.
better check again. several armed conflicts started under trump. and the 2020 crash didn't happen?
you think letting the crazies have a strong voice and spew hate etc that lead to Jan.6 is not a war?
GarbagecanKicks t1_je0qhnb wrote
An Oscar.