The hardest part was imitating her husband's voice.
Comments
fullFlick73 t1_jdj6wl3 wrote
That's why you date a blind woman whose husband is a mute.
curveball_82 t1_jdj6zoo wrote
r/twosentencehorror
[deleted] t1_jdj7upy wrote
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GIlCAnjos t1_jdjh3ew wrote
If a mute guy managed to seduce a blind woman... Then I assume his physical assets will be hard to imitate
mnotgninnep t1_jdjnatj wrote
That went dark very quickly.
[deleted] t1_jdjopbj wrote
Brooooo omg! 😂😂😂😂
orionparrott t1_jdjzb5x wrote
I dated a blind woman but she left me. She just couldn’t see herself with me.
Surfing_Ninjas t1_jdk0fnw wrote
I like dating blind girls, it makes it harder for them to see someone on the side.
unripenedboyparts t1_jdkerq7 wrote
God, that is dark grim.
JB_Newman t1_jdkhbv7 wrote
I see what you did there. Shame she didn't
chall_mags t1_jdki153 wrote
A blind girl was giving me a handjob and she said my dick was the biggest one she’d ever felt.
Turns out she was just pulling my leg
RecalcitrantHuman t1_jdknp8x wrote
Harder than hiding the body?
Salnj t1_jdkolan wrote
I gave her a facial and shot her in the eyes...
match_ t1_jdkpcqa wrote
I like dating homeless girls, you can drop them off anywhere.
ivapeooo t1_jdkz5qo wrote
right, it works, cause he wont say shit
bshaddo t1_jdl1ken wrote
It’s funny because it’s without her consent.
666pool t1_jdl46re wrote
I like dating girls in the mortuary, you don’t have to buy them flowers.
RandomName39483 t1_jdl8pfw wrote
I don’t know what she sees in me.
ContributionGrand138 t1_jdlfkcu wrote
Christina Applegate doesn't find this Funny guys 🤔
Affectionate_Pipe74u t1_jdlhwx1 wrote
She started hating the blumpkins
[deleted] t1_jdlk6iw wrote
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PrA2107 t1_jdllaxs wrote
Thanks for the advice
YesFuture2022 t1_jdlm39g wrote
Not funny
YoyoOfDoom t1_jdlq6ch wrote
Who cares? It's not like blind people are gonna read it anyways. 😆
YesFuture2022 t1_jdlqkrp wrote
You believe People that are blind dont use the internet? The real joke is in the comments
nattycharl t1_jdlrujz wrote
Never saw that one coming!
Extension-Camera3668 t1_jdltdwq wrote
I couldn't see where it was going.
SonicMutant743 t1_jdltwz8 wrote
You actually took this shit seriously?
>The real joke is in the comments
Yeah no shit.
OdysseyTag t1_jdm0glw wrote
Guys like you are hard to find
Original_Amber t1_jdm1b4z wrote
She got butt hurt.
TheseUSERNAMEisTaken t1_jdm7etz wrote
Braille screens gonna find you
the_greatest_MF t1_jdm9qjw wrote
r/TwoSentenceHorror
Dogbyte8888 t1_jdm9rn7 wrote
Love is blind
[deleted] t1_jdmcqno wrote
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secret369 t1_jdmd6fd wrote
She didn't see that coming
Least-Barnacle-3182 t1_jdmgjox wrote
Imagine if she sees this..
Dashover t1_jdmhmv4 wrote
The hardest part was getting her dog off my leg
dejomatic t1_jdmhtf6 wrote
It's twew! It's twew!
Puzzleheaded_Rip9425 t1_jdmk6q9 wrote
'scuse me while I whip this out
NopeNopeNope2020 t1_jdmk789 wrote
"twoo" is the way Mel Brooks spelled it.
oximine t1_jdmkh5y wrote
I was dating a blind girl and during sex I jizzed all over her face! She never saw that cumming!
EmbarrassedRisk2109 t1_jdmkn6p wrote
Jokes about physical disabilities are not Jokes.
Xeriph t1_jdml1a5 wrote
Yeah, you really have to have a mate that you see eye to eye with.
[deleted] t1_jdmlq84 wrote
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[deleted] t1_jdmq2ez wrote
I would have guessed the punchline to be: "She didn't notice", for some reason.
Mean-Ad-310 t1_jdmqn2n wrote
I was driving when this popped up. My immediate response was “then I went blind myself and had to stop seeing her.”
bce69 t1_jdmqofn wrote
She doesn't see much of a future between us!
Mean-Ad-310 t1_jdmqrtg wrote
Yeah but how did he spell schnitzengrubers?
davva2004 t1_jdmremr wrote
I was dating a blind girl too. Got 20% off and my windows look lovely.
Dylan-42069 t1_jdmrrdw wrote
I had a similar experience but she said she couldn’t see us working out
ParkingNo9826 t1_jdmsksz wrote
I don’t get it
woistmeinkopf_1 t1_jdmu4gh wrote
Like some "romantic" 80's movies
Forehand_Bets t1_jdmue4f wrote
She gives great hand jobs though, you've really got to hand it to her.
woistmeinkopf_1 t1_jdmvbmq wrote
Necessary-Net-9951 t1_jdmxrwl wrote
A bind person wouldn't see the joke anyways
EmbarrassedRisk2109 t1_jdmz2w8 wrote
No comments
mutsumar t1_jdn21la wrote
I dated a blind girl but she could not see that i was using her
NJCotton t1_jdn2wdz wrote
You mean "in a cemetary", as the flowers are already there.
mAhoganySauerkrauT t1_jdn2zeh wrote
Just like her eyesight
Visual_Razzmatazz_19 t1_jdn37om wrote
You must go on a lot of blind dates.
HeyWhatsItToYa t1_jdn3l2e wrote
I just figured she wasn't seeing anybody.
Puzzleheaded_Rip9425 t1_jdn6kwi wrote
Damn. Reddit is dark. What the hell is wrong with you people? The worst part is how well I fit in.
richardec t1_jdn7u0g wrote
You really have to hand it to her...
scratxhy t1_jdnarb3 wrote
Who’s gonna see it? Her?
MarisaWalker t1_jdnatdv wrote
Let me help...."blinds" r window coverings, the girl worked in a store selling blinds
scratxhy t1_jdnau91 wrote
Especially for her
Big_Cheesecake_7586 t1_jdned4o wrote
Nah
Big_Cheesecake_7586 t1_jdneess wrote
Ok ok
sfgiantsbeatla t1_jdnfprs wrote
You gotta hand it to her.
Inner_Dependent3766 t1_jdnj1ja wrote
I think she just didn’t see anything in you lol
Acrobatic_Matter_109 t1_jdnj3kq wrote
You're assuming that blind people don't have a sense of humour. That's very narrow-minded of you.
[deleted] t1_jdnj7ob wrote
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Dangerous-Weekend125 t1_jdnjjts wrote
I'm with the other dude. Seems like a little more explanation might be in order.
Dangerous-Weekend125 t1_jdnjsi4 wrote
Oh ok! I never realized females who sell blinds are called blind girls. Makes sense now.
Jpirish t1_jdnkjln wrote
window blinds
SugarTaleCountry91 t1_jdnlah6 wrote
Jimmy Carr?
rabindranatagor t1_jdnlr4c wrote
I hate to disillusion you, ma’am, but you’re sucking on my arm.
YoyoOfDoom t1_jdnnuuo wrote
If I was a blind person with a screen reader I probably would have done a spit-take and said, "I should have seen that coming."
YoyoOfDoom t1_jdno6u0 wrote
She knew anyways. Her husband doesn't trim downstairs.
AcousticBob t1_jdnsp7q wrote
I still don't know what she sees in me!
Allsaintconnection t1_jdobz93 wrote
I bet she didn't see that coming.
dejomatic t1_jdoc5i6 wrote
Schnitzengroobers
JamalGinzburg t1_jdohgh9 wrote
A nun was in the shower when the doorbell rang. She realised she didn't have a towel, so yelled out "who is it?" Response came "blind man."
Relieved she wouldn't need a towel as the man at the door couldn't see, she ran naked to answer the door.
"Great tits. Which blinds need to be fixed?"
Mean-Ad-310 t1_jdomt5a wrote
Aw dang I was hoping for at least 1 umlaut 😁
Classic-Ad8849 t1_jdr32u7 wrote
LMAO you're going to hell for that one xD
MarisaWalker t1_jdrw5aw wrote
Well, it's sort of like slang. Like calling a girl working at Sunglass Hut, the sunglass girl😊
Dangerous-Weekend125 t1_jdrzvcy wrote
Oh I get it now. Any professional female's job title is [blank] girl ☺️
MarisaWalker t1_jdsougz wrote
Yep, w. guys is just "a guy" like " I have a guy,"
wellchicane475 t1_jdj66lr wrote
If you mess up dating a blind woman and she dumps you, just change your voice and try again!