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Do you still undergo therapy or do you plan a goodbye tour with friends and family?

How did you initially realize you had testicular cancer?

How has your outlook on life changed now? (If it has at all)

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I’d say keep fighting. But that’s easy for me to say.

Perhaps if you go through with radiation and then do the mRNA treatment, you can pull off a miracle?

You’re a douchebag lmao

Mann, da hast du ja echt die A-Karte gezogen. Was wünschst du dir für die Zeit, die dir noch bleibt? Was möchtest du gerne noch machen oder erleben?

Machst du dir Gedanken darüber, warum es dich erwischt hat, also ob du irgendwo verstrahlt wurdest oder Umweltgifte abbekommen hast? Oder nimmst du es, wie es ist, und versuchst dir noch das restliche Leben schön zu machen?

Cancer and Alzheimers are my two biggest fears in life. How does your brain cope, knowing there's a high chance of death? Do you feel peace or are you depressed? Thanks for this AMA and good luck!

I'm so sorry, man, that's so tough. I wanted to ask, how do you manage your feelings? Don't you feel extremely sad or angry at life for this happening to you so young? I can't even imagine. I have a medical condition that worsened suddenly at 24, making me lose my career. It's irrelevant compared to what you're going through, and still I can't help but feel so angry, and I don't think those feelings will ever go away. How do you deal with this?

Literally this

What are your options, Palliative care or continued treatment? Are you afraid? Why/why not?

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From someone I know: when it was double the size of the other.

Regularly check for the size of them. But not too often, because gradual change might make it less noticeable.

+1

Wow, a story that will be on a late night series of some medical show. On a serious note, is there any chance that you'll make it to recovery?

How did you feel post op when they removed the initial tumor? Keep fighting man! Wish I had better words..

Whats your happiest memory?

Wow, sorry to hear that, man. You are so brave, I admire that you are willing to share this very vulnerable time with us in this fashion. What are the things that you focus on at this point? And what are things you want to do but fear you might not have enough time to? What is something that brings you joy despite the circumstances? And fwiw, good luck. Maybe there is a miracle that can still happen. If there's some combination of treatments that miight work, do try it out. Peace to you.

I guess my biggest question would be what you are doing mentally to cope with the knowledge of your own demise? Have you accepted it?

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. At least you can say you put up a hell of a fight and are going out swinging. Fuck cancer and your bravery is inspiring.

When the time comes, rest easy and know you’ll be in a better place than this crazy world.

How are you handling the news? Seriously I don't know how I'd handle it in this situation and you're here on reddit doing an AMA. Where do you get your strength?

Hast du Lebensweisheiten? Besonders an die Menschen, die das kurze Leben nicht zu Schätzen wissen. Was hat dir das Leben beigebracht, was du den anderen gerne beibringen würdest?

You‘re a barbarian and should be shamed for all of eternity as well as sentenced to drink every Norgerl in every Hofbräuhaus.

I was at work the 23.12.2019. I had already seen a few videos people ( namely fourious pete https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCspJ-h5Mw9_zeEhJDzMpkkA) who had testicular cancer. So because why not check my marbles on the company clock? I felt a small bump and decided - so that i can have a peaceful Christmas to go to a the urology immediately - take the rest of the day of. Christmas is HERE :)

My doctor got down there to feel ma ball and said ' I cannot feel anything but lets make an ultrasound of the ball. He saw something now i'm here!

Still, go for you checkups people, its over immediately and if you don't get a freak of nature cancer (like me) then u will be fine! Recovery rate is >90%

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will you do heroin one of these days?

Wow, sharing this mustn't be easy for you. Do you have a good support network around you ? How is your family taking all this ?

Well that sucks.
So what now?
Stoping treatment and world traviling until you drop or something?

while size is a factor - any unevenness of the testicle and partly hardening of regions are very relevant symptoms - i'm no doctor though. Just go every half a year- all of this takes maybe an hour and you can have a relaxed half year :)

My fiance is from the country and have plans on moving to Germany eventually. Are there any places I should visit in Germany that stood out to you?

Will you go down trying to fight it or go out with a bang trying to do and met as much People as possible?

You got dealt a bad hand dude.

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Where abouts did you feel the bump? On the ball itself?

I’m sorry man. You seem like you have found your peace. If so, could you describe the exact moment when that happened?

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Have you heard about plicamycin? It has some historical success for testicular germ cells. Not approved in US but maybe Germany. It fell out fashion after platinum drugs were developed.

My heart bleeds for you. What piece of advice would you give those of us who have taken life for granted?

Are you scared ? Do you believe in God?

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What did you think about yourself when you were child/young? Is there something that you find harder then accepting death?

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I found a little bump once, same thing, doctor couldn't feel it, went for an ultrasound, never heard back. The little bump is still there and it always worries me, but I'm assuming they would have called me if it was bad...

Have you ever been to the ocean?

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You paid for the appt. Call your doctor and ask for ultrasound results. If anything to relieve stress.

Was the bump on the ball or just in the sack?

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Anerican here. I don’t know anything about German healthcare, so I wonder how the financial side of this experience has been. My grandmother died of breast cancer after hiding it for years so that she wouldn’t have to put my grandfather through the stress of paying the medical bills. Have the treatments you have undergone been financially straining to you or your family?

Favorite meal?

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Call the doctors office and ask. Sometimes there are mistakes! You have to take charge of your own health care.

Are you afraid of dying? Have you felt like you have done all you wanted

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Please never assume you haven't fallen through the cracks, call them.

Don't assume that. Think of wherever you work. Think about how things get lost. Think about how mistakes are made there. Think about that time someone forgot something important and it messed up a bunch of other stuff.

Now think of your doctor's office. They're just a bunch of office workers with a couple of specialists. They fall prey to all the same mistakes as offices everywhere. Normally they should call you back to tell you the scan was negative. They didn't. Why? Because it was negative? Or did your result get picked up with someone else's and put in the wrong folder, unseen?

Call back and follow up. It's probably nothing, but why risk it?

I have a similar thing. The docs had called me back and told me I had what's called "Testicular Microlithiasis" which is essentially little calcium build up's in the testies. There seems to be quite mixed information in regards to it but from what I've been told and seen, it's usually not something to worry about unless you or your family has a history with Cancer.

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Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your situation. A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with spindle cell carcinoma. In treating him for that the found another tumor in his brain. What should I do to help him, or what can I do to make this time easier on him? We still hang out and when we do we basically ignore the fact he has cancer. We try not to let it change who he is or how we treat him. We've organized a cash bingo for him in April to help with money and bills. Its hard to think about losing him but everything he talks about his dr apointments things seem worse. He's undergoing his first radiation this week. Last week was first chemo. Soon he'll be having the brain tumor lasered.

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I had this, they called it a testicular pearl. Its a bump, enough to scare you but tiny in comparison to what you should be worried a out.

My friend who had Testicular cancer said it was about the size of a chick pea. Considerably large when you think about where you're finding it.

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Much love brother. What brings you joy right this very moment?

Do you have a bucket list you want to finish? How will you spend the rest of your time? Family? Travel?

Wish you the best of luck!

Fuck cancer!

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I work with many people who are terminally ill of cancer. First of all, fuck cancer. Second, stay strong and enjoy the happy moments.

Third, how do you contemplate death? Are you scared, or maybe even excited/curious?

It may sound weird but patients have told me knowing they are facing death soon changed their outlook on it. One of them told me they were excited to leave the life of knowing it wouldn't get better and curious to finally discover the secret of death and the afterlife. If the question is too personal please feel free to either not answer or pm me.

Anyway, you're awesome for doing the AMA and again stay strong brother.

Seeing a urologist twice a year for a ball review would bankrupt most Americans. There’s no way my insurance would cover that.

Hey mate, that's not great to be sure but hey, I'm going to hope you have an amazing adventure in your next life. The universe is too vast and mysterious to not have somewhere for that consciousness to go to.

We are all going to die eventually mate so it's all about collecting as many meaningful experiences along the way! Hopefully you had loads! What are your thoughts now on death? Have you heard of folks that use psychedelics before death to offset any fear of mortality?

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Do you find any relief in confronting death? So many people, your age and younger, look at their situation, and the general direction of the world, only to see a great deal of hardship with little prospects and no mechanism to improve things for themselves. I don’t know what life you live now, or what you will be leaving behind, but it sounds like you have a fixed amount of time. You can reasonably predict every consequence for you actions going forward; to what extent do you feel like you are not responsible for yourself anymore since your future has been decided for you?

Edit: also, do you anticipate and afterlife? What existential philosophy did you hold before your diagnosis? Has it changed in light of everything? Has it served you well?

Hmm i hope i can answer this, so that I'm satisfied - bear with me English is not my first language:

I hope you mean how i do see my life as whole, in regards to that i know now its is over in a few weeks?

Actually, since they said there can nothing be done anymore, and i hat halve an hour to process, i felt relieve and until now this has not changed. Don't get me wrong the initial message this like bricks. But I would my describe myself as realist. After there was tumor in my lungs and liver after the invasive surgery, i prepared for not being able to make it. At least mentally. I told this my family and friends. But People actively WANT to believe 'ahh its gonna be ok'. I'm not that type of person. I see data - I interpret data - i hear professional options - i make conclusions. So until now i can say that i'm not:

• Angry - at whom?
• Negotiate - with whom?. Cancer is nothing that you can fight - you endure the treatment and if you're lucky you get to life.

I'm:

• Sad of course for my newly wife - The love of my live, i know her since 2016 - i fell in love with her instantly. I know how se looked what first said to me. I remember thinking this is be the one. She had a boyfriend so i friend zoned for 8 years - just being a good to her. Permanently working on myself to deserve her, but not to interfere in here relationship. I lost 70Kg, threw myself into sports - Crossfit/Olymic weightlifting/Marathon running and nutrition. I went on to become really good Software-Engineer - my dreamjob nonetheless!

The first week we got together - after almost 8 Years - had the most crazy week of my life. We said our first 'I Love you' at 20.12.2019. Three days later i got my diagnosis. I asked here - you gonna to this with me? She didn't even think about it. After my initial treatment was done and everything look good, she got diagnosed with cervical cancer. So we dealt with that - because that's how i always imaged being in a relationship - as a TEAM! (she my first everything by the way). Then Corona hit but we had the most fulfilling and loving relationship i could have ever dreamt of. We went from being colleagues to seeing each other the whole day as we worked in the same team. It was wonderful.

Which brinks me to my outlook of life now.

• I did always what i wanted to to with my life
• I achieved more academically and in the workforce than i could have ever imaged. I was the first one in my family go study a STEM mayor no less with grades i'm very proud of. After being 160kg heavy - i made myself into the most capable me that i could. I was able to squat > 150kg for reps, > 180kg deadlifts for reps, i ran a half an a three quarter marathon. I was (for what was possible for me) peek fitness.
• I got to be together with "MY PERSON" alone this means more then the rest that i wrote down here.

I did all my treatments to ensure best chance of survival - even if it destroyed me while doing it.

I did everything 100% or didn't do it at all. By living like this, I can sit here with 31 years and say it sucks i did not get more time - but i have no regrets, and in Summary my life is a win.

I bet there are quite a few people who life to 80+ and cannot say that.

This helps me :)

I'm sorry to hear that. How does this affect sperm production? Have you ever thought to freeze your sperm hoping in something for the future?

I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but what effect is this having on your finances and living conditions? As an American, such a diagnosis would be doubly awful knowing the toll on the family finances on top of knowing it’s a fatal condition.

Knowing fate is knocking at your door far too soon is awful, and I’m very sorry you and your family have to deal with this.

What's the most important thing in life?

I once felt a bump. Had a panic attack and went to the ER. Turns out it was a Tick. Not even joking.

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I am so, so sorry. If there's a God, I hope you give them an earful.

What fun/feel good things are you going to do over the next few weeks? I hope you get loads of loans and max out all your credit cards. Without a doubt, you deserve to have as much fun as you can.

Damn, sorry to hear that. I'm recovering from colon cancer myself. Chemo is terrible. Are you good on money? Are you able to do some fun shit while you're here?

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The last manufacturer of plicamycin shut down production in 2000... and it sounds like OP is too far gone with the number of organs that now have tumors.

This was beautifully written, friend. Thank you for writing it. You loved living while living, and I agree completely that people “live” decades longer without living at all.

How is your person dealing with your prognosis?

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>I did everything 100% or didn't do it at all. By living like this, I can sit here with 31 years and say it sucks i did not get more time - but i have no regrets, and in Summary my life is a win.

This is so inspiring man. I'm so glad that you've had some real love and accomplishment and gotten to prove yourself TO yourself.

Thanks for doing this ama and sharing your story.

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In case you don't get an answer from op, with their socialized healthcare Germans generally pay very little even for extensive treatment like this. Here's a study indicating that the main financial burden from cancer is loss of income:

>81% (n = 199) of the patients reported out-of-pocket costs, and 37% (n = 92) income loss as a consequence of their disease. While monthly out-of-pocket costs did not exceed 200€ in 77% of affected patients, 24% of those with income losses reported losing more than 1.200€ per month. High financial loss relative to income was significantly associated with patients’ reporting a worse quality of life (p < .05) and more distress (p < .05).

https://bmccancer.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12885-020-07028-4

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How do you deal with the fear ? I always hear when these things happen people say oh you deal with it an get on with it because you have too but I can’t comprehend that. How do you not let this make you terrified every day

Can you feel things like love more strongly now?

Man fuck cancer. Sorry about your situation and thank you for sharing this story. Being a hypochondriac this makes me want to rush to the hospital and get checked for everything especially being 31 myself. Also admire your bravery throughout your terrible situation.

Might be a stupid question and I am not trying to be rude.

I just want to ask does it hurt?

I was told that cancer didn’t hurt, however I have seen my uncle go through stage four and it seemed horribly painful.

Hello /u/Reiiser,

Unfortunately, your topic does not meet our requirements for an AMA. Please consider posting in /r/CasualIAMA instead.

If you'd like to appeal, please click here to send a message to the moderator team.

^(This comment was made by a bot, but a real live human reviewed the post and made the decision.)

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Yo! Get well soon, G.

Are you: Team Edward

OR

are you: Team Jacob?

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hi thank you for posting. are you in pain? i hope you are not. thank you.

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I have brain radiation right now - because you need those treated - you decline pretty bad if this goes untreated. (Might also come of a bit confused in these answers radiation is no fun bear with me :))

I cannot to any tours - if have have to shower i need 10 minutes regeneration time.

But people are visiting and i have a lot of videocalls :) I say my goodbyes to my friends and spend time with my wifey. Its very calming and i feel good with it :). ( OH YEAH AND DRUGS! mainly cannabis) My German heritage forces me to to do what i normally hate with fiery passion: bureaucracy. But somehow i want every taken care of. I don't want my loved ones to have deal with sending out 15x (probably not correct number) Fax Papers, that have to be stamped by three different government entities AND those have to be probably singed by Kanzler Olaf Scholz?

GET A GRIP ON OURSELF GERMANY ITS 2023. That kind of shit was maybe ok 1990 but we got a few years maybe take take a look at some processes and MODERNAIZE. (sorry rant over :P)

Thank you for the answer.

I have a relative there who has private insurance on top of state(?) insurance and tends to denigrate the national insurance or care as being inadequate. He also has cancer. I’m not sure what the benefits are as he obviously has to pay extra for it vs the relatively minor fees for the national option.

Is any German in fear of losing their home/flat due to that loss of income? I assume one gets social housing provided, so they’re not in danger of being on the street, but all the same it would be traumatic to be evicted.

(Reading my comments myself it shows the difference between here and there. We live in fear of losing everything as much if not more than we fear serious illness)

> our requirements for an AMA

Harsh.

Unless OP willingly pulled himself off statutory health insurance (which you aren't even allowed to do under a certain income level), all he's paid is 10% copay on some things, up to a certain yearly limit. Keeping in mind that the total value is a reasonable one to begin with.

Only OP can reply about financial distress (loss of income is no joke once you're a few months into sick leave and they start cutting your pay), but Americans are uniquely fucked in a way no one here can quite compare to.

What is your favorite american meal or snack food?

You are amazing. Kudos! I suffer from cancerphobia and how you handle this and describe really shifts my perspective. Thank you and congratulations to how you live your life and how you face the end of it.

Boo. Yeah looks like only non-medical companies still manufacture it. It has shown efficacy in metastatic testicular disease though. Also prostate cancer and Ewing sarcoma.

I imagine you have been doing a lot of reflecting. What is the thing/memory that you are most proud of?

But I’d also be curious to hear what’s something you are least proud of? Or any regrets of not doing?

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That was beautiful. Thank you for your words. I think a LOT of people never find their person before they leave this world. I remember times in my life when I was moving on to the next step, and I came to the realization that no matter how long I would try to hold onto that time in my life, it would end no matter what I do and the time would never be enough. Doing the best you can with the time you have is important. I hope we can all live as full a life as you with whatever time we have left.

Hey man, this sucks, sorry it’s happening to you.

I’m wondering if they had removed your testicle w the bump instead of leaving it, would that have stopped the same type of cancer from spreading 2 years later?

Wish you happy days, enjoy what your can buddy, and take care.

Thank you for the reply.

“Uniquely fucked”

A level of backhanded exceptionalism only we can admire.

Have they told you what it will feel like? Or how long you have to live? Not knowing how soon it is coming or how it would feel would make me anxious.

Regardless, do you have time to knock anything of your bucket list? Anything we can help with?

How easy / hard is it to find a good hospital? Are there long treatment queues before you can begin therapy?

Unsubbing

Interesting, and I don't know the answer, I'm just a fellow American who was researching it (because of this ama) right as I saw your question so I thought I'd post that link / tidbit.

But I concur, it's horrible how one of our first thoughts about health as Americans is "this is going to bankrupt me" . And according to the conclusion from that German study ...

>Distress and reduced quality of life due to financial problems seem to amplify the burden that already results from a cancer diagnosis and treatment.

:) I'm getting not tired to explain this to people i hope this makes sense.

• With cancer you CANNOT fight - you endure medical threadments that destroy you. But you hope it destroys the cancer faster than you. I know people mean well when they say 'keep' fighting. But the semantics here CAN be interpreted as 'You just have to do more! Fight harder' This is just not true and not fair to people who endure such treatments.

I'm not one for miracles i'm realist. If i get healed then there is a explanation why and how it worked.

Life is not fair or unfair - life happens.

Sorry to hear that. Was it a seminoma or non-seminoma? I'm curious cause I just got done with treatment myself and the doctor told me to see him in 3 months, even though I skipped through most of my bleomycine course (doctor's orders, fucking thing fried my lungs), it sounds like you went through so much more and still got worse, is there a reason or a theory as to why?

You should really get into opiates before it is too late (too late as in building up resistance to them and not get the buzz) since you do not have to suffer any consequences from withdrawal.

My brain does not have to cope anymore - my dead is 100%. There is nothing that can be done anymore. My life was good - i feel at peach - and i get to try the good drugs now - without having to be afraid of addicted :D

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You will not end up on the street in any EU/EES nation because of these kinds of illnesses. Might not live as before if the economy takes a toll on you, but there is a safety net keeping you under a roof.

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Eine angenehme Zeit - und einen angenehmen Tod :) Hört sich jetzt evtl hart an, du und ich haben sicher mindestes zwei Sachen gemeinsam - wir sind geboren. Wir (auch du) wirst sterben. Die zwei Sachen sind sicher :)

Ich sehe nicht, warum ich mir Gedanken machen sollte? Was ändert es? Jeder kann Krebs kriegen. Hodentumor ist, glaub ich ,sogar der 'häufigste' unter Männern? Wenn es Umweltgifte sind - wären es dann nicht auf einmal viel viel viel mehr Fälle, die jetzt auftreten würden?

Fakt ist, ich sterbe - Fakt ist Krebs ist ein Arsch - Ich konnte nicht mehr tun. Darauf bin ich stolz :) Ich hab alles versucht :) Auf ein paar letzte schöne Wochen :)

Fax? Such modern tool they offer to you? I still need my old typewriter to communicate with DRV and the BG :)

You know, I don’t want to condolence you, say it stinks, you know that way better than I do. But that your body is so weakened and such, yea, this isn’t ideal for goodbye trip, though I would have wished you one sincerely.

Trotzdem alles Gute! Ich hoffe für dich auf ein Wunder, obwohl alles gegen dich scheint.

man this right here is why I only RARELY go to this site and hate every visit.
my god can you people have a crumb of humanity even just fucking once?

Did you try to read Stoic philosophers?

Marc Aurel and Seneca!

With their wisdom it is possible to cope with your situation.

dum spiro spero

(Solange ich atme, hoffe ich)

Ya dinguses, This was a great ama and clearly resonating with a ton of people.

>Ask Me Anything topics fall into two categories:

>Something uncommon that plays a central role in your life.

Gee, this topic doesn't meet this rule at all. While cancer is terribly common, having this aggressive, full body cancer at such a young age and knowing you only have a few weeks left is not common and clearly a topic of great interest to readers.

Ich wünsche dir beides.

Ja, du hast recht. Es hat keinen Sinn, nach dem Warum zu fragen. Aber viele machen es halt trotzdem. Ich wollte nur wissen, wie du so drauf bist.

Kann man irgendwie dazu beitragen, dass du eine schöne Zeit hast?

Hey :) I just never quite did grasph the concept of being angry at 'life'. Live wont care? so why whould i not take what i have and make the best out of it. I left this out of my original story, because it has nothing to do with cancer. But at four years old my cousin (by accident) smashed a hammer into my left eye (it should even be visible in proof picture under my post) It basically blinded me on that eye (i see like 7% with that eye). I had 6 surgeries and multiple other treatments. I was not allowed to do sports because it could destroy my eye. So i went couch potato and weight > 160 kg at 24 years old. NOT ONCE in that time i was angry at him or the situation. What would rage change?

Was i sad? Yes of course!, Was i angry? No.

That was my (uneducated) understanding. I’m wondering what “roof” one would keep or end up with.

It is absolutely horrible.

BAD BOT

This. The number one person on your healthcare team has got to be you, no matter how good your insurance is. Even here in Soviet Canada if you aren't your own advocate, you will be overlooked at one time or another.

You have such a great perspective on life. I'm bummed this post got pulled, but you have a ton of questions left here and I'll keep reading your answers if you keep typing them out (as will many people, I believe)

Pretty sure there was a post here a few days ago about a woman with two clits which is ok but not this xD?

Yup. That one is still live.

EU/ESS countries got different rules, so the standard of living will vary. I know "sick" people in both Sweden and Norway living on the government (tax payers) being able to buy their own home. Might be extremes, but you will at least have a decent appartement in either of these countries. Thinking about it perhaps Sweden and Norway aren't the best examples if we are looking for social misery. But you will still have guarantees within EU/EES, regardless of country, and you will for sure at least have a normal "commie flat".

You didnt look and see the tick?

Why was this removed?

I think Germany (and perhaps Japan) is one of the last countries to use fax in daily business. :)

I try repost here :

https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/10rts0o/im_m_31_years_old_from_germany_and_am_dying_of/

&#x200B;

if it is removed there as well, well at last i got to talk to here for a little bit :) it was fun while it lasted! Have a good life Folks! Be nice to each other :)

I absolutely know. I actually own one and use it regularly because of bureaucracy.

No i haven't and now i don't have the time :) At the moment i feel i cope ok - but a persons psyche is very fragile - who knows how i will be feeling if the end comes. We will see :)

Yes i had a seminoma - but it turned out to be a mixed seminoma - some cells did not respond to platin (which should theoretically hinder my cancer cells from multiplying and thus dying faster then they can reproduce again).
I'm not a doctor but as far as i know a pure seminoma has over >90% success chance with the standard PEB therapy!

I live in Regensburg - Germany, which incidentally is known for a huge and very good University Hospital - lots of young and eager doctors - i could not have been in better care!

It caught me a bit off-guard 10 or so years ago when I had to troubleshoot some software supporting fax features. I was like "who the hell still use fax nowadays?!", apparently germans. It isn't as prevalent in Sweden but sometimes it is used for legal binding documents, although not usually the preferred method. Must be closer to 25 years ago I used a physical fax machine.

No, because they can't - Its very hard to predict how someone will die - intial guesses where two month - of which one of, i will feel 'ok'. The biggest problem right know is my lung. I bleed quite a lot. But there are many people here whose only job it is to make my dying as smooth as possible.

Today i joined something that is called sterbehilfe: https://www.sterbehilfe.de/ . you pay money and when you decide for yourself, now every day is just torture - they prepare for you to basically put yourself into a position where you can end your life with their assistance - but you by yourself have to push the button? At least that how we interpreted it.

I hear you, and I apologise. I didn’t mean “to fight” in that sense and I certainly didn’t mean to imply you aren’t doing everything you can.

I also don’t believe in miracles in the religious way, it was just a shorthand for extraordinarily unlikely outcomes.

What I do mean to say is that if you continue to endure these things for as long as there are things to endure - is there a chance, no matter how small, that the mRNA treatment eliminates the cancer cells and you can live longer afterwards?

I think choosing an infinitesimally small chance of success in this matter is better than choosing not to try it. It is easy for me to say, but I have also been in similar situations in the past (enduring treatment with no ability to affect the outcome myself, having hope against tiny odds, etc.).

I was born with a severe heart defect so in my life I have had a series of surgeries, every few years, and many changes of medication and hoping that I’d keep living until the next breakthrough came along. So far it’s kept pace.

I asked the same question to my doctor - there is no definitive answer that can be given.
If the cancer would have reoccurred on the same testicle? i would also think about the possibly. But the cancer occurred, after 2 years, in my stomach next do a lymph node. So my guess is good as yours, or any of the other doctors.

i saw it in your post history that you made a gaming table with your dad you were really proud of. That’s pretty awesome! It honestly looks really great and I have so much respect and admiration for you. I couldn’t do that.

Im sure your dad is also super proud of you, u/Reiiser!

You mean my life overall?

Best memory: Hitting all of my goals:

• Getting MY person i love her so much
• Studying computer since and graduating with a score of 1.9
• Working as software engineer and making a name of myself
• Overcoming my Body issues and being ripped and CAPABLE ( Even tough i destroyed my skin by being way to overweight)

Least proud:

• Letting myself getting very overweight AND BEING OK WITH IT FOR A FEW YEARS
• Not having the chances i could have had because i was to self conscious and thinking i'm not smart enough - never let anyone tell you you can't do something. Even good friends told me 'you really should think about trying university... its hard!'
  I'm so glad i tired. I rather fail then don't try

Well said!

Who in his RIGHT f*** mind would ever be Team Jacob?
I now Edward is not perfekt - all this "i have to protected her from ME" nonsense brings my blood to a boild. First of all thats the woman that you love and she loves you THE AUDACITY to decide over her head. I can't even. But he loves her with all of his hearth - i can respect that.

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Maybe someone can help me here i cannot by the love of GOD find a good quality in Jacob? Even though i don't like the 'imprint onto Renesmee' story arch, because it feels like lazy writing to me? BUT AT LAST I DID NOT HAVE TO THINK ANYMORE ABOUT JACOB AND BELLA CAN BE HAPPY WITH EDWARD

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Well now i have to some some pot - you made me upset :P

I should have CAR-T Cell treatment this monday 30.1
Everything was prepared for me. The only reason i was not able to start on monday where findings of brain tumors - you cannot have CAR-T cell mRNA therapy with brain tumors - the cant remove them as fast as my other metastases will kill me. So basically it comes down to a timing problem.

Thanks :) that one was really cool :)

No, not yet. And i got morphine so i should be bearable if it really comes to it :)

I love that you called this out. Language matters and can be uplifting or demoralizing. Even when somebody tries to be uplifting it can be demoralizing, as in this scenario. As you said, there is no fight with cancer; undergoing treatment is a chemistry/physics experiment where, hopefully, one comes out of it with no cancer remaining and the ability to heal from the brutally difficult experiment that killed the cancer.

I wish you well and hope you keep on enduring!

Thank you :)
I have accepted - and was i wrote somewhere else - we all are born, we all die - this is literally the only constant in life :) All People before me had to die, so i think it has to be ok :)

Exactly. The „OK“ from the fax machine counts as legally binding delivered. And you even can prove what you have sent.

Especially in Pharma / Healthcare related things fax is still pretty common, though declining.

Hello if you ave inside i love take it - i have benzos - the feel is ok, but i'm more of a weed smoker so maybe my dosage is to low? - i take 2mg Tavor in the morning and two in the evening - i would nothing that i feel describe as a buzz.

Two days ago, i took 1.3 mg of hydromorphon acut - i did feel nothing, did not even sleep. It was 3 in the morning. this night i took two of the hydromorphone tablets - i was able to sleep and felt 'good'? but i had no buzz?

I was very atheltic/muscular 1 year ago - and i now weigh ~110 kg and am 185 cm big - if you can give me info i would appreciate it. You can also send me a pm if you like :)

What a great attitude. I hope your remaining time is filled doing as many of your favorite things as possible. Positive vibes and love spread your way.

Friend of mine assumed that and it ended up being cancer, the office just forgot to call and tell him his PSA was way up. Was a much harder recovery a few years later than it would have been. Call and check!

• Getting together with my wife
• Finished my Bachelors Degree in Computer Sience

:)

Wouln't those loans not just straight go over to my family? With cancer - in my stage, there is no enjoying of sex possible... But i got me a GOOD share of that beforehand :P always a risk if you together with the most beautiful woman on earth :)

Palliative care - I'm not afraid at the moment - i have no power here anymore. I have good care everyone tries to help me to have a smooth passing - no more i could ask for

I also took it for granted :) Thats how our brains work. If you can take a moment now - and appreciate it more? That would be a win in your book :)

I made peace - Of course i'm thinking about it - but not much. I can just not now (yet). So this would just be wasted cognitive energy for me? At least that is how i feel about it.

I don't really think there is life after dead? BUT i would love to to have some kind of karma thingy so, people who are not good to other people ON PURPOSE have to explain themself on SOME level :D

I would lie, if i say i have not thought about it - but it sounds very exhausting - especially now that i got benzos and morphine?