Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

xPlus2Minus1 t1_j9pfckp wrote

Yo but every day is the same I literally have to do the same day everyday over and over and over and over and over and over and this will not change until I die

Days and nights aren't actually split by anything but our perception of them, it's all one continuous existence

0

PristineIntention176 t1_j9r5qu1 wrote

You are the only one who can change it

2

xPlus2Minus1 t1_j9uy0w5 wrote

I know that and it's too much for me, it's hard for humans to comprehend but I don't want this and I shouldn't have to endure it so others don't feel uncomfortable

1

PristineIntention176 t1_j9w1y2s wrote

I apologize for my comment. I don't know your situation, and have no idea what you've been through. It was wrong of me to presume to address your feelings. I'm sorry you're in such a dark place right now. I hope you can find your way through it, and I hope things get better. I'll be thinking of you often, I'm sure. Lice to you and those you care for.

2

xPlus2Minus1 t1_j9ysky4 wrote

Thank you, that's extremely mature of you to say, very very few people in this world have the emotional strength to acknowledge and accept that level of someone else's pain in the way that you just did. I truly appreciate it.

Please don't worry about me too much. If I don't find peace in life, know that I will find it in death, and to me in life, that is a relief. Just thinking about it lowers my blood pressure. I feel more calm just knowing there's a way out. If I first my eyes and picture it, it's the most genuine smile I can muster-- the sadness is thinking of those left behind. But at they've told me for so many years, I need to put myself first, and it seems like that will end up being what that means.

1

PristineIntention176 t1_ja1f4qo wrote

I hope not. I hope you can find happiness in life. Or at least peace. I'm not qualified to advise you, certainly not to judge. Please think of those that love you. I don't know if you're a parent, but you're certainly a child of someone. I've always heard parents say, "I'd die for my child! Or I'd kill for my child!" And I always think, sometimes the hardest thing is to live for your child. Don't know if this relates, don't know why I said it. I wish you the best.

1