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capresesalad1985 t1_j9p5h9x wrote

Reply to comment by TKCerbs in [Image] It's never too late for anything by heavilyremake71

Omg I’m turning 38 in a month and I feel the pressure to make a decision. I just got married last year and we know we want them, but I wish I had another 5 years to “grow up”

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codq t1_j9qipl3 wrote

Do it now, in five years, you’ll be five years older.

Trust me, you don’t want to be wrangling a toddler when you’re old—and you’ll never be younger than you are right now.

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JustADutchRudder t1_j9r4ca4 wrote

Or, do it 10 years from now and rent out your basement to a young couple for free nanny work.

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Fool_Apprentice t1_j9qvgvc wrote

I'll make this easy for you. You will regret it either way.

That said, you'll love your kids even if it was a stupid decision (and it is, it always is). If you don't have kids, then you will spend your time wondering what might have been because you will be too idealistic to realize that you made the right choice and you'll go to your grave sad.

My advice is make the wrong choice and have kids. You will regret it.

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Sucks_to_be_u24 t1_j9r4lh2 wrote

Umm that’s pretty broad generalizations of childfree people(we don’t all sit there with regret growing older ) . Having kids is not for everyone but I agree everyone who wants kids should definitely do it when they’re little younger .

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QuantumHope t1_j9rq749 wrote

Plus it isn’t always a choice. Infertility is real.

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capresesalad1985 t1_j9r6xhy wrote

I fully appreciate this. Your right that either choice you make…you can’t help but wonder what the other path would have held.

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Buddha473ml t1_j9r86jb wrote

The grass is always greener on the other side.

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FarginSneakyBastage t1_j9rw945 wrote

You just have to remind yourself that you're living the life of the you that didn't make your choices, and they're really envious of you.

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BalotellisMoustache t1_j9ri9pc wrote

I love this because it really summarizes how I feel about it even though I'm in the dumb idealistic age lol. When I finished undergrad in my early 20s I was like damn, do I want to work really hard on developing my career (which in my field of interest would include significant international travel) and end up being an old dad, or do I want to set limits on how much stress I want now and find more manageable albeit less rewarding career paths in order to focus on becoming a father. I feel like in my relationship that starting a family will be expected much sooner than my late 30s, maybe even late 20s and honestly it feels like the right choice. I think it's going to make life so much harder but I think we'll be okay and it will be worth it in the long run. I sometimes feel the pressure to not have kids or to wait but it just feels like such an integral part of who we want to be (without kids we both feel like we'd be wondering as you said) that if anything I feel like we can grow more out of it than get drained by it overall, especially the younger we decide to do it.

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