Not allowing your unemployed thirty year old who refuses to keep a job live in your house and eat your food while he plays video games 8+ hours a day is NOT "hating your kids".

For fuck's sake man, no.

The worst thing OP's parents can be blamed for is allowing him to live in thier home doing nothing since he was a teenager. It's unacceptable and allowing it isn't love- ITS ENABLING.

My mum did the same shit for my brother until he was 49.... When he dropped dead from untreated high blood pressure because even though she held his hands, paid all his bills and wiped his ass on a daily basis- she couldn't actually "take care of him" because he was a god damn adult who needed to get his shit together.... And now he's dead.

Yeah, my husband still lived with his folks at 28 when we got together- because between his 70k a year career, and his hobbies doing tech for local theatres- he was almost never home and it didn't seem smart to waste his money on an apartment. But he also helped his parents pay the bills from age 18- he wasn't living there rent-free doing jack shit. And he is unbelievably skilled - he's not only a freaking programmer, an electrical engineer, and is extremely talented in all trades - he could easily be an electrician, a mechanic - so yeah, living at home didn't make him a loser.... But re-read OP's post.

Are you really trying to say that this guy doesn't have MAJOR unaddressed issues?