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woodenpony t1_j8hmddt wrote

POV: You are Sisyphus

jokes aside, sometimes a perspective change instead is needed, rather than shifting either of the reality and expectations

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Teastainedeye t1_j8hnc3m wrote

Expectations are overrated. They are limited by a perspective that is trapped forever in the past.

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Rex-A-Vision t1_j8hni8d wrote

I do appreciate the message but a lil pushing on the other side of reality might actually speed things up. Just saying...even the world around you can be moved if you try hard enough.

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joemondo t1_j8hqjcj wrote

So keep lowering your expectations to exactly where you are?

Not very ambitious.

How about aligning your expectations to the possible?

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Igeticsu t1_j8hu3ge wrote

Pretty bad equation if you ask me. My reality is that I'm single. My expectations are that I'll remain single. That doesn't mean being single brings me happiness.

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hardgeeklife t1_j8i37r4 wrote

“An incursion occurs when the boundary between two universes erodes, and they collide, destroying one or both entirely."

^^^Just ^^a ^^little ^^multiverse ^^humor

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daguil68367 t1_j8i8fpm wrote

Isn't this demotivating? You're lowering your expectations to match reality instead of changing reality to meet your expectations.

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BallBearingBill t1_j8i9q9c wrote

I don't think happiness is directly proportional to expectations. I think happiness lays within the journey to where you place your reality. I say "your" reality because two people can live side by side and perceive the world differently. Each would then define their realities differently, perhaps one is happy and the other isn't.

​

Expectations are very arbitrary and dynamic so I won't even go there.

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kezar23 t1_j8ie1ze wrote

So this is what Pucci meant.

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slotcargeek t1_j8ie5r2 wrote

So...lower expectations to match your reality equals happiness? Got it. /s

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JCPRuckus t1_j8iggkt wrote

Replying to BallBearingBill (#1,807,579)

I'd argue that in your example expectations are what is coloring each person's view of an identical reality. Things look good if reality is meeting or exceeding your expectations, and they look bad if it's failing to meet your expectations. Saying, "place your reality" is just a different way of saying "set your expectations" when you don't want to say the word "expectations" for some reason.

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JCPRuckus t1_j8ihemj wrote

Replying to slotcargeek (#1,807,900)

That's a simplification, because unsurprisingly, memes suck at philosophy. Buddhism would say that lowering your expectations to match reality "minimizes suffering", rather than "maximizes happiness". Because even if your reality is unpleasant, you no longer have the additional suffering of being disappointed that reality isn't matching your expectations.

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garry4321 t1_j8ihs98 wrote

Thats very "external locus of control" thinking which is known to make people miserable in life. Change reality to meet your expectations, you DO have the power.

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JCPRuckus t1_j8ihxz8 wrote

Replying to daguil68367 (#1,807,469)

That all depends on what you want to be motivated to do. Do you want to be motivated to try and change reality, even if you can't, or do you want to be motivated to find "happiness" (actually "lack of suffering", but we'll deal with the meme's language for now).

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oxyconsello t1_j8iiyys wrote

My father knows how to get it. Now he is healthy, happy and friendly.

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stealthdawg t1_j8ioopi wrote

Happiness = Reality - Expectations

if Expectations are greater than Reality, you have negative Happiness (Disappointment).

If Reality exceeds expectations, you're happy.

So keep your expectations low and you'll always be happy.

​

Tat's the instantaneous effect, so really:

H(t) = R(t) - E(t)

But over time, our expectations can also shape our reality right? As our expectations increase, our reality generally does as well:

E(t) = A*t

where t is time and A is some factor by which our expectations rise. Lifestyle creep, could be one example.

and R(t) = mE(t) + C

where C is your reality spawn-point (trust fund kid vs inner city slums kid, perhaps?), and m is the factor by which your expectations are able to influence your reality.

You'll note time (t) isn't in this equation directly. Some might disagree, but I don't think it makes sense to include time as a contributing factor If your expectation of reality doesn't increase, your Reality won't either.

But we know that expectations can't drive reality linearly, at least not forever, and eventually our reality will level off even as our expectations continue to rise. In fact, each increase in expectations is likely to lead to a smaller and smaller increase in reality (diminishing returns).

R(t) = a * E(t) / (E(t) + n)

where 'a' represents your reality 'cap' and n is a factor that affects your ramp-up speed.

And at the end of it all, if reality tops out but expectations continue to grow, then as reality falls further and further short of expectations, happiness continues to increase.

Limit[H,E->∞]= -∞

​

Don't ask me why I decided to write this out.

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Prak_Argabuthon t1_j8isw1x wrote

This is very, very similar (in fact... possibly even identical?) to Buddhism's idea of "the root cause of all suffering is desire". It's also very much aligned with the Philosophy of Stoicism. It's also, tragically, impossible for some people to achieve, due to some types of neurological disorders.

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MatrixMoments t1_j8j43o7 wrote

Are we going for peak dumbness here? I'm gonna have to lower my expectations for this subreddit.

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PBlove t1_j8j552m wrote

Meanwhile me being a Chad does the opposite.

I change reality INTO what I desire.

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AkagamiBarto t1_j8j5qke wrote

You can also try to drag reality towards your expectations eh. Way more difficult, often unethical (but not always)

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Schniiic t1_j8j7blp wrote

Ha, I already expected to be broke this month so I guess I should be happy now

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NearbyDark3737 t1_j8jdbkg wrote

Rare that this happens. Glad I can have happiness in other ways

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joopityjoop t1_j8jjeh4 wrote

Keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed.

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DanielWhatUPs t1_j8jnzgz wrote

This looks like something a Fox News pundit would make because the “poor have only themselves to blame for being unhappy because they expect too much”

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War1412 t1_j8jry1v wrote

How about give up on expectations? Pursue what is worth pursuing without being tied to any particular outcome. Accept them as they come.

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FluzooTV t1_j8jss7o wrote

I tend to be a person pushing from the left side hmmm…

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songintherain t1_j8jv3m1 wrote

He should be pushing the other circle. This looks like lowering your expectations

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Enorats t1_j8k0l0z wrote

So, we have to adjust our expectations to match reality? Just, settle for the way things are and live with it? Nothing can ever be improved. This is just how life is?

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aTaxingSensation t1_j8k6sgb wrote

I think some of you are missing the point. Pushing that boulder does not look easy and simple; you have to really push yourself to make your dreams (in this case, expectations) into reality.

It is not easy to realize your expectations and that is why you need to work hard for it.

It is not about lowering your expectations at all.

Once you are able to realize your dreams (expectations), then you will feel happy. (i.e, passing a certification exam, building your social and professional network, meeting body fat percentage goals, or whatever your dreams may be).

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Fidelio___ t1_j8k6ym7 wrote

Having no expectations is the key! You only have to work with reality now, see.

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MCGaming1991 t1_j8kkqvp wrote

Maybe just remove the expectation bubble entirely.

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Khazahk t1_j8ksb30 wrote

Replying to Delicious_Ad_1853 (#1,806,474)

And typically a new reality. Reality is what we perceive about the world around us. There is cause and effect and then there is how you perceive having a flight canceled after waiting on the tarmac for 3 hours. Same reality, but not everyone on the plane feels the exact same way about it. Yes it would suck, and yes I wager everyone on the plane would be mad or distraught or disappointed, but out of the 300 people on this plane, someone is not letting it ruin their day or attitude because it was out of their control. That person has shifted their reality to better fit their expectations without necessarily lowering them.

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juddshanks t1_j8ktadq wrote

Lol well at least this makes sense.

Not exactly sure I'd call it motivational.

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StillSundayDrunk t1_j8kxirn wrote

Dad definitely won't beat me tonight

Dad probably won't beat me tonight

It is what it is :)

​

Welp, it's certainly not universally applicable

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woodenpony t1_j8l7zbe wrote

Replying to Khazahk (#1,813,019)

Thanks for the explanation.

Sometimes you can (and should) stand firm with your aims and expectation, and change the surrounding instead. At least I won’t give in easily like how OP pushes the expectations away from what he/she originally want

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LightOfTheSeven_ t1_j8li8i6 wrote

So we should expect more mass shootings and environmental disasters?

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zohash t1_j8lkxzb wrote

Looks like I'll never achieve happiness.

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Lopkop t1_j8lohov wrote

Shouldn't this be the guy pushing his expectations partway to the left and then pushing his reality to the right to meet it?

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yongrii t1_j8ltg78 wrote

You know, he could roll that other ball..

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Cyrkl t1_j8lzrue wrote

I read an analysis that this might be the reason Nordic countries top the happiness lists - the prevailing feeling is life should be good enough, it will not be extraordinarily amazing for the vast majority, so the focus is on good life now, not amazing in 20 years.

Seems like exactly the opposite to the American hustle culture, where focus seems to be on grind now, hope to reap later.

It would be interesting to see how a comparison between early career end goals look like between those countries look like, the % of people thinking about being at the top of their profession by the time they retire.

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chris131289 t1_j8m1vq4 wrote

So if life sucks and you expect life to suck you are happy?

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GeekGalaxy1 t1_j8m82xp wrote

Replying to joemondo (#1,806,300)

Well I took it as. If you're unmotivated do little achievable goals. Keep doing them till you're head registers that you can achieve things and keep setting the bar higher.

As Jordan Peterson says "Clean your room". The first step to getting your life in order.

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Baebel t1_j8ma9vj wrote

Gives me OCD vibes.

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Thyandar t1_j8mj6sb wrote

What nonsense.

My expectation is to not be fired, If I'm fired,

If every day I expect to be fired then I am fired, then i'm happy that I was right?

I'm unhappy not because of the gulf of expectation but because of reality.

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thanyou t1_j8mjfra wrote

Sounds like giving up. "accept that you can't change things and the sooner you do you'll be 'happy'"

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SirVanyel t1_j8ml85p wrote

Replying to JCPRuckus (#1,808,134)

Correct. You aren't able to control reality over the short term, but you can control how you react to it. It takes years, decades, to change your life, but you can change your reaction in weeks or months, and to be honest, removing that misery from your mental space will open up room for things that serve you better

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SirVanyel t1_j8mloio wrote

Replying to Igeticsu (#1,811,350)

Well, you're not gonna stop experiencing stuff, so why invite the misery of experiences you aren't currently having? That mental and emotional space could be better spent investing in yourself for the future you, a version of you that's better for relationships.

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j8mp1oe wrote

Replying to SirVanyel (#1,816,609)

You're absolutely right about the time scales and I think the graphic makes more sense if you factor that into the message.

Can I lose 50 lbs today? No, that expectation would bring suffering.

Can I undo that gluttonous trip to the buffet yesterday? No, that expectation would bring suffering.

Can I go for a run right now? Yes, if I have everything I need to do so.

It gets a little more interesting when you're talking about the near future...

Can I go for a run tonight? Maybe... It depends on what happens between now and then. Sometimes legitimate obstacles appear and I'll suffer unnecessarily if my expectations don't match that reality.

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Igeticsu t1_j8ryk77 wrote

Replying to Delicious_Ad_1853 (#1,816,727)

If I know exactly what I want out of life, that being to find someone, get married, have kids and be a better father to those kids than my dad was to me and my siblings, then obviously in this case, being single makes it quite difficult to work towards that goal in life. That's not too say I'm unhappy now, I feel like I'm doing quite well. But if in ten years time I'm no closer... Yeah, then it's a problem.

Lowering my expectations to "Ohh maybe I'll die alone" doesn't automatically bring happiness, just because that might become a reality.

In conclusion: Meme-philosophy sucks

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j9le1j9 wrote

Replying to Igeticsu (#1,830,694)

>But if in ten years time I'm no closer... Yeah, then it's a problem.

What's the alternative? If you're still single in ten years, do you think adding bitterness and depression to the equation are going to help you find a partner?

I think not. I think the age-old paradoxical advice is correct... you're most likely to attract a partner when you've found happiness within yourself.

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Igeticsu t1_j9leetq wrote

Replying to Delicious_Ad_1853 (#1,925,747)

Well, as I said, I'm quite fine where I am now. But giving up on your life goals, just because of some internet voodoo philosophy meme that took 30 second to make... No, that's not the way to find happiness

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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j9mdw30 wrote

Replying to Igeticsu (#1,925,780)

Who said anything about giving up goals? The meme is about expectations.

You can want to find a partner, you can try to find a partner, but if you expect to find a partner, as if the universe somehow owes it to you... well, that's setting yourself up for a lot of unhappiness.

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