In July 22’ my spouse died of cancer and I lost my home bc I lost my job to be his caregiver. I would still make the same choice as those moments you can’t get back and they’re more important than money but it’s put me in a bad position.

My three kids and I have (platonically) been living with my ex husband since October 22’. My mom passed from a Covid related sudden heart attack in 2020, my dad passed 24 years ago, so I had no family to fall back on. I’m very grateful he let us stay here but it’s been stressful on everyone.

I have been waiting since September 22’ for the Emergency Rental Assistance that I fully qualified for from the State but recently there have been government employees as well as a local Mayor arrested for stealing the funds. At least one congressman has began demanding information on where the funds have gone overall; basically there is serious fraud by the trustees of the money in my state so the assistance isn’t coming.

I have been learning front end web development to build skills and get a higher paying job. I cannot afford housing in my area with my current employment, rent for even a 2br house/apartment in a safe area of town is close to $2000 a month.

Most places require you to make 3x the market rent to qualify which is roughly 6k a month or 72k a year. I don’t make anywhere near that right now.

I’m just feeling down bc there’s no rental assistance I hoped for and although I am learning at a good pace I’m not qualified yet to apply for those positions.

I feel like such a failure today, unable to get decent housing for my kids and support us, I could use some kind words!

Comments

PURPStheillest t1_j89xiac wrote on February 12, 2023 at 7:24 PM

#1,790,232

It may not mean much but hang in there! I think the best thing you can do sometimes is to just keep believing in yourself, even when things are falling apart.

firefox6292 t1_j89xrya wrote on February 12, 2023 at 7:26 PM

#1,790,248

Keep up the great work! There are better times ahead.

bj12698 t1_j8a3owz wrote on February 12, 2023 at 8:06 PM

#1,790,517

What a sick system you are having to deal with. Keep reminding yourself it is NOT YOU. It is a horrible, abusive system that 1) you couldn't get paid to take care of your sick/dying spouse and 2) now you are penalized because criminals stole funding that should be helping you and your kids.

You may be able to (someday) help other folks also struggling because of our broken, disgraceful systems. But you are not the failure here!

Also keep tapping in to feelings of gratitude for the things that are going well. Every day. Every "little" thing. It helps our energy. Other good things happen, just from remembering to feel gratitude. (In my experience)

Somerset76 t1_j8a4seh wrote on February 12, 2023 at 8:14 PM

#1,790,568

I feel so bad for you. I was once homeless (living in a scary motel with my infant daughter). The past few years have been awful. Lost my mil, 21 yo son and mom all within 18 months. Some days it is difficult to breathe. Hang in there and have faith.

daniellaf15 t1_j8a5ot7 wrote on February 12, 2023 at 8:20 PM

#1,790,615

You’re doing amazing love!! I think you’re trying your hardest and there is hope for you and your kids. Not many could handle the circumstances you’re in. Moms deal with so much!! You’re amazing!! your children are watching and are so thankful and proud to have you as a mom!

TheEarlyStation22 OP t1_j8abykh wrote on February 12, 2023 at 9:02 PM

#1,790,939

Replying to Somerset76 (#1,790,568)

I am so sorry for your losses. Things can be so difficult at times and in reality there is little to no assistance. Hugs 🤗

TheEarlyStation22 OP t1_j8ac8op wrote on February 12, 2023 at 9:04 PM

#1,790,951

Replying to daniellaf15 (#1,790,615)

Thank you so much! It is definitely difficult but I’m pushing though as best I can. Being a mom is the hardest job ever, not only are we responsible for their livelihood and growth but there is a new level nor responsibility on us to be good role models. Even when sometimes you just wanna get in a car and drive to the beach, park and live in a hut for a while. We have to do better for them, it is a lot! 😂

TheEarlyStation22 OP t1_j8acogb wrote on February 12, 2023 at 9:07 PM

#1,790,974

Replying to bj12698 (#1,790,517)

Thank you so much, I tried to keep my job but unfortunately since it was corporate there was nothing they could do as their rules were set in stone and HR was not able to budge and put me on a temporary leave. Things are difficult but I know it’ll come back around.

I actually started a group for other people in my state who have been affected by the dept of community affairs practices, I’m hoping we can come together and find some type of support from the state or federal government in the future to rectify this situation. They won’t listen to one person but they can’t ignore 100! Hopefully I can help other this way bc what they’ve done is wrong.