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TreatThompson OP t1_j852x3f wrote

It’s crazy to think that things in life are so finite you can count them

Let’s say you’re 30 years old right now and you live a long life of 90 years:

- If you live in a temperate zone, like Canada, you only have 60 more summers to enjoy. If you put all those summers in a row, that's 15 straight years of summer. Imagine turning 15 and never getting to enjoy another summer ever again.

- If you read four books a year, that leaves you with 240 to read for the rest of your life. Right now, it feels like you can read all the books you want in the world. But nope, you only get 240. If you picked one a day, you could finish a lifetime booklist this year.

- If you go to an NBA game every three years, that leaves you with 20 more for the rest of your life. That’s about 45 hours, which is one workweek for a lot of people.

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waterinhere2 t1_j85dgt6 wrote

Why do you care about this? Just let life takes its course

When you to a cinema, do you count the seconds or scenes? No you just let the show carry on however it pleases

Why are some experiences better than others? They are just experiences to be enjoyed, even pain can be enjoyed, life with its up and downs

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Equivalent-Light-396 t1_j85f9ex wrote

I think you’re missing OPs point. Awareness of scarcity breeds gratitude.

Gratitude is the most powerful human emotion. It literally rewires our brains.

It’s not that any one experience is better than another it’s that all are limited and deserving of our attention, mindfulness, and gratitude in each moment.

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waterinhere2 t1_j85fjpk wrote

It also breeds fear

Ahh i do heavily agree tho, gratitude is extremely important

I believe balance is the word here

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Equivalent-Light-396 t1_j85ftdg wrote

The fear dissipates when you face it head on, at least it did for me.

I don’t have anything to fear anymore. I know I can be present and face hard things no matter what comes my way.

All of my greatest fears have become my greatest gifts and strengths

Edit: facing fears doesn’t mean no longer experiencing fear as an emotion. Emotions occur for a reason, they help protect us. Facing fears mean recognizing when an emotion is giving you helpful feedback and you should heed it versus an emotion that is helpful but not under the current context.

For example, climate change has always been one of my biggest fears and though it is real, I don’t need to live and inhabit the space of that fear. I can say “thank you body for informing me this threat is existential, I will do what I can, but I am also letting this emotion go”.

As opposed to, “I am on the edge of a cliff and am afraid I will fall off” facing that fear doesn’t mean walking up to the ledge. It means sitting down, telling your body “we are safe and yes, it is very high so we will be cautious while up here but we are in control and we can let the fear go”

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waterinhere2 t1_j85g0vz wrote

Wow ok do you have some advice for me to become the same?

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Equivalent-Light-396 t1_j85i30y wrote

I have done a lot of theology study searching for commonalities in the major religions, but I think there are other ways to like find and internalize this truth (meditation helps some people, time in nature others, psilocybin too for some).

I’ll share a dream though and maybe just ponder it a bit.

From the age of 19-25, I was dead set on not having kids. I was terrified that climate change would intensify in my life (it probably will) and that I may bear witness to supply chain collapse, war, famine, some really scary stuff. Even after I got married and created a beautiful life in a beautiful place, this fear plagued me.

One night, I had a dream. I was in my favorite part of the forest and as I laid in the moss to watch the trees, I was devoured whole.

I sank deeper and deeper past the roots of the trees into some utter darkness where I was presented with two doors.

Both doors contained imagery of my beautiful forest but one showed the forest burning, the other at the height of summer and the monsoons - filled with life, bursting at the seams.

As I approached each door, I reached out to touch the door. The door with fire contained immense human suffering. I saw flashes of war, murder, ra*e, death, wildfire, floods, and utter destruction. The other door when I touched it showed me birth, flowers blooming in spring, children laughing, family events, community, love, and love, and love.

I was then pulled back from the doors and a booming voice came down that said “you have a choice”

And then I woke up.

So the tl;dr is despair and fear and gratitude and joy are part of the duality of life. All are necessary, but we get to choose where we live.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hahn has a book where he talks about trying to save thousands of lives during the Vietnam War and he credits his ability to think clearly and face those difficult situations with courage - to being able to calm himself, practice gratitude and mindfulness for the opportunity - as difficult as it may be - given to him by the hardship.

The doors are always there for us to choose. The only choice we have is which choice we make.

And for those curious, I changed my mind on kids. 💕

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waterinhere2 t1_j85ljv7 wrote

Congrats on the kids part 👏❤️

As for Climate change, I personally believe it isnt as bad people make it to be, there is a lot of fearmongering behind it

I believe human population will decrease in the future and perhaps a scientific breakthrough or more of a conservation effort and success

It will solve itself i believe

As for me, i do would want to have kids but damn if my kids would go through what ive been thrugh, id rather they not be lol

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Equivalent-Light-396 t1_j85lvom wrote

My radical honesty was facing every aspect of the climate issue, reading as much data as I could, ignoring media, and consuming the science on it. I also went deep on how complex systems work, how they collapse, and how Empires have collapsed before.

I was a climate scientist before I became a software engineer.

Unfortunately, reality is harsh and I wanted to wish it away, in the end, I can’t control the world or the actions of others or what people choose to believe or not to believe. I can only control myself and my emotional response to the current conditions. It’s easy to dismiss the situation out of fear, I reached a point where the data and my fear were at odds and I had to deal with that.

I’m glad it’s such a cluster fuck. That clusterfuck set me free.

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waterinhere2 t1_j85nnjj wrote

I dont believe in climate change, I dont even believe the world exists until I open my eyes and it is there and I cannot believe there is such a thing

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Equivalent-Light-396 t1_j85of2c wrote

Ok. Just don’t take it for granted assuming it will always be there when you open your eyes 😉

That’s the point OP was trying to make. This is fleeting and the only certainty in this life is one day it and you and I will no longer be

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waterinhere2 t1_j85pzid wrote

What is being ? what are we without thoughts? There has to be a ground in which is these thoughts arise

A ground of some sort, an emptiness that things come on top of it

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tccpang t1_j85jidg wrote

I agree that being brave is, without a doubt, an admirable trait to have. But I think we should be weary that this fearlessness doesn’t become foolhardiness.

For example, if you have a fear of heights and you can overcome it by facing this fear head on, then that’s great! But that doesn’t mean you should start doing parkour on top of buildings.

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TreatThompson OP t1_j85famq wrote

Personally it helps me make the most out of finite things

If I think from a standpoint of abundance it’s so easy for me to be wasteful and take it for granted

I don’t wanna spend my summers indoors if I think about how I barely have any days of summer left

Hope that makes sense! Definitely not a one size fits all approach, but it helps me 😄

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waterinhere2 t1_j85fwtp wrote

I completely agree 🙏 my bad, its just that i felt what you said would make people fear or think they have to do things with urgency

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