I want to give you motivation to never give up. In 2020, I ended a long-term relationship, had to get 2 MRIs because they thought I had a tumor in my brain.

This was also the same year where I had my first and last suicide attempt. I felt so alone and so desperate to end my misery. I hated where I was working and I desperately had to leave. So I searched and looked for something else. Nearthe end of 2020, I landed my first medical job. I became a lab technician in a pharmacy. I felt very accomplished.

I started post-grad school back in 2021, where I had no idea what I was going to do in my life. This was 2 years after graduating university. I also wrote the MCAT this year too. I did pretty good but I allowed my dream of becoming a doctor die, because I knew it wasn’t for me. I had no idea that this would be the start to my life. I battled with my mental health and had to go through a lot to get to where I am now. I learned in 2021 that I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and that I wasn’t just being grump and lazy. I was dealing with insomnia. 2021 I dealt with a lot of trauma and issues I had.

2022 came and I was full time in school, working part time at my lab. It was hard to balance both but I made it by. I had to quit that job that gave me stable income to go full time in my clinical placement for school. It was scary and there were times where I’d be very close to 0, but I always had just enough in my account. I started to feel more comfortable around people, and began to deepen relationships. My dog passed away this year so it was very heartbreaking. However at the same time, I finally..after a long time, after working on myself for many years…I finally found a loving partner. I waited a long time for him. I always prayed for many years that I’d find a good man. It took 25 years, but here we are. He follows me on Reddit so if you read this, I love you hehe.

School has been difficult. I felt very frustrated at times, stressed, and I wanted to drop out many times. I felt like I had to give up a lot. I finally came to terms this year that I was abused-emotionally and mentally by many people in my life. I realized underneath the facade of being “tough” and “strong girl” I was breaking inside . I started to heal from that, and I’m still in the process of sorting out feelings and memories. But I continued to run Becsuse I made a goal that I’d finish this program and become an MLT. (Med lab tech). I studied long hours, while dealing with the loss of my fur companion and I’d have trouble sleeping at night. I developed PTSD from her death. My ever so patient partner has been very supportive.

As I write this, I’m about to end my program. I’m writing my final exam tomorrow and I will be graduating next week. The hospital is even offering me a job (so I hope if works out). I never thought I’d reach it. I never thought I’d see this day where everything I worked for, is finally coming to pass. I may be a slow bloomer but I wouldn’t have it any other way. One more hurdle- my national board exam, and then I can be a fully fledged MLT. I hope my parents will be proud of me. I hope my family and friends are proud. hope my partner is proud. I hope my dog in heaven is proud.

I want to tell you to never give up on your dreams. Never give up. The end may be far in sight but the journey in front of you is where you’ll grow the most. A wise man once told me, “you just have to show up”. You can’t change the circumstances but you can change how you approach them. I never thought I’d reach this far in my life. Despite all the issues I’ve faced, and all the many times I’ve wanted to give up, I didn’t. Keep moving forward. The past is done. The present is what we have so let’s live in it. ❤️