I don't mean to reply to everyone but I saw your comment on my way out.

All I can say my friend is that as long as you have life, you can change. Other people cannot determine whether you are or are not redeemable. Even if your past actions are not.

You cannot change who you were yesterday, but you can decide today how you will make up for your ill actions.

Victory is winning over your past & present demons, not giving into them.