The evening we went and saw Frozen II we had found out earlier that our first pregnancy was going to be a miscarriage. All of our steps we thought we were about to take crumbled in front of us. We didn't even know what the next step was. Most of the movie was a good distraction and gave us a break from our grief of the news... Then Anna sings that song and we both were ugly crying in the theater.

While it hurt and the scars from the pain will always be there, that moment with that song gave us permission somehow to be ok with not knowing and refocusing on what the tiny, small, next right thing is. The first one was to finish the movie. The next was to go get dinner. The next was to drive home. We had to break it down to survive those next few days and eventually the next right step became clearer and easier to anticipate.

If you're out there and you're reading this and it is resonating with you, you are not alone in your pain. I know my version of it and it still hits me at times. But I know I was able to walk (maybe crawl is a better verb) through it and grew.

Grief is such an amazing tool that I both love and hate because I don't get to determine how much of it I feel or how long it will last or how often it resurfaces. All I know is that when it does come I let it run its course; it's better than trying to avoid it or stifle it.