More likely: I can't - I might - Can I? - I will - I can't - I will - I can't - I will - I can't - I might - I'll try this other way - I can't - I will - Need money goddamit I can't - Can I? - Everybody thinks I'm crazy, can I? - I can't without support - I can't - I can't - I can't.
Life isn't as easy as those motivational posters says. Only willpower is not enough to overcome the chaos of trying to succeed in something.