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EscapedTheMatrix t1_j1hflpd wrote

See this is probably true of most people but I have legitimately just become really good at tricking other people into thinking I'm a good person, because I'm superficial and obsessed with external image. Other people seeing me as good and virtuous means more to me than actually being good and virtuous, and I'm aware of how fucked this is but that doesn't make it untrue. I feel like every kind/generous/selfless thing I've ever done has at its core just been an effort to earn people's love/admiration/respect. Even when it feels like genuine empathy, I know deep down that it's probably just so deeply engrained into my personality that in reality I'm still being superficial and disingenuous despite it feeling otherwise.

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LifeLearn777 t1_j1iwvye wrote

In a gathering, if you are worried a bout what other people are thinking about you, don't. They usually aren't thinking about you at all. They are thinking about what people are thinking about them.

In life, sort out what you value that is life giving for yourself and others. Then put focus and energy into that. This is authentic. Bless others. This is healing. Make your contribution because this gives purpose.

And here is a trick. If you are worrying about how others think of you, simply focus on truly hearing others and caring about them. If they feel heard, they will love you. And keep in mind that we can learn something great from ANYONE. So it is worth hearing people out.

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