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The59Sownd t1_j1ebtyn wrote

Reply to comment by PingouinMalin in [image] by _Cautious_Memory

I think this mentality could be a way of reframing regret. Often people can get stuck in regret, wishing they'd made a different decision. I think a lot of regret comes from believing things would have been better with a different decision, even though there's no evidence for that. So I think one can and should process painful feelings related to whatever is happening, without needing to compare their reality to an imagined alternate one.

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imlikemikenike t1_j1fjoi2 wrote

I call it the doom loop when this happens, and indeed a way to reframe the mindset does help when it feel like you’re drowning in guilt and shame.

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crujones33 t1_j1g500z wrote

I have regrets, lots of them. And I know they would have led to a better life.

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The59Sownd t1_j1g6dit wrote

You can't know that. Any different decision creates a completely different trajectory in life, and you can't know where that would have led you. Even if the choices we made fucked things up for us, we can't ever know where a different decision would have led us. Which is what makes regret so hard: our imagination is powerful, and create entirely different and happy realities for us.

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Lower_Analysis_5003 t1_j1f6mls wrote

Ah yes, a woman's rape and murder is for the best because who knows? Maybe she would have been double raped and double murdered! There's no evidence it wouldn't have happened instead!

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owlunar t1_j1fjve3 wrote

What the fuck are you talking about?

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COSMOOOO t1_j1fmoml wrote

They read something about regret and their mind instantly jumps to raping and murdering a woman.

The guilty wheel squeaks loudest. Anyone got a NSA agent they wanna point at that guy?

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Gyoza-shishou t1_j1fthja wrote

I thought we all had our own personal agent watching us 24/7

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