Submitted by majorgee t3_zlxf8v in GetMotivated
Poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Comments
majorgee OP t1_j07wlvq wrote
I don’t interpret it that way. When my uncle died, I experienced all those negative emotions you said. And I think what this poem ultimately is saying is just to try and be strong amidst those feelings, not necessarily to just try and cover it up with a smile like you’re implying.
Anyway, I might delete this, I just wanted to share something that motivated me to be a bit happier today, but maybe it’s an awful poem and most people will interpret your way. Sorry!
eazy7926 t1_j080gfe wrote
Keep it up! I too like it. You can be down and depressed and still manage a smile now and again. Sometimes it can be THAT smile that makes someone else's shitty day.
Thanks for sharing.
[deleted] t1_j080jjh wrote
[deleted]
Igottamake t1_j08347d wrote
It’s easy to grin when your ship comes in and you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile is the one who can smile when his shorts are too tight in the seat. — Judge Smails
WCAttorney t1_j088x5p wrote
I like the old-timey typography, keep it OP.
TyrionReynolds t1_j08bpn1 wrote
You scratched my anchor!
sambucasam t1_j08dqqy wrote
Keep it up, don't delete. For me, this is a reminder to be nice and kind to those around me, even when I'm having a hard time myself.
kurtfire68 t1_j08dtpd wrote
People that say this is to cover up other emotions…it’s not (imo). It’s persevering through the hard times without letting the negative change your outlook on life. I like it!
bobniborg1 t1_j08k2kh wrote
Once say a saying, "life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react."
Stuff happens, that doesn't mean you have to be miserable
in_Need_of_peace t1_j08kedi wrote
I like this, thanks for sharing
amicablebaby t1_j08l8n0 wrote
Needed this today, thank you
jaeger_master t1_j08mpto wrote
Came here for this. Thanks for recognizing the similarity!
majorgee OP t1_j08n0y3 wrote
I agree. While it’s perfectly fine to have negative emotions, you can’t let them rule your life. That is no way to live. Gotta always keep fighting and sometimes fighting means finding a way to smile during rough times.
majorgee OP t1_j08odxu wrote
That’s always a good reminder to get. Simple but sometimes easy to forget.
screenlicker t1_j08tv7j wrote
Particular-Crew5978 t1_j08ud5u wrote
I wish I could be better like this. I always get bogged down in anxiety and such. These people are the best. I hope I can be more like that one day
CowabungaDude01 t1_j08uy1g wrote
I needed to read this today. Thank you for reminding me not to give up
screenlicker t1_j08vi58 wrote
I believe pain and suffering and every emotion out there is inherently valid and that they are called feelings because we really feel them. They are real.
I also believe in the power of a positive attitude. It is not always easy and in some situations it may be inappropriate. I try my best not to invalidate any of my feelings of grief or loss or sadness or inadequacy by papering over them with a positive attitude. I don’t think that is helpful or genuine. I try to really feel what I am feeling and I will express it if I think that is a good idea, sometimes just thinking words and sentences explicitly, sometimes writing things in my journal, sometimes talking things over with a friend. After I have really expressed my unpleasant feelings, sometimes I am then ready to look forward and embrace a positive attitude. I don’t think anything you said is wrong. It’s just not what I personally took away from the post.
Particular_Ticket_20 t1_j08wdxk wrote
Ok, Pookie. Do the Honors!
majorgee OP t1_j08xaly wrote
Me too. When I get down, I get real down and it’s so hard to shake. But I think breaking the chains that our negative emotions cling to us with is something that definitely can be learned and become habit. Reading this quote made me conscious of this and that’s a step. And I’m trying to start small and not let the everyday problems get me into a negative place and be aware when I feel my negative emotions taking over. And by doing that I think I’ll be able to better handle myself and my outlook next time something traumatic happens in my life.
majorgee OP t1_j08yhrk wrote
Thank you for saying thank you.
Hope you’re doing alright
majorgee OP t1_j08ys5p wrote
Same. I usually am a cynic when it comes to quotes like this and think most are cheesy but this one hit home at a time when I needed to hear it.
Particular-Crew5978 t1_j08yyza wrote
Thank you for your insight. I'm very similar. I hope I can keep your wisdom in the front of the rest of my negative stuff. Cheers my friend
majorgee OP t1_j08zw8i wrote
Sorry if I sounded at all preachy. Maybe what I said is common knowledge but I’m in early 30’s and have never really been able to connect the dots to living a consistently happy life so far in my adult life. Cheers to trying, friend.
adam_demamps_wingman t1_j0909bq wrote
https://www.meibohmfinearts.com/artists/details/269
Reinthal and Newman made a lot of different prints.
voicebread t1_j092bs8 wrote
You’re getting downvoted but I agree, this perspective is trash and not healthy emotionally. I hate the notion of “being strong” all the fucking time, it’s okay to be down and we shouldn’t normalize or glorify carrying on like things are okay when they’re not.
“the man worth while” so everyone not smiling through the pain isn’t worth while? lmao okay
kenneld t1_j092mw3 wrote
Lol I knew this sounded familiar.
InterestingFee1850 t1_j092o82 wrote
total bulshit dude
poopiopeepio t1_j093tdl wrote
Don’t sell yourself short judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.
ToastyBoi57 t1_j098q8p wrote
Thanks for sharing this, peace on you and your family 😊
SuaveMofo t1_j09a262 wrote
Thank you guys, needed this
dunnright00 t1_j09avvw wrote
I christen thee, the Flying WASP...
TherealPadrae t1_j09ep8f wrote
When you lose someone it’s not time to breakdown and feel helpless. You need to honour their memories however you can and do better in life, for them. Feeling sad is fine but don’t let it overwhelm you they will live on forever in the passage of time nobody can change the past. Keep them alive by talking to people about them.
littlestlaver t1_j09g5x1 wrote
Had a very specific experience earlier which left me really feeling like I was losing hope and losing sight of who I am as a result - I can't tell you how perfect this was for me today. What a fortunate coincidence. Thanks for sharing it x
alemap1969 t1_j09hp5k wrote
Reminds me of my Dad. He was such a positive man. Thanks for posting.
majorgee OP t1_j09hxcf wrote
Neat, thanks for history lesson. I’ve been meaning to google them since I found this today so this was a perfect summary of who did this print.
brovacs t1_j09lejy wrote
I wanted to find a copy to print online but couldn't, so did a quick photoshop job that works for me - sharing in case anyone else would like it too! Not the prettiest, but hope it works
majorgee OP t1_j09lwe4 wrote
Happy to have even one other person find comfort in this poem like I did! Thanks for the well wishes.
majorgee OP t1_j09nfg7 wrote
This is definitely gonna sound cheesy but remember you really are one of a kind. We are all so nuanced. Some people spend an entire lifetime without ever truly answering the question, “who am I?” And sometimes it doesn’t matter what the answer is as long as you try your best to be a good person to yourself and others. You’re important and awesome and I’m sure you’ll find the clarity and peace you’re looking for and deserve. Keep hope, fellow redditor. Glad this post helped.
hamlin6 t1_j09nzyf wrote
Spaulding, get your foot off the boat!!!!
TheMarEffect t1_j09o3p8 wrote
Maybe there’s a map on the other side. Do the capitalized letters mean anything to you? Maybe try using black light
Giggles567 t1_j09t2v3 wrote
I love this, thank you!
blankblank t1_j09us9n wrote
When I was going through one of the most difficult periods in my life, someone sent me an email with Rudyard Kipling’s “If” and it was exactly what I needed to read at that moment.
TheNighttman t1_j09ynyy wrote
Thanks! This is going on my jokes/motivational chalkboard at work!
FarFetchedSketch t1_j0a7ea3 wrote
Same bro.
JesusDied4U316 t1_j0a7sgq wrote
R/stoicism
Love it!
SuaveMofo t1_j0a7zf1 wrote
WE got this
Some-Philly-Dude t1_j0a8wpj wrote
I mean when everything goes to shit and my wife is freaking out about bills, kids, and responsibilities and asks why I'm so calm I answer, "I mean I'm still alive, and I only get one go round so it's not all bad, and we always figure it out." And than she says that's not helpful. I just like to think it's about perspective- could things be better? Sure! But in my line of work I've seen so much bad shit that I just default to it could be worse but let's try to address the issue... and sometimes you find your fucked and can't fix the issue quickly, and that's okay too just keep swimming as it were.
Lapidariest t1_j0a8z37 wrote
Always look on the bright side of life
aVeryGreenApple t1_j0a9oem wrote
Thank you I needed this today
mostlygroovy t1_j0aa18i wrote
Hey! My buddy!
Move over, Swanson. I’m driving
ValyrianJedi t1_j0aadeu wrote
Whenever we have an issue my wife gets upset that I'm not freaking out, as if it means I'm not bothered. Think she finally realizes that, no, I'm bothered, freaking out just won't help anything.
sydneydanger t1_j0aalhk wrote
Speaking as someone who used to get “mad about being mad”… the only way out is just as you described — one step at a time. And you can do it. Habits are built but by bit, just a little better every day.
ValyrianJedi t1_j0aaumm wrote
> It doesn't fit on a poster (or does it ?)
I have the whole story of Call of Cthulhu written on a poster making art from the story, so I'm betting it'll fit!
ladynomad13 t1_j0absgh wrote
majorgee OP t1_j0abtdd wrote
Nice! Aside from being a great quote, I found the artwork on the print to be very peaceful. I only found one old Etsy post of someone who sold this specific print and it was a bad picture. Other than that couldn’t find a trace of this specific print. Nice job turning it into a digital print.
Edit: after second glance, you can slightly see the reflection of me on the frame lol. If you’d like to get it perfect I can take another picture and keep any reflection out of the picture! Lmk
EthelMaePotterMertz t1_j0acdje wrote
It's true, all you can do is your best. Make the best out of any situation, good or bad. And when it's hard the little things can get you through it while you work your past it. Try to see the good and enjoy what you can even when a lot of stuff sucks.
May your uncle rest in peace.
milaga t1_j0acumc wrote
This is immediately what I thought of.
Spauldinggetyourfootofftheboat.
CCrypto1224 t1_j0aebai wrote
I still want to slap the spit out of whoever introduced me to the concept of “toxic positivity” like I just can’t wrap my brain around the idea of positivity being toxic.
JohnSnowsPump t1_j0aha7x wrote
Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?
ceruleanpure t1_j0aiods wrote
Reminds me of a quote from WildeLife (webcomic).
“You can discern many things about the nature of a man by how he responds when things do not go his way”
[deleted] t1_j0akunt wrote
[removed]
EiNDouble t1_j0anx33 wrote
You're part of it now! 😁 Thank you for sharing.
[deleted] t1_j0apbq2 wrote
[deleted]
superior_navy235 t1_j0asxxn wrote
This quote means a lot to me right now because I’m going through some big changes in my life. So thank you for posting this.
CanadianJediCouncil t1_j0at5au wrote
“Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another's trouble, Courage in your own.”
― Adam Lindsay Gordon
houseofmercy t1_j0atd5z wrote
WORTH WHILE
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
It is easy enough to be pleasant,
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is one who will smile,
When everything goes dead wrong.
For the test of the heart is trouble,
And it always comes with the years,
And the smile that is worth the praises of earth,
Is the smile that shines through tears.
It is easy enough to be prudent,
When nothing tempts you to stray,
When without or within no voice of sin
Is luring your soul away;
But it's only a negative virtue
Until it is tried by fire,
And the life that is worth the honor on earth,
Is the one that resists desire.
By the cynic, the sad, the fallen,
Who had no strength for the strife,
The world's highway is cumbered to-day,
They make up the sum of life.
But the virtue that conquers passion,
And the sorrow that hides in a smile,
It is these that are worth the homage on earth
For we find them but once in a while.
AutoModerator t1_j0auovu wrote
Your submission was automatically removed because crossposts are not allowed.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Melded1 t1_j0auufk wrote
Whenever I see a post where someone is mourning or has just suffered a loss I find this comment pretty much always comes to mind. So much so that I like to write it out in full on a card if someone I know needs to hear it. It helped my partner a lot when she lost her mother, I hope it helps you.(it won't let me link to the op without removing my message)
"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks. "
Pink-socks t1_j0awjfc wrote
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
Adreqi t1_j0azgtr wrote
Now I want to see that poster.
noretus t1_j0b2pu3 wrote
It's a delicate balance. We had a LONG period of daily psychology that was very much about forced optimism and toxic positivity. We're now picking up on the fact that no, in fact it's okay and healthy to experience "negative" emotions as well - but that doesn't mean you have to always wallow in it either.
Just because we steered too far to the right doesn't mean the corrective movement should be all the way to the left. Also, it really depends on a person. Someone who is constantly running from their negative emotions needs to be assured that it's okay to feel like shit. On the other hand, someone who is always wallowing in their shit could benefit from being reminded of things to be grateful for etc. And most of the time you can't really tell who needs to hear what ( though it's oh so much fun to tell other people what they should be doing... ).
yaboyZane69 t1_j0b35z0 wrote
Sorry for your loss 💕
MinnieShoof t1_j0b3p04 wrote
I didn't scroll far enough so I thought the last bit of the line was "When everything goes dead" and I was "well, that is kinda prophetic."
zhornet t1_j0b41g5 wrote
Thank you!
BeastlyDesires t1_j0b4lf4 wrote
Reminds me of my late grandpa. He's apparently the only one with a smile on his face left in his village during the ww2 Japanese occupation and the troops there starts to like him.
fasteddie131 t1_j0b763r wrote
It’s easy to grin when your ship comes in and you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
gooch_norris t1_j0b9x63 wrote
I'm having a little get-together at the yacht club this Saturday... how'd you like to mow my lawn?
Nomadzord t1_j0bd8po wrote
You can do it! It sounds like you are already on your way in fact. I’m 42 and have improved my life and mind tremendously I the past 5 years. It’s hard work but worth it.
[deleted] t1_j0blhw9 wrote
[deleted]
GrantMe_Reviews t1_j0bmgte wrote
Love this. What a lovely message for him to send to you from heaven. Sorry for the passing of your uncle.
jessabruja t1_j0cab4c wrote
I needed to see this today, thanks 🙏🏽
jessabruja t1_j0caiyd wrote
adding this to my 5,000 emotional support screenshots 👍🏽
brovacs t1_j0czjpz wrote
Thanks! I didn't even realize the reflection at first - I thought it was an aged watermark of some sort haha.
I'd love another picture if it's not a bother - happy to have you as part of the printout too haha :)
weird-mostlygoodways t1_j0wx94k wrote
that's why it's so important to have people in your life with a good sense of humor
LightOverWater t1_j07u55w wrote
I think this is a terrible quote that attempts to deny normal human emotions. It's okay to experience grief, sadness, anxiety, anger... all the negative emotions are a valid part of the human experience.