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CSGB13 t1_izmwa1n wrote

Split your list into things that are essential and things that are optional, so you can focus on the important stuff and not beat yourself up if you don’t get to the rest

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__Polarix__ OP t1_izn3c5g wrote

Did this already, same result. But thank you nonetheless.

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sin1996 t1_izn0ge3 wrote

Make the list in the form of video game missions. Divide them into Main quests and side quests. Write a detailed description of how you'll complete the task for each quest, the more precise and clear you are the more motivated and confident you'll feel.

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__Polarix__ OP t1_izn3b1s wrote

Thanks for the advice. I downloaded an app like that before, but stopped using it as I experienced the same I said in the post.

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Helpful-Pickle-Jar t1_izq3jyh wrote

Wow, I like this idea but I think it would be too much pressure for me! I can make a to-do list because I know I have chores and stuff, but how do I know what my main quest is?

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sin1996 t1_izq7rix wrote

You'll know whatever is important will go into your main quests. For example you have 2 tasks, studying for exams and reading a novel. So obviously you'll priorities studying. Side quests are all those tasks which don't actually affect you in the near future and could be pushed further.

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goatjugsoup t1_izn75ne wrote

Either prioritize or be more realistic with your to do list. If its a daunting task try breaking it down into smaller tasks and try to be accepting of the possibility of needing to alter that task(s) further if your understanding of what is required changes i.e. you didnt realise x task required y thing

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Crash_69 t1_izrjpur wrote

I feel your burden.

I kept a list of things-to-do for a while. It was helpful at first. I got a sense of satisfaction when I crossed off items. It really felt like I was getting shit done.

Gradually though the list got longer with more complicated tasks and more distant planning horizon...Updating and maintaining the list became a task of itself. I also started to obsess about the format of the list. After a while I started to realize that I was using the list to procrastinate and I was spending more time thinking about doing things than actually doing them...I got frustrated and gave up.

For a few months, I did nothing but the things that absolutely had to be done...and only when they couldn't be put off any longer. I struggled with ordinary chores. My performance at work suffered to.

It got to a critical point where I realized that I couldn't survive like that and considered suicide to be the only way out. It was a very dark, hopeless place.

I eventually made an appointment to see a doctor. The doctor prescribed medication to help with depression and anxiety. He also referred me to a therapist. It took a while to find the right combination of medicines (we're still sorting that out). The therapist discussed strategies with me to help overcome motivation problems (still working on that to).

I'm still in a dark place, but I feel better and have a more hopeful outlook. I'm able to do things now that I struggled with like showering, eating better, and taking my meds regularly. Regular chores are a little less overwhelming.

Things are getting better.

Lists may have stopped working for you and that may be a signal of a more serious problem. I encourage you to talk to your doctor if you haven't already. If you have, make sure he knows that you're symptoms are worsening; he may need to adjust your treatment.

Depression is a serious health issue. Please don't ignore it.

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bluepseven t1_j084kwr wrote

There are excellent suggestions here. Stop being a perfectionist: give yourself a break. If you can’t complete the tasks that you expected yourself to finish, don’t “throw the baby out with the bath water”.

Re-evaluate: make a new list with only those things that you planned to do, but didn’t/couldn’t. Chop each of them up into smaller tasks. Work on these tasks one by one, breaking them down further, if necessary.

Lower your expectations: don’t expect yourself to finish the list in a day. Spread it out to a week, a month, etc. or reduce what IS expected.

And give yourself some compassion: if a friend or coworker came to you with their unfinished list, you’d probably say, “oh, no worries, try again tomorrow“.

I gave up on lists, because I could never finish them or get enough “checks” ✅ My lists were very long, and took way too long to write. Instead I tried keeping them in my head. (And we all know how that worked out 🙄) I’m learning to give them another try.

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iiSxhil t1_izq1d8l wrote

You might be giving yourself too many commitments. Sit down and chose a few. Use a weighted decision matrix to figure out what's most important to you, and then an eisenhower matrix to figure out what tasks to do. Recognise you're losing motivation and failing to act because you are overloading yourself with too much commitment. You're spreading your net too much, and it just gets too thin and weak

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Firefliesfast t1_izoa7ix wrote

Same here!! What worked for me was the bullet journal theory: if it doesn’t get done that day, I draw a little arrow next to it and write it on the next day’s list. So instead of feeling bad, it just gets moved to tomorrow where I have another chance to get it done.

https://bulletjournal.com/pages/migration

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