I hate that when im myself people don't like me as much as other people being themselves, because apparently other people's selves are better than my self. So i am now myself when im alone, which creates toxic reinforced feedback loops from isolation, and whatever i think will get the best results when im with others. I tried being myself for years and got nothing but trouble from it. Maybe i am in a toxic area and people really do just suck, but we dont always get a choice where we live and I don't want to constantly be fighting with people over stupid shit that comes with "being yourself". Because at the end of the day, our selves are not perfect, they are selfish IDs.