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TheBelgianDuck t1_ityy7dt wrote

Yeah. Nice and all. But sometimes life hits so hard, the best one can do is settle. For the good of his and his family. Even settlement is a choice.

183

IvoryArrows504 t1_itz58u0 wrote

I mean it isn’t bad advice, but did they hire a twenty year old to put that kind of shit up?

Every kid is told they are special, and they grow up thinking they are going to conquer the world. Or at least be anything they want to be. The reality is the average person is average, and is going to settle for an average life.

It is kind of comical to assert that everyone is special. Yeah, you are unique, just like everyone else. Now shut up and get back in line.

13

Autumnlove92 t1_itz6lpc wrote

Replying to TheBelgianDuck (#254,977)

I'm independent. No spouse, no family, got friends but they got their own lives with their own spouses and family. I support myself. I lived with my now ex for 7 years, 2 of which were after our relationship ended. I had the choice to financially struggle but have better mental health being away from his abuse, or stay in his abuse with a bigger paycheck. I took the former because I would've killed myself if I stayed living with him.

I've had to settle with my life. It's not the quality life I want, at all. I make due, barely, with no future really in sight. I've unfortunately been handed a bad card in life, basically trapped in poverty, and I've got two choices: bitch or make the best of it. For now, I'm making the best of it. But I've absolutely had to settle.

Not all of us can drop our responsibilites to chase dreams and hopes and an "ideal life." It is what it is.

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AkagamiBarto t1_itz8fok wrote

Sorry, can't do that. I'll not settle, but i can't vhoose either.

3

highdiver_2000 t1_itz937m wrote

Long time ago, when I was a out of job sysadmin, lots of people asked me to change line. I resisted and stayed in IT.

The next few years, there were ups and downs, still interesting. Now I am in project management. It is difficult to say I am going to keep at it.

2

hairysnowmonkey t1_itza06h wrote

To all my people who disagree, and feel like they settled because some amount of settling in life is perhaps sadly or perhaps not, necessary and mature and forced onto us: I respect us for knowing that success wears many faces, that our subjective small wins earned for ourselves are meaningful enough to outweigh the crushing large objective defeats foisted onto us by forces so large they don't even notice us, and for having calm ambitions of self sufficiency rather than egomaniacal ambitions of world domination. Yesterday was the last day of the past of your life. Ten years from now you can say well meaning smug billboards didn't out philosophize you.

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Sgt_Wookie92 t1_itzasye wrote

Yeah this is a big ole demotivational for anyone who has to settle for the best they can achieve, not everyone starts with the resources to chose what they want to do.

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brusiddit t1_itzd5lq wrote

Replying to Sgt_Wookie92 (#256,591)

I fully agree. I think i have led an exceptional life in many ways, and certainly felt like i didn't have to settle. I was also lucky enough to have a mentor early on and a stable and well paying career my entire life.

I acknowledge both the hard work i've put in and the privileged position i've held.

4

GiveMeTheTape t1_itze7lo wrote

I settled for one of the few choices available good enough?

2

bimonthlytoo t1_itzetxe wrote

Replying to Autumnlove92 (#255,986)

Still, for me, you would have settled if you would have stayed. You chose the hard way out because you cared for your mental health more than money. That's amazing. No, not convenient, but I salute you wholeheartedly.

39

ripyourlungsdave t1_itzfcg8 wrote

Unfortunately, some of us don't get to choose where our life goes. Sometimes physical and mental disabilities or issues take away your choices, leaving you to hope you can maintain your right to live through the kindness of others.

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Sgt_Wookie92 t1_itzfp03 wrote

Replying to brusiddit (#256,920)

I came from below the poverty line to now being just below middle income, I managed to get enough together to afford tertiary education for myself (mechanical engineering) but once qualified always ended up being overlooked for positions in favour of candidates with experience in the industry (from memory it was something like 10 jobs where i was the runner up candidate from multistage interviews), after 5years of applying with no luck I gave up on that dream that cost me every cent I could save but ended up in me returning to meaningless sales jobs i hate but have a natural knack at, everyone i work woth constantly remind me im too switched on for being stuck in jobs like this but everytime i try to get out something happens (latest being covid unemployment draining 40k of savings for a house deposit).

Not everyone that gets education wins,

Not everyone that gives their all succeeds,

but you just learn to deal with that being life and take pleasure in the little things.

10

stiiknafuulia t1_itzftv0 wrote

A rare few forge their destiny; most accept their fate.

6

Ragnheidr_ t1_itzfvwo wrote

Ten years from now imma be happy with just living

0

JimBeam823 t1_itzh0vk wrote

Ten years ago, I chose a different life, but my choices were bad and eventually my best option was to settle for the one I have.

0

immoyo t1_itzhnx1 wrote

I really don't like quotes like this. I made a series of choices in my life that could amount to "settling" in someone else's eyes, and some days, even my own. But I love my life and I have no shame in where I'm at.

0

maxiimus1 t1_itzhwl2 wrote

Welp, too late for that now.

1

quantumtrouble t1_itzjsfe wrote

Replying to IvoryArrows504 (#255,769)

Where does it say that everyone is special in that quote, or imply it? Seems to just be about not compromising to the point of living a life you never wanted, which is good advice if you're in a situation where you can actually do that.

1

BoyBoyeBoi t1_itzn8ys wrote

Yeah no, bullshit advice. Sounds pretty and all but this is not how things will end up for most people. I tried to choose my life all the time. It rarely (read: never) worked. Why? Because choices arent a one way street.

I wanted to work in a particular field, so I studied for it. Well I dont have the stomach for the over-inflated ego and stress that comes with the field, so I had to settle for something else.

I dont want to be single, but I cant force anyone to stay with me because thats not fair to them, not to mention illegal.

So no, fuck this advice. You will settle for a lot of things.

18

Boschlana t1_itzqrop wrote

Can I go with seems interesting …

Then…

It seemed interesting

0

DieSchadenfreude t1_itzswlg wrote

I feel like I am the pinnacle of not settling in life right now. I left my husband, for many reasons but mainly because he emotionally neglected me for years and had no real intent of changing that. I am working towards a new career after years of being a stay-at-home mom (nothing wrong with that but I never wanted to stay home as long as I did and got trapped in circumstance and serving others). I have a boyfriend I'm absolutely nuts about. I am getting in better shape than I have been for years. In ten years I hope I can look back from a comfortable, accomplished place and say this period in my life was a fantastic phase of decision making and hard work.

1

gcoffee66 t1_itztihw wrote

I tell this to myself, but would never tell this to others.

0

glasswallet t1_itztpv7 wrote

Replying to BoyBoyeBoi (#258,533)

So you chose one thing, collected more information about it and realized it doesn't align with your values, then chose something else instead despite what other people might think?

Homie that is the exact opposite of settling.

4

disynthetic t1_itzw80s wrote

Yes, definitely never be happy. And never come to terms with your limitations. Recipe for perfection, right there.

1

ActafianSeriactas t1_itzxgk2 wrote

"That's right kids, I chose to get laid off due to COVID-19 and work two remote jobs just to stay afloat"

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Wild_Question_9272 t1_itzy4fc wrote

Literally no one wants to work on factory floors. Stuff still needs to get made.

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Hatecookie t1_itzy64a wrote

I’ve been at the same dead-end retail management job for ten years and I’m finally leaving to go back to school in January. I’m really really excited, and nervous. I finally have a supportive, stable home life, unlike the first time I attempted college. I’m done with settling! I think, oh please let it be true.

3

blondechinesehair t1_itzykep wrote

Why would you choose this as the spot to photoshop this on to?

1

Purplemonkeez t1_itzz40b wrote

Wow, this post is getting a lot of hate. I personally like it as it's a good reminder to think ahead while keeping in mind what actually makes you happy. Maybe that's making more money at work, maybe that's starting a family of your own or growing your friend network... Whatever it is, no you won't have 100% control of the outcome, but you can focus your energy to work hard at it. You can control what you can to head in the direction that you want to.

I'm currently in the process of very actively working to leave a job with a toxic work environment. It's taken way more effort and been way more stressful than I expected. In 10 years, I hope I'll look back on this moment and see it as the catalyst that led to a really great change.

3

Iamthe0c3an2 t1_itzzbgt wrote

Yeah I want to be like Elon musk but I don’t have the knowhow and millions in start up money.

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MyChickenSucks t1_iu04099 wrote

This could use a picture of a soaring eagle set against a gorgeous sunset with snow capped mountains.

1

Competitive_Garage59 t1_iu07trh wrote

Nice thought but everything in my life was settled for. I could use a platitude telling me how to make peace with that.

1

SixshooteR32 t1_iu0b90u wrote

If you choose not to decide you have still made a choice!

Sing that in a high pitch girl's voice for extra points with your friends..

1

TheBigPhilbowski t1_iu0bfyd wrote

Also, step 0, be born into a life that allows choice instead of demanding that you adapt to survive.

Fuck capitalism and hustle culture.

1

a-wild-yasuo t1_iu0d6c2 wrote

Replying to WithinTheShadowSelf (#258,160)

...no

Only a life lived to be successful, grandeur, and ambitious is a life worth living. The life that you can brag about to your friends and family later when it's all over, and they will be genuinely impressed.

That's what we should strive for. Greatness and excellence.

−35

Lv_InSaNe_vL t1_iu0d8ce wrote

Replying to bimonthlytoo (#257,195)

Yeah that's what I'm thinking. It doesn't sound like they settled at all. In fact it sounds like they took the struggle head on and put the work into get themselves into a better (at least mentally and maybe even financially, but that is less important) position

4

Lv_InSaNe_vL t1_iu0dl30 wrote

Replying to Wild_Question_9272 (#259,956)

And your life isn't your job? When I think of my life I don't think about my job or income. I think of my friends, family, pets, good (and equally important, the bad) times, and all the other stuff that actually makes up your life.

If your definition of success is focused on your career you will never be satisfied.

1

FrigidLollipop t1_iu0ih34 wrote

Replying to Autumnlove92 (#255,986)

I hope you find a way up soon, friend. I'm in the same spot as you, but I'm now at a crossroads in my life where I have to make hard decisions. I'll be either settling with a chance for an upgrade later, or making a huge risk that might be a tremendous upgrade in itself.

6

FrigidLollipop t1_iu0ixf1 wrote

Replying to Purplemonkeez (#260,076)

I hope things work out for you, friend. Taking a chance and making a change for what appears to be better is admiral, and imo, always better than being inactive and wondering what could've been.

3

Aveta95 t1_iu0knx6 wrote

Replying to a-wild-yasuo (#261,956)

Meh. I used to be like that, where that lead me? Into depression and worse self-image issues. Sometimes it’s fine to scale back and reassess what do you want, outside all the worldly pressure. Not everyone can be in the spotlight and not everyone wants to.

Strive to be good to yourself and to others first and foremost and don’t set yourself to a pace you cannot keep up with. There’s plenty of cool stories to be made. They don’t have to be mind blowing to you but they can be to someone else.

8

cre8ivjay t1_iu0pv0o wrote

Replying to a-wild-yasuo (#261,956)

I think words like successful, ambitious, and grandeur can be misconstrued.

Just strive to be happy as often as you can, whatever that looks like. Doesn't have to be big things, either.

Make a dinner. Join a club. Smell a flower. Go for a walk.

Just keep plugging away. You got this. :)

5

Lolleos t1_iu0t5mo wrote

I chose my life alright, I just fked up when choosing.

1

Nightingaile t1_iu0zvhj wrote

That's assuming you believe that your fate is changeable.

2

joleme t1_iu10cuo wrote

Replying to glasswallet (#259,405)

> Homie that is the exact opposite of settling.

No it's not. You're changing the definition on people.

They wanted that job, but realized the baggage that came with it. If they want the job but can't have it because of X bullshit, that's called settling for something else.

They way you're interpreting it then there is no such thing as settling because settling itself is a choice.

Choosing an inferior outcome for any reason is settling.

0

glasswallet t1_iu10zok wrote

Replying to joleme (#265,369)

This is r/getmotivated. Sometimes it's not so bad to not take things completely literally.

To me, this post is more about staying true to yourself and your values. If you take it literally "Shit happens" instantly destroys the message. You've failed even if it was because of circumstance out of your control. Obviously we all know in real life that one bad hand doesn't instantly take you out of the game and completely inhibit you from designing your own life and making choices to get where you want to be.

In the spirit of the billboard, I'd say throwing in the towel on a toxic industry is more chosing your own life than if they stayed in the job they hated simply because it was prestigious or to make their parents happy or something...

In other words, if you look at the world with a tiny shred of optimism instead of negativity and a dictionary things tend to look a little different.

1

Jojobebe3334 t1_iu13xag wrote

As long as your happy. Does it matter how you got there.

1

Essembie t1_iu1b681 wrote

Choosing what you do with your life is for the very wealthy. The rest of us have to do what we're good at that can make $. For some lucky people that crosses over with what they like.

3

catch-24 t1_iu1ghqo wrote

Replying to Autumnlove92 (#267,493)

Most healthcare jobs pay decently. If yours doesn't, are you a CNA? If so you could work on becoming a BSN/RN perhaps. Or radiology tech, that pays pretty well. Bottom line, if your job has you in or near poverty, working toward a new job can change your life.

If that's not an option, you could also look into getting roommates short term. Any way you can save up a little bit now will help exponentially in the future.

Let me know if you want help brain storming more options. I hate to see people struggling financially and feeling like they have no options.

3

JTDC00001 t1_iu1i50s wrote

Replying to Lv_InSaNe_vL (#262,008)

>And your life isn't your job?

You clearly haven't worked on a factory floor. Have you heard of mandatory overtime? It's a thing! It means you work 11-12 days in a row, with a short break of 2-3 days, before doing it again. For months on end.

What time do you get under those conditions? You don't get to have a life outside of your job. That's how that goes. They suck that away too.

3

UniqueSemiconductor t1_iu1jyvt wrote

10 years have gone behind you, no one told you where to run, you’ve missed the starting gunnnnnn

2

JustLurkingIn t1_iu1omfd wrote

This hits me really hard as I just found out I have to have two more appointments for possible cancer diagnosis. Never felt more alone and yet I know a lot of people go through this. Hope I make it 10 years and whatever I do, I don't settle for anything

3

Yak_Rodeo t1_iu1qhcz wrote

Replying to TheBelgianDuck (#254,977)

and “settling” is not a failure

a person who does an honest job and provides for their loved ones is not a failure and has not “settled” even if life dealt them a tough hand

3

GeneralZaroff1 t1_iu1qiy0 wrote

Is choosing to be content with the best that you have“settling”?

Is there anyone who has achieved perfection in every area of life? Aren’t they ALL settling in one area or another?

2

Tbs87 t1_iu2c4gc wrote

I hope it is more than 10 years from now when I look back on my life and say that…..don’t put me in the grave that quick.

1

Hidebehinds t1_iu2ger0 wrote

Wish I would have read this ten years ago

1

ThyShirtIsBlue t1_iu2o9ax wrote

I neither chose nor settled. Life pinned me down, broke me, tossed me through the mud, and then demanded gratitude that it didn't do more before it urinated on me and left.

1

[deleted] t1_iu2q6yr wrote

I just trying to stay alive

1

Barbarella_ella t1_iu2x7ed wrote

I'm sorry, but this is bullshit. I have wasted years and years trying to achieve what I wanted, only to watch my peers with supportive families and money easily coast into what I could never grasp. So fuck it, I am finally on the verge of a job change that will bring me real money at a juncture I should have been at 20 years ago. I will not enjoy the job, but at least I will have money to tell people who write bullshit like this where they can shove it.

1

captchyanotapassword t1_iu2xiep wrote

The life I want is not available, so I have no choice but to settle. It wasn’t for lack of trying in my part.

1

PeteDaKat t1_iu2ywxt wrote

This is so arrogant, like you have a say-say in your life. So Western and entitled. Life in no way works like that. If you can operate like that, you are an anomaly.

1

FckSuccess t1_iu32ndp wrote

True indeed. This is the reason I try not to look at the rear-view and second guess the Road not Taken!

1

0neir0 t1_iu37dqb wrote

Settling is a choice

1

Steve_Austin_OSI t1_iu39pkk wrote

Replying to glasswallet (#265,477)

"this post is more about staying true to yourself and your values."

SOmething else that can be taken away through random events.,

shred of optimism? fuck that. Literally nothing to be optimistic about any more.

A lot of people have the dreams, goals, and agency to some degree randomly ripped from them, destroying all change of ever being happy. Through exactly no fault of their own.

I wish I was dumb enough to think there is anything left to be optimistic about. I could use a nice warm blanket of ignorance right now.

​

But I did data analytics around pollution and climate change.
Our civilization is dead, possible our specie, we just are going through the initial death throes.

It's really fucking bad.

−1

Necessary-Hospital96 t1_iu9mdof wrote

Have children to cloth , feed , get to all their activities and you can settle really quick when it’s not about your needs anymore

1