Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

TheBelgianDuck t1_ityy7dt wrote

Yeah. Nice and all. But sometimes life hits so hard, the best one can do is settle. For the good of his and his family. Even settlement is a choice.

183

Autumnlove92 t1_itz6lpc wrote

I'm independent. No spouse, no family, got friends but they got their own lives with their own spouses and family. I support myself. I lived with my now ex for 7 years, 2 of which were after our relationship ended. I had the choice to financially struggle but have better mental health being away from his abuse, or stay in his abuse with a bigger paycheck. I took the former because I would've killed myself if I stayed living with him.

I've had to settle with my life. It's not the quality life I want, at all. I make due, barely, with no future really in sight. I've unfortunately been handed a bad card in life, basically trapped in poverty, and I've got two choices: bitch or make the best of it. For now, I'm making the best of it. But I've absolutely had to settle.

Not all of us can drop our responsibilites to chase dreams and hopes and an "ideal life." It is what it is.

81

bimonthlytoo t1_itzetxe wrote

Still, for me, you would have settled if you would have stayed. You chose the hard way out because you cared for your mental health more than money. That's amazing. No, not convenient, but I salute you wholeheartedly.

39

Lv_InSaNe_vL t1_iu0d8ce wrote

Yeah that's what I'm thinking. It doesn't sound like they settled at all. In fact it sounds like they took the struggle head on and put the work into get themselves into a better (at least mentally and maybe even financially, but that is less important) position

4

FrigidLollipop t1_iu0ih34 wrote

I hope you find a way up soon, friend. I'm in the same spot as you, but I'm now at a crossroads in my life where I have to make hard decisions. I'll be either settling with a chance for an upgrade later, or making a huge risk that might be a tremendous upgrade in itself.

6

catch-24 t1_iu0zrgk wrote

Is there any way you can work your way out of poverty? Maybe go to a local community college and get a degree? Most office jobs pay above poverty level.

2

Autumnlove92 t1_iu1f996 wrote

I went to college and work healthcare. Thanks for trying though

1

catch-24 t1_iu1ghqo wrote

Most healthcare jobs pay decently. If yours doesn't, are you a CNA? If so you could work on becoming a BSN/RN perhaps. Or radiology tech, that pays pretty well. Bottom line, if your job has you in or near poverty, working toward a new job can change your life.

If that's not an option, you could also look into getting roommates short term. Any way you can save up a little bit now will help exponentially in the future.

Let me know if you want help brain storming more options. I hate to see people struggling financially and feeling like they have no options.

3

wesphistopheles t1_itz787s wrote

Hey, you can always rise up against yr own expectations!

−8

brusiddit t1_itzc65s wrote

I think the truth is always closer to balance.

3

Yak_Rodeo t1_iu1qhcz wrote

and “settling” is not a failure

a person who does an honest job and provides for their loved ones is not a failure and has not “settled” even if life dealt them a tough hand

3