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TwoStepsSidewards t1_it5ehhk wrote

I'm unsure, I don't think I like this quote though.

But, I do think it starts the conversation on Empathy vs Sympathy. Empathy being the ability to relate and emotionally engage evenly with the person speaking their emotions to you. Sympathy being in a state of understanding while providing ways the person may be able to overcome their situation, but not necessarily sharing the emotion as the speaker yourself.

A lot of people like more or less of one or the other. But both are great tools when needed. Telling which person wants what, or how much of both, isn't always clear to yourself or even to the person sharing their feelings which is why I'm unsure if I can agree with the post. It's not so "on/off" as it's written.

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trippingbilly0304 t1_it62cnh wrote

"Focusing on the positive" can be an extremely destructive process.

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Angry_Stunner t1_it6ppxb wrote

Focusing on the positive is what kept me alive when i felt like there was no point to going on though... I am a bit baffled by this wave of "toxic positivity" statements in the last 2 years. "Destroy what destroys you" is a common motivation focusing on getting rid of what brings you down, if you dont it will pull you into a depression and keep you there for good.

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BryKKan t1_it8tsxy wrote

Unless you're condoning murder, that's not always as simple as you think.

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NaTssz t1_it6hgcw wrote

How come? And what is better than focusing on positivity?

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Ferret_Brain t1_it6l7sc wrote

Because there sometimes isn’t a obvious positivity, or it seems bleak/pointless even when there is one.

Would you tell a CSA survivor “just focus on the positive”? You might as well tell them to just get over it as well, or that what happened to them wasn’t that bad.

Acknowledging someone’s pain and suffering, imo, is far more beneficial for their healing, because it shows you care about and acknowledge how THEY feel.

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dioxol-5-yl t1_it5r2i3 wrote

It shows an inability to relate to someone else's viewpoint that there may actually be a positive. It is in itself a selfish quote about how selfish people who are determined to wallow in their own self pity can erect walls that prevent do-gooders who try to find the best in things from helping you

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trippingbilly0304 t1_it621ci wrote

Youre literally displaying what this post is about. positivity can be just as self absorbed as negativity.

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Vioralarama t1_it69dy2 wrote

Some of you will welcome conversation with good intentions when you're fucked. Toxic positivity is terrible on the internet but less important in person. Judging someone for how they express their own feelings about you means you can't empathize with another person. It also makes you look self-absorbed.

Ex: I know someone who is very much about God having reasons for everything. I was surprised by it, and I really hate that line of thinking, but she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met and has been thru tough times. I see that is her world view so she means the best when she says it. In which case I don't begrudge her saying stuff like that.

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tenebrls t1_it7a1zi wrote

Good intentions don’t matter. Good intentions don’t alter the outcome of actions and events. Good intentions can be used to justify oppressive laws and viewpoints, toxic behaviour, and the propagation of further suffering to others. Good intentions are what people use to pat themselves on the back as they try to forget their world is still a terrible place and their actions have had no significance in making it better.

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Vioralarama t1_it7cv6h wrote

Well then quite frankly, good luck having friends when tragedy strikes.

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EVILMINDY12 t1_it650u3 wrote

It's like we're forgetting depression is a thing, and that's not something you an force ppl out of. Sometimes ppl aren't seeking help, most times it's just a listening ear.

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Ferret_Brain t1_it6lfbm wrote

I can’t find it now, but I remember reading something where someone was upset about something and her partner asked her if she wanted him to listen and help her process and grieve about it or if he wanted her to offer help/support/suggestions and I think that’s a much better way to look at it personally.

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