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tormundgiantbrain t1_isq8ajf wrote

Reply to comment by anomnnomnom in [Image] Discipline by Scandroid99

I had a very similar experience. Was very carefree and a tad lazy in my teens and early 20s, so mid 20s I started to force myself to be more organized and disciplined which was what I needed honestly but looking back at the self dialogue it was very harsh. Then I got used to that harsh inner voice being the norm and my work ethic and accomplishments just never seemed good enough. I kept the nose to the grindstone but at great personal cost to my happiness and relationships. Now the idea of being disciplined seems kinda icky and I guarantee it is my inner self saying "enough" to the brutal task master. There is a healthy balance in there somewhere and your comment about the self compassion aspect of discipline has totally changed my perspective on it so thank you!

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anomnnomnom t1_isqqd5e wrote

I had a similar realisation where it wasn't the work that was making my body and brain say, "enough" but the abuse I would give myself even just by the feelings of anxiety and stress to "must get it done or else." Was what I couldnt tolerate.

These things can become a habit and we often don't realise I think that it is just a habitual way of thinking and not reality a lot of the time. The same can happen with people who wish to lose weight and they can be skinny but they still have the "habit" of seeing themselves as fat (not the same as anorexia but part of that is habituated behaviours for sure).

A great way to find these troublesome thoughts is by looking for when you are saying to yourself, "should" or "should not" and I have found that questioning these shoulds and should nots has lead me to explore whether they are actually benefiting me or just left over unhelpful ways of being left over from childhood.

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