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ModifyAndMoveForward t1_irytibb wrote

This is a quote that I haven't heard verbatim before. I like it.

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rish_talking t1_irz18mr wrote

As long as you are speaking, inner child cannot be healed

−11

rish_talking t1_irz274n wrote

As long as you are speaking, inner child cannot be healed

−7

AwkwardVoicemail t1_irz2cf5 wrote

Be kind and patient with yourself. And maybe take a self-defense class, it can be a big confidence booster, even if you don’t think you’ll ever need it.

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justinv916 t1_irz30f0 wrote

This hits super close. Wow….

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fadoxi t1_irz5r5r wrote

Thicc nut hon

−5

randomdragen t1_irzap7s wrote

I dont think this is a good quote

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bread93096 t1_irzawhq wrote

Good thing I have strong feet, otherwise my inevitable mortality and social alienation might bother me.

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Complete-Scientist69 t1_irzdgar wrote

Idk man… I put all my eggs in the “God exists” basket which left me with no eggs… apparently that’s what He says to do but then when life effs you with a hot searing rod up your rear… every day for 30 years… how are you supposed to not have a “reason to be fearful”? I just… need the pendulum to swing to wins at a high and deep rate but it seems when I get one win, I get 10 loses and I just can’t pick myself up anymore.

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xxmimii t1_irzf142 wrote

Ofcourse, this is beautiful.

I would like to add: please refrain from telling your inner child that they have 'no reason to be afraid'. Especially for people who carry trauma, this is not true. Your inner child has had many reasons to feel afraid, and they matter, especially as you are going through a healing process.

Rather ask your inner child why they're afraid, tell them it's okay, that you understand, and then promise that adult you can handle this, and you'll handle it while holding hands.

Don't deny your inner child the emotional recognition it never got in your childhood, traumatic or otherwise.

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evasote t1_irzfpar wrote

Replying to Complete-Scientist69 (#83,814)

Well, for what it’s worth the person who said this quote is a well known Buddhist, and doesn’t particularly believe in god, and has a few answers that might offer some help along your journey if you feel like looking into his work

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alabasterwilliams t1_irzhclu wrote

My therapist goes on and on and on about this guy.

This is a solid introduction to him, thank you.

RIP, my wisened homie.

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o1011o t1_irzkfv0 wrote

This is an incredible lesson and one of the most meaningful ways I've experienced healing as an adult. Apply it to every part of yourself that can benefit from the wisdom and experience of any other part.

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Zealousideal-Sail-54 t1_irzppr1 wrote

I like this quote. My inner child always knew that standing my ground so long made me a coward in the face of confrontation. Onward voyager.

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xxmimii t1_irzruau wrote

Replying to vaguelyMatt (#84,308)

Not to my knowledge and experience. You don't get feelings 'for no reason', fear included. Feelings are simply your brain picking up on things (mostly unconsciously) and giving you a feeling which might make you handle/react optimally to the given situation. You might not think the reason is worth getting afraid over, but your brain has reasons for giving you feelings. Imo it's better to know why the feeling is there and reassure yourself, instead of dismissing it. I don't think dismissing feelings helps, no matter if you disagree with when you're feeling them. You can park them to examine at a later point, you can reason with them as they arise, but saying 'there is no reason' is just a more polite version of telling yourself 'stop being dumb'.

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atl_cracker t1_irzw50u wrote

Replying to alabasterwilliams (#83,989)

Thich Nhat Hanh is was an amazing Buddhist monk from Vietnam.

I highly recommend the long interview with Terry Gross on NPR's Fresh Air many years ago. his voice is incredibly peaceful and soothing, though his accent is a bit challenging to understand at first.

edit: sorry, i didn't realize he died earlier this year.

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mister_mirror t1_irzwpp9 wrote

Assert yourself. Or others will assert themselves all over your life.

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ClapSalientCheeks t1_is00jrn wrote

Your inner child trusts in this moment of peace - a kindness. But hark! Footfalls upon the stoop... squeaks groan from the mailbox maw. The tax man cometh!

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stiiknafuulia t1_is019bi wrote

My fears as a child were nothing compared to adult fears. I wish my inner child was here to comfort me, but I haven't heard from him in a long time.

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iwanttoseeart t1_is01dul wrote

I wonder where was this when I was told to quit my job 🤔 because I didn't worship the homeless shelter 🤔 I was living at : also having to ask my supervisor please call the homeless shelter director to confirm that you are not a figment of my imagination 🤔

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Moochkins t1_is02ymh wrote

But the abusers have strong hands and strong feet as well :(

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Janet0217 t1_is04q8n wrote

The coreSelf is a stooge to the adjuncts.

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ChrizKhalifa t1_is06g0j wrote

Replying to evasote (#83,917)

That's an understatement. He was (RIP) a Zen Master, if there currently live enlightened people, he was no doubt one of them. Even the Pope awarded him with the Pacem in Terris award. Wonderful and inspiring man, it can't be overstated.

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finneyblackphone t1_is06jfy wrote

I feel like maybe this is one for people who had trauma as a child.

I didn't live in fear so this one is not for me, I think.

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ChrizKhalifa t1_is06o82 wrote

Replying to Moochkins (#84,656)

The abuser is not strong. This account, also from Master Thich Nhat Han, might be nice for you!

An American soldier standing on the back of a military truck spit on the head of my disciple, a young monk named Nhit Tri. The soldier must have thought we Buddhists were undermining America’s war effort or that my disciple was a communist in disguise. Brother Nhit Tri became so angry that he thought about leaving the monastery and joining the National Liberation Front. Because I had been practicing meditation, I was able to see that everyone in the war was a victim, that the American soldiers who had been sent to Vietnam to bomb, kill, and destroy were also being killed and maimed. I urged Brother Nhit Tri to remember that the G.I. was also a war victim, the victim of a wrong view and a wrong policy, and I urged him to continue his work for peace as a monk. He was able to see that, and he became one of the most active workers in the Buddhist School of Youth for Social Service.

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BobbySwiggey t1_is07tyb wrote

Replying to ModifyAndMoveForward (#82,732)

Kind of surreal to see a TNH quote on reddit that isn't from the (tragically inactive) TNH subreddit lol, but definitely look him up if this kind of stuff speaks to you. This dude led a pretty long and interesting life, but one of the things he's known for is making spirituality and interfaith concepts more easily digestible for the general public. A pillar of all that is self love and self care, since that directly affects how we perceive and interact with the world around us.

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DaFugYouSay t1_is08ort wrote

I like the guy, but this sounds similar to Nancy Reagan's just say no thing. It ain't that simple.

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Pea666 t1_is08q95 wrote

Replying to xxmimii (#83,894)

Care for your inner child like you would for a child in the real world. Acknowledge their feelings and their fear and help them overcome it. Never invalidate anyone’s feelings.

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UStoJapan t1_is08qeq wrote

My mom was told something like this by her new general practitioner doctor with him stating it to this imaginary baby in his arms. It was one of the creepiest things she’d ever seen and she’s looking for a new doctor.

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BobbySwiggey t1_is090gm wrote

Replying to evasote (#83,917)

It's important to note that while he was a Buddhist, he also wrote extensively about the parallels between Christianity and Buddhism and basically reps Jesus as a Buddha. Granted, how he perceived God obviously wasn't the same way that Western Christians do, and he approaches Jesus with none of the backwards cultural/political attachments that you see in Christian nationalism.

I def agree that looking into his work may be beneficial for someone struggling with that faith system.

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Peakomegaflare t1_is09gld wrote

Doing basically this with my therapist every week. It's friggin surreal.

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MuscularBeeeeaver t1_is0a003 wrote

What happens when your inner child is more confident and put together than you 🤔

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Rebresker t1_is0edwz wrote

There’s always some person with stronger hands and stronger feet and he’s living in your walls… it’s leg day.

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allpraisebirdjesus t1_is0firs wrote

This book is literally on my desk at this very moment. everyone should read it tbh.

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Areyouuk2 t1_is0ghho wrote

This is a lovely thought and a brilliant thing to keep in mind. As someone with anxiety, I wish my brain would tell me what I am actually afraid of so I could do something about it!

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badluser t1_is0jl85 wrote

ITT: people who don't understand Buddhism

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xxmimii t1_is0kbbm wrote

Replying to Plausibl3 (#85,182)

Unfortunately not, I just happen to have been raised by someone who believes in this concept, and with a diagnosis of DID I have to be rather vigilant in how I talk to and treat my inner children, so to me it's a very specific coping mechanism.

I've tried googling something useful, but from what I've found just now it's either through specific a spiritual lens or geared towards psychology and integration of a personality.

For the first lens I can't recommend anything, that is truly up to you if something from that side interests you, I wouldn't know which take from the spiritual side would resonate with you.

If you're interested in the scientific psychological explanation of how DID functions (and thus give rise to an actual, separate inner child), I would recommend Ctad Clinic on Youtube. They have a lot of very interesting explanations on how the human brain deconstructs a personality when it is formed under traumatic circumstances in order to protect itsself. I unfortunately have no reading options on that front at the moment. Should I find some specifically geared towards inner children and how to communicate with them I'll reply to your comment again if you like.

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Agitated_Yoghurt3471 t1_is0kesc wrote

Replying to alabasterwilliams (#83,989)

This guy has such an amazing impact on modern day psychology! He was the teacher of the guy who then came up with the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program in the 70s. This program, in turn, is one of the most researched and effective programs to deal with stress and anxiety. Apart from being the basis for more specific programs to deal with other issues.

I follow a mindfulness podcast and the therapist there also aways mentioned him, especially "The Miracle of Mindfulness". So when I found the audio book in my local library, I thought I give it a try. Basically, it's just a long letter written to the monos back in Vietnam, but it is very dense in information and advice. The English speaker also has a nice baritone which makes listening a pleasure.

It's crazy somehow that all this progress in our world was possible, because one country had to suffer and one particular monk fled his country.

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xxmimii t1_is0kvvc wrote

Replying to Plausibl3 (#85,182)

Oh you might try googling 'mindfulness inner child', there's too much for me to go through to say "oh this one nails it", but I do think that's a better middle ground for an introduction to the concept of an inner child :)

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Saborwing t1_is0oujd wrote

Replying to xxmimii (#84,330)

In addition to what u/xxmimii said, anxiety is not always reasonable, but that doesn't mean it isn't real or valid. Whether you have a "real reason" to be afraid (or not) is irrelevant, because the fear is there. If you suppress or invalidate an emotion it can fester, and remains unaddressed. Better to acknowledge it, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, and then try to move forward using whatever coping mechanisms you have developed.

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hussiesucks t1_is0pip6 wrote

This quote is literally just saying “you huge baby, you can punch things good now! Don’t worry.”

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okthenweirdo t1_is0rjn5 wrote

One of the most memorable sessions with my CPTSD therapist was when he asked me to talk to my inner child, powerful stuff

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mr_j936 t1_is0syxs wrote

When I was an actual fearful child I used to ask "Future me, tell me how this ends, will we be okay?" usually in reference to hiding a bad grade from my parents or in anticipation of some big exam. My mom used to scare the shit out of me...

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Autumnlove92 t1_is0uem3 wrote

Replying to stiiknafuulia (#84,596)

Right? Like, my health is quickly deteriorating and I'm only 30 with no partner or family to help me. I may even be having heart problems and that's terrifying. If I become disabled, I'll be homeless. I've gotta work 2 jobs just to get by. The stress is only making my health worse and I'm very afraid of what's to come. My inner child would be a great comfort to me right now but she hasn't existed since the day I turned 18 and was out on my own. Roles are definitely reversed for me with this image.

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kemmicort t1_is0v6gb wrote

Just kicked my boss in the face. Thank you for the reminder.

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Astrnougat t1_is0ynqx wrote

I love the fact that this wisdom comes from thousands of years of Buddhist tradition, and only now is being incorporated into research backed therapy techniques. Like - humans have knows how to heal themselves for centuries, and we are only now coming to understand how these processes work on a scientific level. There shouldn’t be a schism between western and Eastern health traditions, because at the heart of it, we are all the same. Only in the past like 50 years have the eastern and western medicines started to merge - and thank god for that

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rako1982 t1_is12vsg wrote

Replying to xxmimii (#83,894)

Thank you for your comment. If anyone else doesn't like these type of quotes because they feel reductive and don't feel true then check out r/cptsd because you may well have that.

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guitardude_04 t1_is172pi wrote

Check out Internal Family Systems or IFS therapy.

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TylerLaurie t1_is1765n wrote

How did this both destroy and empower me in 10 seconds?

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xxmimii t1_is17jgv wrote

Replying to stiiknafuulia (#84,596)

Maybe take the time every once in a while do to something you liked doing as a child. Going to see a certain movie for nostalgia, building a tiny scene in a shoebox from sticks&stones and other random items, getting into lego, ÖOöOh especially things your parents wouldn't let you do because of reasons that don't hold up now that you're an adult and you CAN buy an entire cake and it it before dinner every day voor a week!

Sometimes all you have to do is give your inner child a clear signal that you're here for him, by doing something fun, even if it's just for that moment where you're just picking up rocks that you think look cool.

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archseattle t1_is1buj7 wrote

Replying to ValyrianJedi (#86,649)

I agree. I know some people can feel confident regardless how they’re dressed, but I’ve always needed to be dressed well in public to feel fully confident. I think it’s probably similar for other people who grew up in low income rural areas and live in cities now.

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ValyrianJedi t1_is1d03e wrote

Replying to archseattle (#86,809)

Yeah I'm in the exact same boat. Right after covid hit my company had us working from home for a couple months, and I realized pretty quickly that the whole sweatpants under the screen thing just plain didn't work for me. Like if I had a remotely important client meeting, even if it was just audio and no video, I had to get fully dressed up down to socks and shoes if I wanted to be at 100%. And from what I heard from other people thar definitely wasn't unique to me either.

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Jullyfish t1_is1dupd wrote

I've felt this realization while taking psilocybin. It's really helpful thinking that I've taken care of my younger self and my future self will take care of me in the future.

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SnooWalruses7112 t1_is1gdyt wrote

As an abused kid who suffers with anxiety, which has caused me to be the target of workplace bullies because of it... This helps

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xyletorp t1_is1h2nl wrote

Replying to xxmimii (#86,599)

THIS!!! As an adult I have gifted a lot of people coloring books and crayons, color pencils and the like. Seeing someone’s face lit up as they reconnect with a childhood joy 🥹 also it gives our way too busy adult brains something simple and productive, I’ve even put my pictures on the fridge 😌

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Survivalstage4 t1_is1huc0 wrote

A step to loving yourself is forgiving your past mistakes and acknowledging your inner child.

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Zogeta t1_is1kfju wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#87,210)

Everyone's got to start somewhere. Stick to a good workout plan and diet and you'll see yourself thinning down and toning up in the mirror in a few weeks. That confidence boost will come. Plus, you'll feel accomplishment as your results come in.

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Quivere t1_is1lzc4 wrote

What is the font used here?

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Ash_Divine t1_is1pbv8 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#87,210)

It's hard at first trust me. I really know what you're saying because only about a year ago I was 330lbs when I first joined the gym. Seeing myself in the mirror every time was very disheartening and the gym owner even told me later that some people at the gym would tell him that I won't last long (though I did and dropped to 172lbs, but I digress). But it gets better. Eventually you start liking the weightlifting, the walking, the jumping jacks and what not. Then you start making small goals, you start taking more pictures because you start liking the way your body is changing. You gain strength, you can run up the stairs. In the end, when everyone praises you for it, it's a very great feeling, although I'd say the true happiness comes from not hating the person in the mirror and I got to that point quite late. I don't shy away from pictures anymore, I'm more confident around my friends, I feel better when shopping for clothes because I know I won't have to go to another store if this one doesn't have the size I need. It's the little things in life, you know. After having lived at least 99% of my life being obese, this is a whole new experience. It's like I'm reborn and even though the challenges remain, I feel confident that I can do something about them.

I'll still encourage you to go to the gym. You'll be doing it for yourself and no one else. It doesn't matter what everyone else looks like. Everyone at the gym is struggling in some way. Skinny guys want to bulk but keep failing, girls struggle with strength training, old people can't walk as much. Take it one day at a time. Small consistent efforts make a huge change in the end.

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jabels t1_is1tyra wrote

Replying to Pea666 (#84,834)

I don’t think Thich Nhat Hanh was trying to invalidate anything, just for the record. I thin he grew up in a culture where it is normal to just be more blunt about these things. Obviously take the care to use the appropriate level of tact but also I think people can use modern concepts like “I don’t want to invalidate X” to hide behind not doing the work to solve X problem, which is actually the worse of two evils.

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F3stivus t1_is1wmm7 wrote

So pleasant I had to read it twice

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sabretoooth t1_is24q2h wrote

Replying to RealDrag (#84,376)

You won't just feel stronger, but more confident and generally happier. As long as you find a good gym with genuine trainers, and not a McDojo or a gym full of bullies, it will help you grow as a person, no matter your age or how fit you are.

There's frustration starting out where you can't do anything, but when you get to grips with your first two or three moves the satisfaction is huge, and it's an addicting feeling. There's quite nothing like practicing or sparring with a partner to get you out of your head and truly living in the moment.

Having a class to go to just once a week will do wonders. You'll feel incredibly sore the next day and think to yourself never again, but in a few days you won't be able to wait until the next session.

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PhilvanceArt t1_is25ciy wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#87,919)

I have never been a gym guy. Totally hate it, tried many times, but for some reason Martial arts have stuck with me. 26 years now. It’s nothing like a gym and you develop friendships and you just feel great. It makes you deal with your life different. You grow and start to realize that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought. It’s totally freaky and nerve wracking the first few times but it’s worth it.

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alterom t1_is29hrq wrote

Replying to xxmimii (#83,894)

>#Don't deny your inner child the emotional recognition it never got in your childhood, traumatic or otherwise.

This! The quote is invalidating and painful to many people who have gone through trauma. Here's what I would say:

It would have been more soothing if it didn't try to soothe with "no reason to be afraid" (what if there is?), and to further justify it with "we have strong hands and feet now" (what if we don't, figuratively speaking? And what if being strong doesn't help?)

I would have no issue if it said something along these lines:

>"Dear inner child. I understand that you are afraid. And you know what, the thing you are afraid of is scary - it really is! We are still dealing with it today, even as a big, strong adult. No wonder you struggled so much back then!

>But you know what, the fight is different now. We have learned. We have more tools now. And while we still get afraid every now and then - it's OK! - we do not let that fear consume us and define us.

>Not because we have grown stronger - trauma doesn't bring strength. But because we have grown. There's more to us than just the wounded part.

>We are a tree that grew from a stump - so intricate that nobody sees that we were broken once until they get real close. Where the branches were cut, the sap still drips. And yet, we stand tall, a tree of a million leaves.

Here, take this. And be kind to yourself, y'all.

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MangoCrisis t1_is2akzp wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#88,229)

It's kinda like jumping in a hot tub. If you know nothing about a hobby and just sign up for classes it's going to feel like it burns. It helps to dip your toes in. Take a boot camp at a gym thats for beginners maybe read about the martial art you are interested in. So then atleast you have a rudementry idea of what's going to happen in class. We are all just robots with life times of conditioning. Even though we are past that age where everything comes easy you can learn. Humans are amazing, we are all capable of more then we think.

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alterom t1_is2c0l5 wrote

Replying to Pea666 (#84,834)

>Care for your inner child like you would for a child in the real world. Acknowledge their feelings and their fear and help them overcome it. Never invalidate anyone’s feelings.

This!. I feel like the quote falls short here. I wish they said something along these lines instead.

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xxmimii t1_is2iahm wrote

Replying to jabels (#87,715)

I simply pointed out that in my opinion it is unwise to invalidate oneself with said wording, and provided a possible alternative for those interested.

I never spoke about Thich Nhat Hanh or his intent, so I don't really understand what your interpretation of the influence his culture might have had on his wording, tries to explain here. Anyone can use any modern concept to fit their own narrative and perspective in order to avoid constructive self reflection.

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cacille t1_is2jiyo wrote

This is not the complete healing!

Your inner child is 7-8 years old and talks.

Once you say that's thing above....LISTEN. They will talk in thoughts and feelings and words. Your job is to identify the feelings, the roots of the feelings, process the thoughts and feelings, and let the child cry while you cry with her/him!

Your job after that is to listen to that child when they talk or give you feelings to sort.

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Quirky-Departure4704 t1_is2yw5s wrote

Feminist and Democrat woman would tell the baby their gonna kill it and than play victum to all their friends when they murder a child.

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Butsy94 t1_is2zoq9 wrote

R.I.P. to the legend

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SafeHayven t1_is34ocd wrote

This is something I’ve had to do with myself, as someone who has gone through a lot of bullying, trauma etc. Sit down and remind myself of all these years that have passed, my growth as a person, ability to defend myself, etc.

It will get better. Just keep holding on.

1

AwkwardVoicemail t1_is3ou8x wrote

Replying to jochem4208 (#87,853)

Anxiety causes me to imagine the worst case scenario a lot of the time, even if I know it will never happen. After a few months of Krav Maga classes, I started to think to myself “Well, at least I know I can punch people if I have to.” Just the knowledge that you are powerful helps a lot.

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Ash_Divine t1_is3uyjl wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#88,489)

There are online classes for it if you so wish. You can do workouts from the comfort of your home. The trainers help you via video call.

If nothing else helps, then just count calories and walk every day. Just walk for an hour straight, doesn't matter how fast or how slow. At your current weight you'll just lose a lot of it by walking and watching what you eat.

0

katolalde08 t1_ishwoyq wrote

I needed this more than you know. Thank you

1