Chasing fantasies makes life worth living [Discussion]

Submitted by TreatThompson t3_120xp8n in GetMotivated

Today we’re aware of more lives that can be lived than ever before.

Thanks to the internet, we have a catalogue of lifestyles to choose from. Following 100 people on Instagram is like checking out 100 lives that could be mine.

The abundance makes it feel like anything is possible, so we end up identifying with a few and convince ourselves that’s how we should be living.

All of a sudden the life we have isn’t the life we want.

This gap goes on to define our lives. Our ambitions are to build things we don’t have, our goals are to reach heights we can’t see, and our dreams are to create lives that don’t exist.

But one of the first lessons we learn as kids are that things don’t always go our way. Sometimes you gotta put the toy back on the shelf and leave the store empty-handed.

Consistent disappointment shows us there’s always room for our wishes, wants, and needs to go unmet. We’re stuck between the life we have and the life we want.

Unfortunately, we internalize our frustration about this reality.

We feel like a whole other life was possible, but we never made it happen. We blame ourselves for not having something that can’t exist.

“We’re haunted by the myth of our potential”—Adam Philips

It’s frustrating because having a fantasy life is programmed into us. When we’re kids, our parents do their best to inflate us. It’s their goal to make us feel special.

We shoot out of childhood like a rocket with fantasies as our fuel.

These fantasies are like the ghost version of your character in Mario Kart.

Except here we’ll never reach it. But that’s okay.

Why would we boot up the game if our goal is behind us every time? We don’t want to win—we want to compete.

That ghost is our north star in life. So the life we can’t have is actually an important part of the life we do have—we need something to obsess over.

It’s what makes life worth living. We want to be alive to pursue the fantasy.

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This post was from my newsletter

I share ideas from great thinkers so we can stand on the shoulders of giants, instead of figuring life out alone

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Comments

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TreatThompson OP t1_jdjes40 wrote

It reminds me of this quote too:

"Men desire novelty to such an extent that those who are doing well wish for a change as much as those who are doing badly" - Machiavelli

We always want something new

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Massive-Ad-5642 t1_jdkllna wrote

I believed this until I got cancer and then my mind set shifted from living for the future to living in the present moment. Too many people are trapped in this ideology.

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ackshunjacksun t1_jdjt48f wrote

Agreed with everything up until saying we want to compete and need this ghost - at the end of the day you’ll always end up taking action based on being whom you ‘perceive’ is ‘worthy’ of your love and attention.

Highly suggest following some people in similar places as you and those who have less than you and learning what it feels like to “love” and praise them too.

But hey, whatever works for you! As long as it’s things you truly enjoy.

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TreatThompson OP t1_jdjtxh4 wrote

Glad at least some of it resonated with you! 😄

I used the “compete” part as a synonym for “the process”

I personally don’t think we want to reach a goal and then bask in paradise for the rest of our lives. I think we want to reach it and go on another journey after—we fall in love with the process of achieving things

That’s why the happiest people in retirement are the ones who pick up a hobby or start a personal project

Hope that logic makes more sense 😅😅 Regardless, I love your open mindedness, thanks for sharing 😁

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