I definitely would consider seeing a psychologist (if u haven’t already). You sound like u think very deeply about things which is really powerful but sometimes overthinking can jamb u up and just need to unscramble. Potentially ADHD (distractive) might be a factor for u if you flip between being insanely productive on things that you connect with but struggle with motivation / procrastination if it’s not that interesting to you.

Overall, take it easy dude, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves in our late-teens and twenties. You have decades left of your life to work it out.